


Choices

by Nixxiebee



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-10-15 05:05:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 74,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nixxiebee/pseuds/Nixxiebee
Summary: After the defeat of Hades Aloy finds herself with so many choices to make.  She thought the defeat of Hades would bring about a time of rest and some much needed relaxation for her, instead she finds herself being pulled this way and that by a tribe who now worship her, a King who wants to marry her, and a vanguardsmen who... well.  Just what was Erend exactly?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fic pretty much ever. I did start another one once but I kinda just stopped cos I felt silly!! But some of you guys have inspired me to give this a go... soooo here goes. hope you like it. I have some ideas, but I will just write up one chapter and see how you guys react :)

As her body stopped shaking from the surge of electrical current that had passed through it when she stabbed her spear deep into the circular mechanism of Hades, Aloy took a moment to survey her handiwork.  Well, that spear was in deep, judging by the current that had passed through her she figured she must have done substantial damage to the machine.  Just as she was thinking this a pulse of energy passed out from atop the spire, knocking her to her feet.  The signal, to stop the Faro Swarm, she had done it.  Hesitantly she reached out to touch the spear, stopping just shy of it and curling her hand into a fist, perhaps it would be better if she didn't remove the spear, she didn't want to disrupt the pulse, besides she didn't really want to get another electric shock.  
Behind her she could her the whoops and cheers of her fighting comrades, feeling somewhat dazed Aloy made her way past Hades towards the edge of the spire grounds from which you could look out onto Meridian.  The city had suffered immense damage, it would take a while to rebuild.  Across the canyon Aloy could make out people, slowly making their way to the edge to look over to the spire, desperately peering out to see if the battle was over.  
A twig snapped, and leaves rustled behind her, she wheeled around already knocking an arrow into her bow and beginning to aim.  Erend held up his hands stopping cautiously, Varl beside him. She let her bow fall to her side and smiled at them.  Across the canyon faint cheering was erupting, the site of 3 warriors standing across from them making the people hopeful that this meant the battle had finished.  Aloy turned back towards the people and lifted her bow in celebration, the people erupted in woops and shouts, Erend and Varl followed her example lifting their weapons into the air in celebration.   
Grinning from ear to ear Aloy felt a sense of calm wash over her. Yes there was work to be done to clean up the mess left in the wake of the war, but the war was indeed over. No more eclipse, no more Hades.  She felt oddly free, as though a weight she hadn't realised had been there had been lifted from her shoulders.  
She turned to her companions; "I suppose we should move to the city... I guess people will want to see us." she grinned as Erend chuckled "You think?" He replied.  They walked back round suddenly realising they hadn't checked on the rest of the Nora warriors and Vanguards whom had helped battle, they had sustained few losses, but many were injured.  Thankfully most not too badly.  They were able to walk back towards the city as a group.

The damage was far reaching, huge swathes of the city were alight, smoke billowed into the sky making them cough, all around them was chaos, people desperately searching for loved ones in the ruins of their homes and livelihoods.  Aloy's heart ached for them, and she wanted nothing more than to stop and help them all, but as she made to do so Erend reached out, grabbing her arm; "We can help later, first though lets get the message out that the threat is over."  She knew he was right, nodding, but something caught her eye, a small ragged stuffed toy near her feet, she bent down and collected it up, brushing the dirt and ash off she looked around, nearby she saw a mother trying to comfort her crying daughter as she desperately searched around the ruins of their home, Aloy moved to go toward them bending to the childs level as she reached them,   
"I think I found something that belongs to you..." Aloy presented the toy to the child who grinned wildly her crying ceasing she threw her arms around Aloy taking her by surprise at first making her freeze, but then relax as she hugged the child back.  She stood up, the child wrapping herself around Aloys leg, Aloy smiled warmly and placed a hand on her head.  
"Thank you."   
"It's fine, really." Aloy responded to the mothers thanks before looking back down at the child and ruffling her hair, before moving to remove the childs arms from around her legs to untangle herself and get back to her party.

* * *

 

Erend watched as Aloy walked over to a mother and child toy in hand. Dammit Aloy, what did I just say about helping? He thought to himself, but he smiled slightly anyway as she knelt before the child giving back the toy. She had no idea how much she amazed him, her compassion and helpfulness towards people, despite her rough start in life as an outcast, it left him breathless.  Knowing that helping people would be the last thing he'd ever want to do if people had treated him as badly as they had treated her for the first 19 years of her life.  But there she was hugging a child, warmth in her eyes and a smile that only came from being happy to help.  
She walked back over to him, "Sorry" she began, sheepishly knowing she'd just done the opposite of what he said.   
"Don't be." Erend smiled at her, placing a hand on her arm. They shared a slight moment, and he almost forgot the rest of the vanguard and nora behind him. Almost.  Until Varl coughed, and Sona spoke up.  
"Are we going to keep moving or what?  I don't want to spend anymore time in this city than I have to" Sona said, a hint of disgust in her voice.  What was her problem? Whatever. Erend didn't care what her problem was. He tore his eyes off Aloy and looked at her.  
"Yes. Right... sorry.  To the palace then.." he said, flustered.  Varl was glaring at him.  What was HIS problem now!? By the sun these nora are a moody bunch.

* * *

 

Avad was in the Throne room.  Pacing.  He had felt the signal go out from the spire.  He was sure it meant Aloy had been successful and stopped the Faro Swarm.  But, at what cost? Blameless Marad tried to soothe him, but it was futile. His city was in ruins, his people were suffering, dying.  That worried him.  And he worried for his vanguard at the spire, had they made it? Was Erend still alive? He hoped so, he liked Erend, not as much as he'd liked Ersa... but he enjoyed his company, and respected his abilities.  And then there was Aloy... the one whom he worried about most. The one who his heart ached and pounded for since she jumped down off his balcony towards Helis.  To her death he had thought, but he heard she had triumphed. He had hoped she'd come back to him then, but she hadn't, instead she had rushed off to the city gates to try and help repel the oncoming machines.  Of course she had.  He had kicked himself for thinking she'd ever do anything else!   
But now... silence.  Save for the fires burning and his people calling and screaming below him.  He wanted to go out there, to help them, but Marad would never allow it. He had sent as many guards as he could keeping but one in the palace just incase.  He paced some more;   
"Why haven't we heard anything I thought they woul..-" He was cut short by the doors opening, a group of people entered the room, at their forefront, Aloy.  He let out a long breath he hadn't realised he had been holding, and in a rather undignified, not very kingly manner, he rushed down the stairs towards her and grabbed her into a tight embrace.  
"Aloy!" He said breathlessly into her hair as he moved a hand up, cupping the back of her head, "Oh Aloy I thought I'd lost you!" he murmured into her hair.  Unaware of the shocked stares of the people around him, and the glares from Varl and Erend.

* * *

"Avad, what the-" Aloy spluttered as the Sun King pulled her into an embrace.  She had not been expecting this...   
"Oh Aloy, I thought I'd lost you" she heard him murmur against her, too quiet for the others to hear.  There was something in his voice, something different. She couldn't quite place it.  Erend sometimes sounded the same way.  Although when he did it it made her feel funny and want to hold him close.  With Avad, not so much.  Although she returned his hug, sensing that he needed it, even if she didn't.   
"I'm fine Avad.  It's fine." she said, comforting him.  
She stepped away, out of Avad's embrace, although he seemed to let go reluctantly.  His eyes on her face, searching her own.  What was he looking for from her right now?   
Avad sighed, "What happened?" he asked them.    
"It's done. Hades is defeated." Aloy informed him. "The signal was sent out, the Faro Swarm should be deactivated now... Your city is a little worse for wear though."   
That got a small smile from him.  And from the others, breaking the tension in the room that Avad had created with his embrace.  
"Yes, I can see that" he smiled sadly "there is much work to be done."   
"We will do everything we can" Erend piped up.  "Some of my men are injured, but where we can help, we will"  
"Thank you Erend, I know you will." Avad's gaze turned towards Aloy and the rest of the Nora.  Before Aloy could speak Sona began.  
"We have to go back to the Embrace. Our lands were hit too, and we did not get the chance to make repairs after because Aloy called us to battle here, with you." She informed him.   
"I understand War-Chief.  And I thank you for your help.  The Carja owe your tribe a debt.  You will always have my gratitude for your assistance to us in our hour of need." he was smiling at them warmly, he meant every word, but the nora were though crowd.  
"We came for Aloy. Not the Carja. Or you." Varl said, sounding surprising venomous.   
Avad was taken aback. "Well, you have my gratitude for the help anyway, regardless of your reason for helping" he said diplomatically.  
Varl sneered a little, "Come on Aloy" he said, grabbing her arm and attempting to pull her away, "Lets go home."

Aloy stood stunned at Varls confidence that she was going back with them.  Was she? The Nora were her people and they did need help rebuilding too.  However Meridian had suffered more damage than the embrace had and needed more help.  She was torn.  She looked at Avad, his expression seemed to be silently begging her not to leave.  Of course he would want her to stay, help Meridian, his city.  She glanced at Erend, he looked... sad?  He did seem to enjoy her company she mused, I guess he wouldn't really want me to leave either.  
The Nora looked at her expectantly.   
She had a decision to make. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Aloy helped load the last of the supplies onto the wagon.   
"Please let me tame some machines for you" she pleaded with Sona.   
"Look at the destruction caused by machines! No! Machines are evil. The Nora have been right to keep their distance from them."   
Aloy frowned, their journey would be so much easier and quicker if they just took some machines, but she wouldn't press the matter.  The Nora were stuck fast in their ways, it was one of the reasons she didn't feel very connected to the tribe.  She hated how close minded they were, how they looked for anyway to twist things to suit their world view, no matter how illogical that was.  But, she also respected Sona, and all the Nora who had come to help Meridian.  Given how close minded they were and the history between the Nora and the Carja, it had not been easy for them to put aside their view of the Carja and come help. 

"Please come with us Aloy" Varl begged.  In the distance, pretending to busy himself with some work, Erend frowned to himself.   
"I can't Varl.  Meridian has suffered more damage, I think it's better I stay here.  At least for now." Aloy responded.  
The hurt was apparent in Varls eyes.  He reached out and grasped Aloys hand, "But we need you.  You're the anointed one! You're presence in this time would mean so much to the tribe." Varl argued.  
This was the wrong thing to say to someone who didn't really believe in someone being anointed, least of all want to be that person!  In fact it had been a large factor in her decision to not to go back with the Nora, she didn't want to deal with being 'the anointed one'.  
"The Nora have managed 19 years without me.  I'm sure you will manage again." She said somewhat coldly.    
Varl accepted his defeat. "Ok, but I hope you do come back. To us. To me" and taking Aloy by surprise, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.  One hand still holding hers, the other moving to cup her face beside the jawline as he kissed her.  He let his gaze linger, trying to convey his feelings towards her through his eyes, hoping to find hers agreeing, but instead he found nothing.   
"Goodbye Aloy" he squeezed her hand and left, joining the rest of the Nora.

Aloy watched him go, confused about what had just happened.  She didn't get to dwell long on her thoughts before she was interrupted.  
"Aloy!" Teb came towards her "Aren't you coming back with us?" He asked, surprised, and looking a little upset that she wasn't.  
"Teb" Aloy smiled warmly as he approached, "No I'm not, sorry Teb.  I just feel that Meridian needs me more right now."   
"I understand.  Will we ever see you again?" He looked hopeful, and Aloy smiled, she liked Teb and he seemed to know her better than Varl or the other Nora.  He understood that she wanted to stay in Meridian, that she didn't feel a part of the Nora.   
"I guess I will probably return, once Meridian no longer needs me."   
Tebs eyes lit up.  "Great!" He pulled Aloy into a hug. "I'll miss you until then though Aloy."  
Aloy hugged back, "I'll miss you too, Teb."

* * *

 Erend had been surprised to learn that Aloy had decided not to go with the Nora.  After all on the day he met her she had been attending the proving, trying to get into their tribe, yet since then she had done nothing but run from them.  However his surprise was overridden by a much greater feeling of joy in knowing that she wasn't leaving.  She always left too soon for his liking.  He found himself hoping the clean up in Meridian would take a very long time.  
He helped Aloy and the Nora gather as much supplies as they could, which admittedly wasn't much given the state of the city.  They would have to find more along the way.  As the packing neared its end, Erend held back, giving Aloy space to say her goodbyes.  He pretended to busy himself with some fallen masonry nearby, and whilst he was moving it he could also hear their conversations as Aloy begged them to let her get them some machines to help.  Yes she was not like other Nora, whilst she wanted to tame machines for them to use, they were vehemently opposed to the idea, even if it did come from their 'anointed one'.   
He listened as Varl approached her, fear rising in his chest.  He knew Varl liked her.  It was obvious, and he was the War-Chiefs son, good looking, with a broad muscular body, and competent in fighting, which was much more suited to Aloy's more swift manner of combat than his rather gung-ho, lackadaisical approach of just charging in, hammer swinging.  Varl and Aloy made a good hunting team, sneaking up and dispatching enemies swiftly and silently.   She would be much better off with a man like Varl, than a man like him.  Varl probably didn't drink himself to oblivion either, Erend noted.  He lamented as he heard Varl begging her to stay, but joy rose in his chest as he heard her respond that she would stay in Meridian, plummeting when he heard her add "for now" on the end.  Why did was surprise him? She was Nora for fucks sake! You even thought yourself she'd go back with them to start with so why the sudden surprise that she may return later!? Idiot. Erend chastised himself moodily.  His mood sinking further as he saw Varl take Aloys hand, moving closer to her as he pointed out that she was the anointed one, although he winced as he heard Aloys cold reply.  Damn Aloy.   He mentally made a note to never get on her bad side, sure any words she could say to him in such a tone would cut him worse than any knife ever could.  

He tried not too look as Varl cupped her face in his hand, kissing her cheek.  Watching someone else be that way with her burned his heart with searing pain.  If only he could muster up the courage to do it.  Oh sure he was Captain of the Vanguard, he helped dispatch the Mad Sun King, avenged his sisters death, fought the onslaught of machines from the Eclipse in the battle they'd just won, in which he had been convinced would be his last.  And yet he had gone, because it was his job, and he was undeniably brave when it came to battles.  But when it came to  _her,_ she made him feel like a boy, not a man and definitely not a soldier.  Around her, all his courage and confidence shrivelled away, he felt so... inadequate compared to her.   
Watching Varl with Aloy reminded him of how Avad had held her tight when they had gone to see him.  A shiver ran down his spine as he remembered  how tightly Avad had held Aloy to himself, but also the tenderness with which he'd held her.  Even if Varl wasn't competition for Aloys heart, Avad certainly was.  How could he ever compare to the fucking sun king!? 

His thoughts were interrupted by another man calling Aloys name.  Damn she's popular! He immediately chastised himself for that thought. Of course she was fucking popular.  She was Aloy! Tamer of machines, saviour of Meridian, to them the anointed one.  And, well,  ** _look at her_** anyone would be an idiot not to love her.  
Her actions with this guy seemed much more familiar and at ease than with Varl or even Avad, and Erends eyes narrowed as he regarded the thin sapling of a man with half his hair shaved and half flopping down his face.  This guy Aloy?  _Really?_  He found himself thinking.  Not he felt he was anyone to judge.

* * *

As the Nora began to leave, Erend moved to stand by Aloy.  They watched in silence for a while before Erend broke the silence;  
"I thought you'd go with them" he said softly.  
"You can't get rid of me that easily" Aloy teased making him chuckle, she sighed however, "I dunno. Part of me feels I should be going with them... technically they are my tribe but..." she turned to look at him, her olive eyes staring into his as they filled with hurt and pain making his heart break for her. "They cast me out as a baby Erend" she continued, "They thought I was a curse and so they cast me out to protect the tribe." Erends eyes were wide, he knew she'd been an outcast since a child but, he didn't realise they had literally cast her out as a tiny baby, an innocent baby!   
"And I guess I can't blame them much because its what they believe and I understand the logic from that sense but... now they all want me to go back with them, and worship me as their anointed, when just earlier this year they wouldn't even talk to me, some would spit at me and throw rocks at me if they saw me in the embrace and now they expect me to just forget that, as they seemingly have?" She shook her head, "The Nora are my tribe, but only on a technicality. I don't really  _feel_ Nora.  I don't feel part of the tribe.  I don't think I belong there, but then I am not sure where I belong now." 

Erend pulled her into him, arms wrapping tight around her.  He knew he'd taken her by surprise, but was pleased when she returned his embrace holding him back, her own arms wrapped tightly around him.  Silently he cursed his heavy metal armour that prevented him from fully experiencing the feel of her body pressed against his.   
Softly he kissed the top of her head; "You belong with me" he whispered, jolting as he realised he had said that out loud "I mean... you belong here, in Meridian... with the uhh, vanguard" he stammered awkwardly as Aloy moved away from him, giving him a quizzical look at his whispered remark.  Although she couldn't help but feel there may have been some truth to it, standing in his arms she had felt a sense of belonging she hadn't felt since Rost had passed away.  With Erend there, with her, she almost felt... at home.   
She laughed at his awkwardness, grinning at him. 

"Maybe..." she responded, looking into his eyes, then tearing them away to look across at the city.  Could it be that she did belong out here in Meridian?  The idea seemed silly, but then she looked back at Erend, and suddenly it didn't seem silly anymore, it just seemed like a fact.  Perhaps she did belong here. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly, everybodies favourite Vanguardsman Kiln appears. Credit to SilenceNorth for her invention of him!

Erend and Aloy rounded up as many guards and citizens as possible, they needed as many people as possible in order to start putting out the fires raging across the city, and Aloy had an idea.  Currently many people were fighting different fires, some even single-handedly, slogging back and forth from the nearest water source with buckets.  But this method was proving ineffective against the copious amount of fire they were dealing with here, so Aloy proposed a new solution:   
"We form a line.  Starting at the stream and heading towards the closest fire, we pass buckets up and down the line to one person who can continuously pour the water out and onto the fire, once one is out we move on to the next." She hoped they could gather enough help for the idea to work as they would need to move around many different sections of the city too.  Hopefully if she could get people so see how much better this would work out, she could convince more people to join and help. 

Erend was already on the case, rallying people.  She had asked him to do that since she knew from the proving that he had a way with words and for getting people to follow his orders.  It's also what made him a brilliant captain, despite his concerns that he didn't live up to his sisters expectations.   
Aloy began getting people in place, beginning to fight the fires closest to the stream as they waited for more people.  As she expected, this process helped make extinguishing the fire come faster, and she hoped that she could prevent the fire spreading further and help keep the unaffected parts of the city unaffected so they could keep the space in which to offer shelter and aid.  

In the distance she saw Erend return with a crowd of people behind him.  "Aloy," he called out to her "You think this is enough?" he smirked, feeling rather cocky. He had done a good job if he said so himself.  Many people were more than willing to help get their city back from the flames, especially when the request came from the captain of the kings vanguard.   
Aloy regarded the crowd of people, then looked sideways at Erend "I suppose it might do" she grinned at him, sticking her tongue out slightly in jest, which made Erends heart flutter, didn't she know how cute that made her look?   
They organised the people into lines, ensuring that citizens were towards the back of the lines, closer to the stream for safety, Aloy was at the head of the line, next to Erend. 

They moved swiftly, wasting no  time in putting out blazes across the city.  Although some were harder than others, at one point Aloy had climbed onto Erends shoulders in order to reach the roof of a house that was ablaze.  Erend had found this most distracting, trying to keep his mind focused on the task at hand and not on the feel of her soft thighs around his face.  
A bucket dropped at his feet "hey Erend the fires out, help me down would you?" he heard Aloy ask.  He held her arms as she moved her legs to get down, holding her so she wouldn't fall, as she stepped onto the ground his hands had found their way to her dainty waistline from the movement.  She turned to him and he suddenly realised how close she was, their noses almost touching, some of her hair had been dislodged and was across her face, he brushed it out the way gently tucking it behind her ear.   
"Thanks" Aloy said, breathlessly.  
"No problem" Erend breathed.  Although whilst Aloy had an excuse to be breathless from the exertion of climbing down off Erend, Erend's breathlessness came solely from having her so close.  But not for long, as all too soon she was gone, organising the line for the next building while he just stood gormlessly for a second, hands still open where they'd been on her waist just a moment ago.  He composed himself and moved towards her again.

"I think I'm gonna need to get up there" Aloy was frowning up at a building.  Even on Erends shoulders she wasn't going to get the water to reach high enough to get to some parts of the fire.  She would have to climb up to it.  
"What? No! Aloy you have no idea how unsteady that building might be from the flames" Erend insisted, fear rising to his throat.  
"Well we can't just leave the fire burning! It will spread and undo all the work we've spent all afternoon doing!" Aloy argued.  She saw Erends worried face "I'll be fine, I know how to handle myself, I've climbed up plenty of dilapidated buildings the old ones left.  One was so high and the way it had broken down, I had to crawl along the outside it was so icy and I-"  She stopped as Erend looked panicked, not the time for stories about how you almost fell off the top of the Faro Industries building Aloy... "And I was fine."  She ended simply.   
Erend opened his mouth to protest, but Aloy put a hand up, touching it to his lips, then moved it to cup his face as she looked into his eyes "I'll be fine.  It makes more sense I go Erend, I'm small and I don't weigh much, I won't put too much pressure on the building unlike the other guardsmen."  
"She's right captain" Kiln said.  Erend glared at him although he too knew Aloy was indeed right.    
Aloy was tying a rope around her waist, the end of it she gave to Erend, "Here.  Then if you get worried you can just pull me back."    
"OK"   
"I need to climb on your shoulders again"   
Erend knelt down so she could get onto him, slowly lifting himself so she didn't fall.  Once he was standing, Aloy reached out grabbing the ledge of the roof of the building she hauled herself on to it.  it was smokey and hot, she turned around to face the people below her, "Well I need a bucket guys" she grinned at their absentmindedness.   
Clutching the bucket she made her way gingerly across the burnt out roof finding places to balance the bucket before she jumped onto beams and ledges.  With every step Erends heart thumped, ringing loud in his hears he watched with baited breath.  She reached the fire, thankfully one carefully poured bucked seemed to do the trick, the last of the fires was out! The people cheered, but not Erend, he wouldn't celebrate until Aloy was off that building in one piece. 

She began to make her way back across the building the way she came, but as she sidled along a ledge she heard a creak, she stopped, below her a support beam was groaning threatening to give out.  Shit thought Aloy, maybe if I'm quick... She moved to continue along the ledge, but no, the beam slid from under the ledge sending the ledge, and Aloy plummeting.  Aloy screamed from the shock of it despite herself, she heard Erend yell her name and felt him tug on the rope, but that would do little else than drag her along the floor of the burnt out building at this stage.  Everything almost seemed to slow down, although she knew it happened within seconds.  She felt the rope go slack, he too had realised pulling the rope wouldn't help her, she could hear shouting and footsteps running, she could hear the scream coming from her own lips, although the sound embarrassed  her, it's just because it took me by surprise she told herself.  She braced herself for impact with the floor, but, it didn't come, instead she landed on something soft, wait, not something... some _one_ Erend.  The force of her falling into his arms sent them both falling to the ground, but he'd broken her fall by catching her, so this did nothing to harm them, except for the embarrassment of finding themselves in a heap on the floor together. 

"Erend! Oh god, sorry are you ok?" Aloy was untangling herself from him apologising profusely for having fallen on top of him.  
Erend grunted, sitting up beside her he looked at her and chuckled "Aloy its ok.  You were right, you don't weigh much" he said with a slight wink, "you didn't hurt me, are you ok though?" he looked at her, playfulness gone and eyes full of concern as he reached out to her.   
"I'm fine, thanks to you" Aloy blushed "I can't believe you managed to catch me" She said softly.  
"Come on Aloy, I would never let you fall." 

* * *

 

Erend watched her move back across the ledge, his stomach felt uneasy, it was as if he just knew something bad was going to happen.  He just wanted to tug on the rope and whisk her back into his arms, safe.  But he knew she wouldn't appreciate that, so all he could do was watch as she slowly moved across the ledge, then stopped.  Why had she stopped?  Was something wrong?  Then he heard it, the creak of the building.  Fuck! He knew something was going to happen! He tugged on the rope just as the ledge fell beneath Aloy's feet, shit, this wouldn't work now she was already falling.  He heard her scream, the fear in it piercing his heart like a dagger, he called out to her   
"Aloy!" then under his breath "don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you" as he ran into the building without a second thought, he didn't think he'd ever moved so fast in his life.  But it paid off and much to his own surprise he caught her, although the force sent him toppling backwards, landing on the floor with her on top of him... this was not how he had imagined having her on top of him.  Typical, although still not entirely unpleasant, he could happily stay like this, but Aloy was already moving to get up, apologising and asking if he was ok.  Silly Aloy, would take more than a skinny Nora girl falling on him to hurt him!   
"I can't believe you managed to catch me" she said.  
"Come on Aloy," he replied, looking into her eyes "I would never let you fall."

Never.    
So long as he was around, he would never let her hurt.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was setting, the vanguard had moved the rubble out the way to pull Erend and Aloy out of the wreckage.  They found them sitting together in the wreckage, Erend picking stray bits of debris out of Aloys hair. The vanguards grinned, "Want us to just put this debris back boss, give you two some space?" Kiln joked.  
"You watch your mouth!" Erend shot at him defensively, rising to his feet and lunging at the man.  
Aloys cheeks were on fire, for the first time today she was glad to be covered in grime, hopefully this meant they couldn't see her red face at the jokes being made at her and Erends expense.  Was it such an odd thing for a friend to have been doing?  She didn't know, she'd never had friends before. 

They clambered out the wreckage, the civilians who had gathered to help them attend to the fires had dispersed, it was just Aloy and the Vanguard.    
"We're going for drinks," Erend piped up "You should come. Celebrate with us, we did just win a war" he reminded her as Aloy had looked around at the chaos in the city wondering what on earth she was supposed to be celebrating.   
"Oh, I suppose we did, but there's still so much to do..." she uttered helplessly.  
"Aloy" Erend reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder "There is still much to do, but it can't all be done right away. Night is falling, we can't hope to get much of this done in the dark.  Come have a drink, then we can start again tomorrow."   
She knew he was right.  The parts of the city that needed attention right now were also the parts that had been plunged into darkness as their lanterns had been destroyed, without any light source they couldn't hope to much until morning.  Defeated she agreed to meet them for a drink, but only after she had cleaned herself up a little. 

"Let me walk you back to Olins" Erend said placing his arm lightly around her.  She liked the feel of it there, wishing it was tighter.  As they made their way towards Olins they found themselves seeming to go deeper into the parts of the city that had suffered substantial damage making finding a way to the house challenging and rather hazardous in the darkening light.   
"Ouch!" Aloy hissed, jumping as something snagged her leg ripping her leggings, but as she jumped backwards from it she almost tripped over another rock.  
"Woah!" Erend reached out steadying her "This is silly." He stated in a rather authoritarian manner "Look, my place is further towards the palace, nearer the centre where the city is less... damaged.  Why don't you just come back to mine tonight? You can wash and change there." He offered it up as a simple solution to their current predicament, but the thought of being in Erends house made Aloys heart thump loudly and made her feel self conscious.  Was it a good idea? She thought back to the jokes made by the vanguard when they'd found them in the rubble.  Her hesitance and concerned expression must have showed as Erend added "I have a guest bedroom, I'm not trying anything Aloy.  I know you don't want that." He finished bluntly, sounding a little defeated.

Don't I? Aloy wondered.  She wasn't so sure, the defeated tone in Erends voice made her heart hurt and her arms ache to hold him and tell him how wonderful he was.  But instead she just nodded numbly agreeing that he was right, it would take them all evening to get through the rubble to Olins and that was just silly if he had a spare room.  Although mentally she somewhat kicked herself for not making her feelings more clear, not that she knew how to do that when she wasn't really sure what her feelings were.  All she knew is that she felt annoyed with herself for not having mentioned anything about his tone of voice, but she wasn't entirely sure why she was annoyed.  Ugh. Being around other people was so complicated!  Maybe she was just better off as an outcast.

As they made their way towards Erends house, the rubble and debris petered out, and light came back into their lives as they entered an area where there were still working lanterns.  Aloy was able to see Erend once more, and looked over at him.  His face was heavily caked in dirt and ash, small areas blotchy from sweat, and on anyone else it would look alarming, but on Erend... it just looked kind of... thrilling.  She always thought he looked handsome, but the dirt gave him a rugged, manly look that made her tingle.   
Tingle? What was that feeling? She sighed, exasperated at all these new and confusing feelings.

"Are you ok?" Erend asked, breaking the silence.  She realised she'd sighed and so obviously he had heard it.  Great, now she had to find a plausible excuse for her sigh.   
"Oh, yeah, just tired." She smiled back at him  
"We're nearly there" he smiled back.

He wasn't wrong. Well, I mean why would he be? They were going to  _his_ house.  It was a rather lavish house, that didn't really suit him, situated in a rather upper class seeming area of the city, and as he had mentioned previously, it was quite close to the palace.   
" ** _This_** is your house?" Aloy gaped.  Erend just grunted in response.  "Its  **HUGE**! How can one person need all this space!" She marvelled.   
Erend scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly, "Well uh... it wasn't just me who lived here, until recently."   
Aloy wheeled round to look at him, Erend had a lover? A wife even?  _No idiot, he means Ersa!_ "Of course" Aloy mumbled, "Sorry Erend, I'm being insensitive again."   
"No! No not at all! I forget, your a nora savage, used to your mud huts and caves" he teased.   
Aloy laughed "Yup! That's me! I'll need that bath too wash off all this grandeur!" She joined in the joke.  
Erend gave her a playful shove towards some stairs, "Come on then savage, your room for the night is up here - do they have stairs in nora land?"  
"No, no what are  _Ster-airs_?" Aloy said deliberately over-pronouncing the word as though it was new to her, she reached the bottom of the stairs and stood there looking confused.  "Well how do these things work!" She said sarcastically, looking perplexed.  "I'm not sure I know how to get up here Er-AHH" She screamed in shock and delight as Erend picked her up, carrying her up the stairs as she giggled.  He kept on carrying her, even once they reached the top of the stairs, he carried her all the way down the hallway into a room at the end and plopped her on the bed before turning to light a lamp beside it.  
Aloy looked around, the room was quite big, and every bit as lavish as downstairs had been.  The bed was large, and made out of sturdy dark wood.  In the corner was a table and chair, and in front of her was another door, Erend saw her looking;  
"There's a bathroom through there" he informed her.  
Odd place to put a bathroom she thought, inside someones bedroom, what if someone needed to use it in the night? Wouldn't they wake the person up? As thought he could read her mind Erend answered her questions, chuckling to himself, "This is a private bathroom, for this room specifically. There's another bathroom downstairs."  
Aloys eyes were wide **_two_** bathrooms, in  ** _one_** house!? And that's if that was all, wasn't this just the guest bedroom? Why wouldn't Erend want the bathroom near his own room?  
"You have the guests stay in the bedroom with the bathroom? I'd have thought you'd want that room" she wondered aloud.  
"Not guests, just you." Erend replied.    
What she was his first guest? Surely the captain of the vanguard had guests more often that that! Again, it was as though he read her mind, really she supposed she was just letting her expressions get the best of her.  
"This is my room, Aloy." He summed up for her, "Its nicer than the guest bedroom, and obviously, has its own bathroom so... I thought you'd appreciate its privacy."  
Aloy hugged him.  Breathing in his scent, which again, after a long day fighting and rushing over the city putting out fires, he probably shouldn't smell so appealing.  But he did and she just wanted to breath in the musky smell of him.  She guessed that would probably be weird though and stopped herself.  
"Thank you, Erend."  
"No problem." He muttered into her hair.

* * *

He left her to have her bath, only popping back in to place some fresh clothes on the bed for her, guessing she wouldn't want to put her grubby armour back on after her wash.  He could hear her in the bath in the room adjacent and tried not to think of how she was so close, naked.   _NO! Bad Erend._    
He quickly retreated, going to the other bathroom to freshen himself up.

He waited downstairs for her, sitting on a sofa.  He too had changed out of his usual oseram armour and into soft carja silks, a light tunic and leggings with sandals.  It was common clothing in the desert, and he had given similar clothing to Aloy, hoping she wouldn't mind. The clothes were nothing particularly special, so he wasn't expecting, or prepared for, the sight of Aloy when she came down the stairs.    
Her hair was still wet, glistening from the bath.  The top he had given her, Ersas, was a little big, so she had tied it up, knotting it at her side exposing her lean taut abdomen.  Her lithe legs fit the leggings ok though, although he noticed she had placed her own belt around her hips just incase.  Something about seeing her, without her usual armour just made her look so achingly beautiful, and... small.  Was she always that small? Erend wondered.  She looked tiny without her weapons and armour.  And not just in height.  He noted that her frame, whilst muscular and no doubt strong, was small skinny.  He felt like if he put his hand to her waist he could almost cover it! Although he was probably exaggerating.  Boy did he want to test that out though.

Her voice shook him from his thoughts.  
"Erend? Are you ok? Your kinda staring" Aloy was saying.  Her cheeks were flushed. _Well done dumbass, you've made her feel self conscious now!_  
"Y..yeah, I..I'm fine" he stuttered, "You just... you look...umm" his hand went up to scratch the back of his neck again "You look lovely." He concluded simply.   _That's an understatement!_    
"Oh, thanks" Aloy grinned, and they made their way to the bar.

* * *

Aloy wasn't used to seeing Erend in normal clothes, ie: without armour.  She decided she liked it.  His shirt had an open neck and she could just peak down at his chest a little, a small smattering of dark hair peeking through it.  When she first saw it she couldn't help but want to run her hands through it, which was an interesting thought.    
She had always assumed that most of Erends bulk came from his armour, but now without it and dressed only in a thin top she noted that wasn't the case.  He just was bulky, muscular, and oh how she wanted to feel them.

The bar erupted into shouts and hollers as they entered.  The rest of the vanguard were already there, some still in the battle worn armour.  Civilians were there too, and as they entered they all clapped and cheered, Aloy blushed crimson and Erend took her hand, holding their joined hands aloft for a few moments before shouting over the crowd;

  
"OK OK" He grinned and held his other hand up in a motion that requested their silence, "Thanks, really not necessary though." He said as he steered himself and Aloy towards the bar.

As they reached the bar, a rather good looking Carja women greeted them.  Well greeted Erend, who was clearly a regular.   
"Ah Erend your usual?" she smiled at him, and winked.  The way she looked at him made Aloys stomach churn.   
"Two please Jacinta." Erend smiled back at her, Aloy shot a small glance his way, so he was on a first name basis with this woman, the revelation did nothing to stop the churning sick feeling in her stomach.  She tried to force a smile to the woman, but was surprised to find her almost glaring back at her, Erend was oblivious though, watching Aloy instead.

Jacinta handed them their mugs of ale.  Eyes trained on Erend, smiling at him.  
"Thanks Jacinta" Erend smiled at her warmly.  Aloy really didn't like how friendly he was with this woman, "Here" he gave one of the mugs to Aloy.  As they made their way to sit with the rest of the vanguard a thought appeared to strike him "Here have you ever had ale before?" he asked Aloy, she shook her head.  Erend frowned.   
"Is that bad?" Aloy asked.  
Erend laughed at her question "no no! I just, didn't think of it.  Ale is quite bitter alcohol. You may have preferred mead."   
Aloy shrugged, "I'm sure its fine" she said, taking a confident swig, and trying to muffle a gasped cough.  Erend and the rest of the vanguard laughed at her causing her cheeks to turn red.    
"Shall I go get you some mead?" Erend spluttered at her through his laughter.  Aloy frowned.  
"Not at all. It just surprised me, but its not  _that_ bad" Aloy lied.  To her it was like drinking medicinal herbs! How could Erend and his men stand to drink this stuff so much?

Erend eyed Aloy suspiciously, sure she was just pretending to like the ale in front of him and the vanguard.  Beside her Aloy felt Erend move and get up, returning to the bar, Aloy looked over at his mug, it was still full, why would he be going back so soon?  She peered over, seeing him chatting to that carja barmaid.  Conversation seemed to flow easily between them, and as she watched Jacinta threw her head back laughing at something Erend had said, causing Erend to smile.  Aloy squinted her eyes at the women, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something fake about her laughter, as though she was just putting it on for Erends benefit, so he would like her.  Much to her dismay Aloy feared it was working as she saw Erend smiling at the woman, looking her up and down.  Aloy squirmed in her seat.  She didn't like Jacinta she decided.  She didn't really know why, she supposed she looked nice enough, and was very pretty, slender with tanned skin, and dark eyes and hair.  And right now those dark eyes were fixed squarely on Erend, and Aloy could almost feel the heat of the fire behind them as she looked at him.  She was  ** _not_** being coy about how she felt about the oseram soldier in front of her.  _Unlike you._ Aloy scorned at herself.  She found herself feeling very self conscious about herself and the way she looked, comparing her awfully pale skin to Jacintas bronzed sun-kissed looks, Aloy tugged at her damp hair, sure it looked a mess she glanced back over at Jacinta, whose hair was adorned with machine parts and sparkling jewels of some kind, it was elaborately styled, she looked like she had put a lot of time and effort into her appearance making Aloy feel even more inadequate.  She imagined Erend with Jacinta, as much as she didn't want to, she felt a tug in her chest as she realised they would make a rather good looking couple.  The thought made her want to drink the disgusting beverage in front of her, she took a few long swigs despite the taste.

"Hey.  Careful with that! It will go straight to your head if you aren't careful."   
Aloy looked over to the sound of the voice, "Thanks Kiln.  I'm sure I can handle it though" she gave him a sly wink.  Why had she done that?  She didn't wink at people! That was weird.  Erend was still talking to Jacinta,  _maybe this is what he actually likes... not the drinking, **her**_.  The thought make her take a few more swigs of her ale.  This was not the celebratory night she'd expected.

* * *

Jacinta took extra care over her appearance that evening before her shift at the bar, certain that the vanguard would be in that night, which meant Erend would be in.  She'd got to know him quite well as he'd drunk himself to oblivion almost after the death of his sister.  She'd tried to help, offer herself as someone to talk to.  He'd been reluctant at first, but as she kept on at him day after day, not intrusively, just friendly, genuine concern.  Eventually he'd begun to chat to her a bit. Telling her about his sister, about his life working for the king.  How he was now captain of the kings vanguard although he wasn't sure he could fill his sisters shoes.    
Jacinta thought he was great.  OK she hadn't known Ersa much, seen her in the bar sure but hadn't really spoken to her.  She was sure Erend made a brilliant captain, and in the months following Ersa's death she had seen him grow into his role as captain and it suited him well.  The rest of the vanguard clearly respected him, and tales of his heroic acts were known across the kingdom.  How he helped bring down the Mad Sun-King, how he helped the Nora during the massacre at the proving and now he'd ended the war with the Eclipse, taken back the city from the jaws of rabid machines.  She shuddered with pleasure at the thought of him. 

She had not long started her shift when the door opened, and there he was, the whole bar erupted in clapping and cheers, and usually Jacinta would join in, but her attention had been drawn to a girl by Erends side.  Who was she? Small with vibrant red hair she was blushing at the praise from the bar, but Erend grabbed her hand lifting them in the air, Jacinta sucked in a breath.  Why was he holding her hand? She didn't look Oseram, definitely wasn't Carja, who was this girl?  Then in the back of her mind a name nagged... Aloy, the Nora girl who survived the proving, the girl who had helped him find his sister, the girl who seemed to get a lot of the credit for what she felt was Erends hard work.  No doubt their King would say the victory of the war against the eclipse was down to her too.  Jacinta scowled.  Why was he holding hands with a simple nora savage?   
She watched as he guided her towards the bar, painting on a warm smile to greet him "Your usual Erend?" She smiled, getting a mug ready for his ale, feeling like she had been punched when he requested two, looking at Aloy with what could only be described as a mix of pining and adoration.  Her eyes flicked to the girl who was looking at her.  She couldn't read her but she felt like the nora was judging her and scowled a little.  Who was she to judge her?!   
She passed Erend the drinks, he thanked her but never took his eyes off Aloy as they made their way to the table where the rest of his vanguard sat.  Jacinta leaned on the bar moodily.  Watching as he chatted with Aloy and she took a drink, then coughed.  Jacinta snorted, this girl was no match for Erend, she can't even handle one small sip of ale! Jacinta longed to join the table, show Erend that she could keep up with the vanguards drinking.  She heard Erends laughter filling the room, he had such a lovely deep laugh.  

As she noticed Erend getting up  she straightened, not wanting to give away her sour mood, sure it wouldn't be attractive.  He came back up to the bar, still chuckling a little.  Jacinta joined his amusement, pretending to be oblivious and raising an eyebrow.   
"A mead please Jacinta" he chuckled.  
"Mead? That's unusual" she remarked  
"Its not for me silly, its for Aloy.  She clearly doesn't like ale, but the girls too proud to admit that." He told her, his eyes flicking back to look at her fondly.   
"Aloy, I thought it was her.  I didn't realise she was still around"   
"Yeah, she decided to stay and help in Meridian.  She's nice like that."  
_Lots of people are nice, Erend._ Jacinta found herself thinking.  
"That is nice" She said instead.  
"Besides, not much fun to be had in nora land" Erend joked.  
She laughed, throwing her head back, before realising that was probably a bit much.  She was just feeling so... in competition with this nora girl right now.  She had to let him see she appreciated him, his jokes...

* * *

Erend regarded Jacinta as she laughed, throwing her head back.  He smiled, he liked Jacinta, and appreciated that she enjoyed his jokes and company.  But really? It wasn't  _that_ funny.  But then, it was no secret she liked him.  In another life he may have liked her too, he looked at her, eyes flicking down her body, she was very pretty, but she wasn't Aloy.  Since he'd met Aloy, at the proving all that time ago, he'd felt smitten.  He was quite popular in Meridian as captain of the vanguard, and previously to that just being a member of the vanguard was enough to get him some luck with ladies.   Now as captain he was more popular than ever, but he hadn't wanted to be with anyone since meeting Aloy. 

He took the mead from Jacinta and walked back to their table.  Surprised to see Aloy had almost finished her ale when he got back.   
"I uhh, I got you some mead...." He said sitting back down next to Aloy.  She drained the rest of her ale before turning to him;  
"I told you ale was fine, but thanks" she said putting a hand on his knee that sent shivers up his spine.  She took the mead and sampled some, she clearly expected it to be horrible, and Erend grinned at her as she scrunched up her face then as the sweet honeyed liquid entered her mouth a look of surprise took over.  "Ok... maybe this is better than ale" she said.   
Erend smirked "I may not be that smart, but I know drink"   
"I think you're smart" Aloy told him.   
"Sure after you've had an entire mug of ale - you probably think Kiln is smart too!"   
"Hey! Don't bring me into this!"  
"Noooo!" Aloy said "wait.." she turned to Kiln "I don't mean I don't think you're smart, I mean its not because of the ale that I think he is" she said indicating to Erend.   
"Seriously... I want no part of this..." Kiln turned to talk to the other vanguard, leaving them to it.   
"That's weird." Aloy said, she turned to him, putting her hands on his face, "I always thought you were smart.  You were smart enough to be suspicious about Ersa.  You're smart enough to lead the vanguard. You should stop putting yourself down." 

Erend marvelled at the feeling of her hands on his face, he moved his own to cup hers.  Moving her hands off his face, but still holding them.  Oh how he wished it wasn't the alcohol talking. But Aloy was clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol.  He realised it was probably the first time she'd had alcohol.  He hadn't thought of that.   
"Thank you Aloy, I'll keep that in mind."   
Aloy seemed happy with this response, and went back to her mead. 

The night passed in a blur of laughter and stories.  Although he noticed that Jacinta kept glancing their way, clearly looking jealous of Aloy, what surprised him was Aloy seemed to be keeping an eye on her too, and his heart soared as he wondered if it was because she felt threatened by the barmaid, but he soon dismissed that thought, thinking it was more likely to be a response to Jacinta looking at her all the time. 

* * *

The alcohol was making her feel warm and her head feel fuzzy.  She kept touching Erend, she'd always wanted to touch him but now she just did it without thinking. It was weird, but good.  He felt as hard and muscly as she thought he would, but still soft and she felt as though she just wanted to press herself against him.  However she was still aware that the barmaid kept looking at him, and her, glaring, jealous of her ability to touch him.  Aloy was starting to get annoyed.  Her annoyance must have shown on her face as Erend tugged at her arm,  
"Come on, lets go"   
Aloy guessed that was a good idea, after all she wanted to be up early to help in the city.  She made to stand, swaying slightly as she did, then feeling Erends arm around her steadying her and guiding her out of the bar.  

Along the way home he kept his arm around her, which she was thankful for as it had become quite cold that night, and she was suddenly aware she wasn't wearing much.  She also found she had seemingly lost the ability to walk properly, stumbling over her own feet as they walked.  She could see Erend grinning beside her.  She nudged him, "Hey" she pouted.    
"Sorry Aloy" Erend did look genuinely apologetic.  Were his eyes always so blue? As she looked into them a shiver went down her spine, Erend mistaking it for cold pulled her a bit closer to him.  She wasn't going to complain about that though. 

When they got home, Erend instructed Aloy to sit on the sofa while he got her some water.  "You'll thank me later" he told her.   
"Thanks, I think?" She told him as he handed her a mug of water.  "That was a nice evening, we should do that again" Aloy said as she sipped the water.   
Erend appeared to murmer an agreement.  Sitting back on the sofa, arms splayed resting on the back, leaving the expanse of his chest open, she put down her water, moving towards him, she placed her hands on his chest, feeling his taut abdomen under her hands, wishing she could feel his skin, but would that be too forward? She looked up at his face, saw his eyes looking at her with confusion.  His lips moved, but she didn't hear what he said, focused only on how soft and welcoming they appeared.  She move towards him, wanting to press her own lips against his, his hands reached out taking her shoulders and stopped her.  
"Aloy.  You're drunk.  Drink your water" he told her, shortly. 

The rejection stung, searing through her.  He didn't want her.   
"S..sorry" she mumbled, and she grabbed her water, "I..I'll, umm... see you in the morning" she stuttered, and she sped off heading upstairs.  She heard him calling her name, but she wouldn't turn back.  She couldn't let him see the tears already forming.  She didn't even know why they were.  Her head was a mix of emotions.  Some time alone might be good right now she thought.

* * *

Her hands were on his chest.  Oh how he had dreamed of this moment, but her eyes were unfocused, a reminder of the alcohol pumping through her blood.   
"Aloy? Are you ok?" He asked her, she was looking at him now, but he didn't think she heard him.  Her face came towards him, by the sun was she going to kiss me? Every fibre of his being cried out to kiss her, hold her, feel her body against his.  But no.  Not like this.  He knew if he gave in, and then come morning she regretted her actions, it would kill him more than if he stopped her now.    
He took her shoulders, stopping her decent into him.   
"Aloy.  You're drunk.  Drink your water."  It came out more curt than he had meant.  But only because it was so difficult to be telling her no after months of yearning for her.

Hurt flashed across her face as she collected her water, stammering an apology and moving to leave.  Fuck.  He never wanted to see her hurt, much less be the one to cause it.    
"Aloy wait-" he called after her, but she was gone.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned out longer than expected! :O


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ermergerd Bacon!

Aloy woke up groggy, her head felt sore.  She groaned, before starting at the comfy mattress beneath her and the wide expanse of the bed.  Olins bed wasn’t this big… wearily she opened her eyes taking in the room, ok, not at Olins she decided.  So where..? Ah yes. Erend.  She’d gone back to Erends, and this was _his_ room.    
Feeling better she sat up, noticing the door across the room from her - the bathroom! She remembered, perhaps she'd feel better if she had a wash.  She padded over to the bathroom, filling a small basin with cold water, she drank some thirstily then splashed some over her face and neck, the chill jolted her awake, clearing her head a little.  It was still sore, but no so bad.  Maybe she had some herbs left she could take.  She wandered over to her medicine pouch, not much left in there she'd need to go on a medicine run, especially with the war having just ended, no doubt there were many wounded, medicine would be in high demand.  Her stomach grumbled, but she gagged as her body protested the bitter taste, she forced it down anyway knowing it would help in the long run.  
Looking around she pondered what to wear.  Her armour could use a wash still,  if she could get to Olins she had other sets, for now she decided it may be better to put on the carja silks from last night, but she hoisted the weapon packs off her armour, just incase. 

She made her way downstairs where she could smell the sweet aromas of baking bread and roasting boar from Erend cooking.  Her hunger reared up again, and she moved quicker down the stairs towards... oh wait, where was she going now? By the sun this house was huge, if it were any bigger, you'd have to set up camp before getting to the bedroom!  Following the smells and noise of Erend clattering around in the kitchen, she found him in a small room, adorned with shelving and cupboards for storage.  There was a long worktop and a table and some chairs.  Erend was stood by an object Aloy hadn't really seen before, he was using it to cook, she came to the conclusion that it must be a stove, she had heard of them on her travels. 

Erend was so engrossed in cooking, he hadn't heard Aloy enter, he jumped when she spoke;  
"What you cooking?" Aloy said with a playful grin, laughing at him as he jumped in shock.   
"Aloy!" he spun round, finding her sat at the table, legs stretched looking at him with a teasing grin on her face, "I didn't hear you come down... I'm making breakfast.  How are you feeling?" he asked her.  
"Fine" came the response, causing him to eye her suspiciously, "Really Erend you're so distrusting! My head is a bit sore, but I've taken some herbs. Now I'm just hungry so I hope that breakfast is ready soon!"   
Erend laughed "Why yes of course mi'lady!" he said, bowing, taking pleasure in the sound of her laughter.  He loved making her laugh, the sound of it made him feel warm inside.  
"Stop mucking around and get on with it" Aloy teased  
"Ooooo sorry mi'lady"   
Aloy rolled her eyes, "Is there anything I can help with?" she asked, although it looked like he had everything under control, but she hated to just sit here and wait to be served, it made Erends joking around seem too close to the truth.   
"Nah, its pretty much ready" Erend told her "although, you could get some plates at cutlery" he gestured towards a cupboard and a draw below it.  Happy to help Aloy lept up and gathered some plates, mugs and cutlery for the both of them, she also filled the mugs with water, gulping down a large amount of hers before refilling it, suddenly more thirsty than she'd realised.  Erend watched her, raising an eyebrow.  "Yeah, you're totally fine." He said sarcastically, prompting Aloy to poke him with a knife handle, which in turn made Erend fake being grievously wounded.  

Aloy grinned, she liked this jokey back-and-forth repertoire she had with him.  It made her feel at home around him, relaxed, like she didn't have to worry about what he was thinking, she could just be herself, not worrying and stumbling over her words, scared of sounding silly, or accidentally causing offence.  
Erend plated up the food, and together they sat down to eat.  Aloy watched him curiously as he sliced his bread and made a sandwich from the meat.    
"What? Don't you nora have bacon sandwiches?" Erend asked, seeing her curious gaze.   
Aloy shook her head "No." she said simply, causing Erends eyes to widen in shock,   
"Fuckin' savages" he said shaking his head "Try it! Your gonna love it."  
So Aloy did, copying him, she bit into it, then closed her eyes and moaned with pleasure, "mmmm oh your right that is good." Erend blushed a little as he thought about how much he'd like to hear her moan like that again, but under extremely different circumstances than this.    
They ate in companionable silence, broken only once Aloy had finished and she asked him about getting to Olins  
"Can't wait to be away from me already eh?" He said joking, but in the back of his mind he knew it was only half a joke masking what was a true concern.  
"Not at all.  But I have armour there, and I thought I'd go medicine hunting.  I figure we'll need a fair bit of it.  I don't really want to go herb picking without armour... Just incase..."   
Erend didn't really want her going off out into the desert wearing those lovely carja silks either.  A machine could easily tear her to pieces in those, or if she came across some bandits... He shuddered at the thought, lets not go down that route of thinking!   
"I hadn't even considered that." Erend said, "This is why your the smart one! Yes we'll find a way to Olins.  Perhaps we can get there around the back of the city" he pondered aloud "I was thinking of heading into the centre, Kiln and some of the other vanguards have set up a kinda base there, people can come ask for help, ask for information about missing family, come for first aid, that sort of thing. Try and localise the assistance so we aren't all running around the entire city searching for people to help."  
"That was a great idea!" Aloy said as Erend nodded. "So do you think we could find a way to Olins from the centre?" She asked  
"Maybe, guess we'll see." He drank his water and headed off to change into his armour.

* * *

They're arrival at the centre of the city was met with some whistling and general ribbing from the vanguards who noticed them walking up together.  Prompting Aloy to blush furiously once more and Erend to become defensive.    
"Don't you sorry saps have work to be doing?" he growled at his men.   
"Oooooo" they retorted mockingly, laughing as they went back to their stations.   
Erend turned to Aloy, "Sorry about them, they don't mean anything by it" he explained.   
"Oh I know, I'm just, not used to it is all" 

Together they began setting up some more tents and shelters, Erend suggested they could find a way to Olins around lunchtime, when they would need to take a break anyway to get food.  They spent the morning helping, bandaging wounds, handing out food and water, offering shade from the baking desert sun.  And despite being busy, Erend still found himself stealing glances at Aloy, watching her as she tended to people, noting the way her hair glowed in the sunlight, the way her eyes shone with concern as she talked to people about their suffering.  He also noticed the way some of the other men around took notice of her now she was out of her armour and back into the carja silks that showed off her body.  He didn't like the way some of them were looking at her, as though she were a piece of meat.  

Then, the crowd starting to part, people gasping and muttering.  Erend looked around for the cause of the commotion, he glanced at Aloy who was slowly rising to her feet from her crouched position, she looked over at him too, shooting him a quizzical look, but he was just as confused as she was. She walked over to him.   
"Whats happening?" She asked.  
"No idea"   
Soon their questions were answered as the crowds parted and Sun-King Avad stepped towards them, smiling he opened his arms "Aloy, Erend! I hoped I'd find you here." He greeted them warmly.  
"Avad, what are you doing here?" Aloy asked, shocked, taking the words right out of Erends mouth.   
"I was looking for you, Aloy" came the response, his dark eyes trained on hers making Erend feel like he was intruding. "Blameless Marad went to Olins but you weren't there.  I was concerned so I came to find you myself."   
"Oh, yeah I stayed at Erends last night" Aloy said simply, the king looked shocked, possibly even hurt, his eyes flitted between them.  Erend jumped in to rectify the situation since Aloy obviously didn't understand the implication of what she had just said.   
"We found the way back to Olins blocked with rubble, I suggested she stay with me as I have a spare room and it would be easier to get to my house" Erend explained.   
Avad relaxed a little.  Although he still didn't like that she had slept in someone elses home.   
"I see, thank you Erend." The Sun-King turned his gaze and attention back to Aloy, "Aloy, do you think we could perhaps go for a walk, I have much I wish to discuss with you."  
Erend didn't like the way Avad looked at Aloy either.  It wasn't like the other men here, letching at her like she was a piece of meat, it was softer, more...adoring?  He supposed it was the same way  _he_ looked at her, which is probably why he hated that Avad shared that same look.  It meant Avad felt for Aloy the same way he did.  And how the fuck was he going to win Aloys heart when he had to battle against the fucking Sun-King for it!? He was torn from his thoughts by the sound of her voice;  
"Erend? Will you be ok if I leave for a while?" She was asking him permission? He almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it.  The king had just asked her on a date and she was asking for his permission as if he could say no!   
"We'll be fine, you go"

He watched, with a heavy heart as she walked off with Avad, who placed an arm around her.  Erend couldn't help but feel, he'd lost her.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Avad knew just where he wanted to take Aloy, around the southern more lower parts of the city where it stretched into the jungle like oasis.  He wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible for their discussions, and thought that the comfort of surrounding trees and vegetation would help relax her and make her feel more at home than the harsh expanse of the desert sands.  As he watched her walking beside him, he knew he had been correct, causing him to smile to himself.

He had last seen her straight after the battle ended, and had been concerned when the Nora tribesman had confidently assumed Aloy would be returning with them.  Despite his relief he had been a little annoyed to discover that even though she was staying in Meridian, she had not come to inform him of this decision.  Although as he dwelled on that thought more, he realised she had no obligation to tell him.  He discovered it from one of his guards who had been out helping around the city and seen her sending off the Nora.  He felt incredibly blessed that she was staying. 

Worry had coursed through him this morning however, when Blameless Marad had returned and told him Aloy was no where to be seen at Olins and the bed lay unslept in.  For a moment he had been sure she had doubled back on her decision to stay in Meridian and gone to be with the Nora, but he batted the thought away, telling himself she had probably got caught up in helping people and either not slept, or ended up camping somewhere.  He admired that about her, she had such a big heart, always eager to help people, even to a fault.  
He decided then, that she was too much of an importance to have guards chasing after her for him.  If he wanted her,  _he_ should be the one to go and find her, she would appreciate that he thought.

He found her exactly where he expected her to be once he had heard that the vanguard had set up a miriad of tents and help stations in the centre of the city.  If Aloy would be anywhere in Meridian, she'd be at the epicentre of where she could do the most good, help the most people.  As he approached the crowd thinned to let him through, people whispering to each other, shocked at his presence among them, some reached out to him, and so he stopped to greet them, and offer condolences for lives lost and livelihoods shattered, assuring his people that he would help as much as he could to help them rebuild their lives.  He didn't dwell long though, there would be time yet for assurances to his people, now he wanted,  no  _needed_ to speak to Aloy. 

As the crowd further depleted, he saw her, standing next to Erend, both of them looking somewhat confused about the behaviour of the people around them, their faces changing to realisation as they saw him.  The site of Aloy almost took his breath away, expecting to see her in her usual array of armour, he was instead greeted by the site of her wearing normal civilian carja silks, the tunic of which she had tied into a knot at her waist.  Her hair glittered in the sunlight, she would make such a beautiful and adept queen. 

"Avad what are you doing here?" She asked him.   
"I was looking for you, Aloy" he responded, looking into her eyes,  "Blameless Marad went to Olins but you weren't there.  I was concerned so I came to find you myself."   
"Oh, yeah I stayed at Erends last night"  
She said it so nonchalantly he wondered for a second if he had misheard her, his heart sped up, blood rushing in his ears, was there something between Aloy and Erend? He knew they spent a lot of time together, but he figured that was just business.  His eyes flitted between them.    
"We found the way back to Olins blocked with rubble, I suggested she stay with me as I have a spare room and it would be easier to get to my house" Erend explained.   
Avads let out a breath.  There was an innocent explanation, of course!  He had let emotions run away with him there, a common theme he was noticing whenever she was in his thoughts.  
"I see, thank you Erend." The Sun-King turned his gaze and attention back to Aloy, "Aloy, do you think we could perhaps go for a walk, I have much I wish to discuss with you."  
In the corner of his eye, he could see that this request annoyed Erend somewhat, he put this down to there being much work to be done, and so he decided he would try not to keep Aloy from the relief effort too long.  
"Erend? Will you be ok if I leave for a while?" Aloy was asking the captain, who looked bewildered at her concern, but that was Aloy all over.  Always thinking of other people, the impact things would have on those around her, such as now: How would her leaving impact the captain and his vanguards relief efforts since they would be a man down?  But this was exactly why Avad needed to talk her. 

As Erend grunted an agreement that she should go, he smiled at his captain, "You should stop by the palace later Erend, update me on things" the king requested.  Erend nodded, and happy with the response, Avad put his arm around Aloy, steering her away.  He wasn't sure why he put his arm around her, but after the emotional rollercoaster he'd just been on thinking she had slept with Erend he had felt a wave of possessiveness surge through him.  He wanted people to know, she was his, or at least, he hoped she'd be.

* * *

Aloy looked out across the Oasis from the balcony they stood on, it was a beautiful view, she glanced at Avad, noticing that he seemed only interested in looking at her.  This made her blush,   
"So why have you brought me here?"   
"So defensive Aloy!" Avad laughed, teasing her slightly, "I just wanted to talk with you, and is this not a lovely spot? I thought you would appreciate the flora, more like home than desert sands yes?" he smiled warmly at her, hand reaching to touch her arm, rubbing it slightly.  
This was true.  She never did much like the sand and desert.  Whilst she liked Meridian, that was one  _serious_ drawback.   
"I do appreciate it, thank you." She nodded to him politely.  But she wished he would get to the point.  So she could get back to helping Erend and the vanguard.   
"I've taken the liberty of getting some food brought up for us, so you could eat then be free to return to the centre to help... I understand you are probably irritated I have taken you away" he winked at her.  
Aloy laughed a little, well he certainly was starting to get to know her better.  Although the thought of eating with him made it seem like this chat wasn't going to be as quick as she hoped. 

As if on cue a carja women came onto the balcony, carrying a tray filled with fruits, nuts and smoked meats.  So much food, just for them?  Aloy frowned a little, all this for them, when people lay starving in the city amongst the ruins of their homes.  She knew Avad always meant well, tried his best for his people, but at the same time, the decadence of royalty blinded him to reality sometimes.  Sitting in his palace he was so removed from the day to day lives of his people and the city. 

"What's wrong?" Avad was close to her, looking at her with concern filling his dark brown eyes.  He was a very beautiful man, could you call men beautiful? Well, even if you couldn't, Aloy decided that is what he was. Her eyes flitted down to his bare chest, what did this man have against shirts anyway?  She noted that his chest really  _was_ bare, unlike Erends which, if the tufts of hair seen protruding from his shirt last night were anything to go by, was not.  She found herself wondering what  _both_ the mens chests felt like, what difference it made.  Would she like the soft smooth feel of Avads hairless, less muscular chest, or Erends bulky rough one? She felt herself blushing at the thought, and realised Avad was still waiting for an answer. 

"S-sorry... was in a world of my own there, for a moment" she stuttered, Avad grinned at her,   
"I noticed" he said softly, "So, shall we eat?" He gestured to the food, left on  a table with two chairs drawn up face to face.   
"Its a lot of food for two people..." she glanced at Avad who was looking at her, with something of admiration in his face, why did he always admire her so for stating the obvious?   
"You are right, as always Aloy.  My guess is they wanted to ensure we had a choice.  But I feel  _you_ are more concerned with the potential wastefulness, given the current distress of the city?" he looked at her as he took a handful of grapes his eyes stared into hers as he awaited a response.   
Aloy was surprised he had guessed her concerns about the food so astutely.  Although on some level she wondered why she was surprised. Avad was a good and dutiful king, he may forget due to the nature of him being so far removed from the daily lives of 'normal' citizens, but he was good at recognising this downfall of his, when it was pointed out. 

"Yes.  So many with their lives in tatters, along with their homes, possessions.  They have nothing now.  And not even any shards to buy food."   
Avad nodded, thoughtfully, "I see.  Well - when you return, you may take this with you, and I will arrange to have more sent to the vanguard in the centre,  _much more._ " He wasn't smiling at her anymore, but instead looking at her with concentration etched across his face, it was unnerving.   "You see Aloy, this is why I need you around." He was smiling again, but his tone was serious.  
"Well good thing I'm staying in Meridian then" Aloy joked, eating some meat.  
"Yes about that.  Aloy..." He sighed, looking as though he was trying to find the words, "Why don't you stay with me, at the palace" he blurted out.  Alright, come straight out with it then, Aloy thought.

"Why?" Aloy narrowed her eyes, suspicious, "I have a place, Olin isn't needing his house, and hopefully we will have the rubble cleared away as soon as possible, why do I need to stay at the palace?" She asked him.   
"You don't  _need_ to of course.  But I  _want_ you to Aloy" he was looking into her eyes again, his hand found her own, squeezing it "I want  _you_  Aloy"   
No, not this again.  She thought they'd been through this, and she felt she had been more than clear in her assertion that she wasn't anyones replacement, even too a handsome Sun-King.  
"Avad I-" He cut her off, noticing the tone of her voice, knowing where this was going, 

"Aloy wait.  Before you respond.  I know we spoke of this before, but I have had time to dwell on that, time to grieve, time to move on.  And through all that, you were never far from my thoughts.  I hoped and wished to see you almost everyday, hear your voice.  I prayed something would bring you back to Meridian - of course I never meant something like  _this!_  Aloy you are, unique and beautiful, you challenge me with every talk we have, force me to evaluate the way in which I rule, and I love that, I welcome it.  You make me a better King, and a better person.  I would be honoured to have you by my side, as Queen, and Meridian would revel in it I am sure." 

Throughout his little speech, he had kept his eyes on her, conveying the truth and seriousness in his words.  Showing her that he was opening up to her, laying himself bare before her.  Aloy didn't know what to say, Avad was handsome, there was no denying it, and now she was aware he would welcome it, she let her mind wander to how it would feel to kiss him, how his arms would feel around her.  But as she did, her thoughts also found their way back to Erend, interrupting any daydream she had about Avad.  It was as though Avad would always turn into Erend in the end, and she wasn't sure what that meant.  She also wasn't sure what it meant to be queen.  Hell, she wasn't even sure what it meant to be a citizen, or part of a tribe, let alone  _lead_ a tribe, or at least help to lead one.  Was she really ready for that?  Avad was watching her, again waiting for a response, but aware that what he had just proposed to her, was no small measure.  If she accepted her whole life would change.  Would she even still be able to hunt? To travel? She still wanted,  _needed_ to go find Elizabets old house, see if she made it home before the swarm caught her.  Could she do that if she was queen? Or, going to be queen? So many questions, her eyes met Avads.  Well he was here, and he was the only one who could answer them.

* * *

He listened to her concerns patiently, answering her questions, attempting to soothe her worries.  Of course he would still let her hunt, he knew she was more than capable of looking after herself.  Although, the ability to come and go for weeks at a time would be lost.    
They seemed to talk for hours, once they ate their fill, Avad summoned his worker back and requested the food be taken to the vangaurds at the city centre, along with more.  He and Aloy still had much to discuss, he doubted she would make it back to them that day.  For which he was sorry for, as her help was always second to none, but if this worked out in his favour, and she became Meridians Queen, then they would have her help forever. 

As the day began to draw to a close and the sun began to set, the air around them grew colder, he saw Aloy was shivering slightly, he drew his arms around her, rubbing her back, a shiver going up his spine as he felt the smooth skin of her back.    
"Come on, your getting cold, lets go inside." He pulled her gently away from the edge of the balcony she had been looking out across the Oasis from, gently pulling her back towards the palace behind them, as they walked in Aloy looked around noticing she was in the palace she seemed surprised, Avad realised they had entered the palace from the back, where it looked, less like the palace, more like a normal home. 

They walked together, his arm around her waist, towards the throne room, he knew Erend and other guards would probably be waiting to report to him about the city.  He wished he could put it off, and talk with Aloy more, but it seemed he would need to give her some space to digest the information she had received and come to a decision.  As they got to the throne room he stopped, turning Aloy to face him, "Aloy... as much as I do not wish our time to come to an end," he reached out a hand and tangled it into her hair, stroking it, marvelling at its silky softness around his fingers "I have business to attend to, and I do not wish to rush your decision at all. I want you to get there at your own pace." He stroked her cheek with his other hand, moving from the silky expanse of her hair, down her back pulling her closer to him he bent his head bring his face close to hers so they were almost touching.

"But, until then..." in a fluid movement, one hand still tenderly cupping her face, he kissed her, savouring the feel of her soft lips on his, elated as she kissed back, and for a few moments they were locked together and it was as though there was no one else in the world but them, unable to resist, he deepened the kiss, kissing harder, pressing her against him.  But then she was pushing him away her hands on his chest.  
He look at her, searching her eyes for answers as to why she had pushed him away.

"Avad I... I think I know my answer" she said, looking at him, but the tone in her voice was unmistakable, this wasn't going to be answer he had hoped for.

* * *

Erend made his way up to the palace, he was tired, and grumpy.  He wasn't entirely sure what the cause of sour mood was, well, he tried to tell himself that anyway, but he knew it was because Aloy had never returned from her walk with the Sun-King, and he had a sinking feeling he would see her there with him at the palace when he gave his report. Probably sitting with him.  
The thought of them together made his stomach churn, and his emotions cry out.  On the one hand, he hated Avad and the thought of Avad having Aloy made him want to punch the king square in the face.  But on the other, he knew Avad was a good man, a good King.  After all he had helped Avad take down his father.  He knew Avad would cherish Aloy and take good care of her, and if Aloy wasn't going to be with him, then at least he knew if she was with Avad she would have a good life, and be given the devotion she deserved.    
He also knew he wanted Aloy to be happy, and if she wanted to be with Avad, and that would make her happy, who was he to stop her?  

 _Oh Aloy,_ he wondered to himself,  _you have no idea how you drive me to brink of insanity..._

He found himself at the palace gates, he'd been so lost in thought he'd barely noticed where he was walking.  He nodded at the guards, who let him through, and began to climb the stairs to the throne room.  Blameless Marad was not around, so as he reached the room, with no one to tell him to wait or go in, he decided just to go in, wanting the day to be done with.  
He immediately regretted this decision as he walked in, his heart almost stopped, his breath caught in his chest, he felt as though he wanted to be sick.  

Aloy was pressed against Avad, as he kissed her, and much to Erends horror and crushing disappointment  ** _she was kissing him back_**.  Tears threatened to fall, so he closed his eyes, turning on his heel and rushing out the room.  He left the palace behind, storming away.  The guards on the way out seemed to call to him, confused at his quick visit, and sudden exit, but he ignored them, charging forward.  He needed a drink.  Or several. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

The Sun-King kissed her, taking her by surprise, she usually didn't like surprises much but this one was quite nice, and she found herself kissing him back.  She hadn't expected kissing to feel so good, and there was no denying Avad was good at it.  But as the moment wore on she found herself wishing it wasn't Avad kissing her, found herself wondering what Erends lips felt like.  She felt Avad draw her closer, deepening the kiss, Aloy shuddered slightly, but only because she was thinking of Erend.  And at that moment, she knew.  She knew her answer to Avads questions, and she thought maybe she knew, or understood, all the weird feelings she had surrounding the vanguard captain.  

Gently she placed her hands on Avads chest, pushing him away from her.  
"Avad I... I think I know my answer" she said sadly, knowing she was about to hurt him unwillingly.  The king looked at her with sadness, he could already tell by her tone the answer was not the one he hoped.  "I can't be your queen Avad" Aloy said simply.   
Avad stood for a moment, as if mulling over what to say, eventually he spoke; "Well. I didn't think my kissing was that bad" he gave a shaky chuckle, clearly not really in the mood for joking, but trying to lighten the mood, make her feel less bad.  He was always so diplomatic.   
Aloy smiled sadly at him, "No, it wasn't. It was lovely" she said, at this Avad snaked an arm around her waist once more,  
"Then why? Give it a chance Aloy, please" he was looking intently into her eyes.  She shook her head.  "Is it because I am king? The responsibilities of becoming queen?" He asked her.  Again Aloy shook her head sadly, words failing her, she looked at the floor, unable to look at him, but his hand found her chin, lifting her head and he looked at her "I don't understand, please?" His eyes shone with hurt and the need for an explanation for her refusal. She sighed.

"I don't want to hurt you more" Aloy told him, certain that telling him the reason she didn't want to be with him was because she wanted to be with the captain of his vanguard wasn't exactly going to make him feel any better, if anything she felt sure it would only make him feel worse.   
"I don't think you could." Avad told her, she winced at his words, "Sorry, I didn't mean that as harsh as it sounded, I just.. want to understand.  Maybe help you, you seem... troubled." He was looking at her with concern, which only made Aloy feel even worse  about the fact that she was breaking his heart. She took a deep breath.

"Well, I'm not really entirely sure... I'm new to all this.  You know I grew up an outcast, I'm not used to being around people at all, let alone so intimately.  And I've been struggling with that, a little-"  
"Aloy you should have told me, I would've.."  
"Please, just let me finish" she begged him, he motioned for her to continue, she took a moment to gather her thoughts again. "For the most part, its been ok, I've enjoyed being in the company of people for the first time, having people around to help if I needed"  _not that I ever really do_ she thought, "But what I wasn't prepared for was this" she motioned around her "and its not just you" she said, trying to reassure him.    
He laughed a little "I'm sure its not" he muttered.  
"When I first met Erend, at the proving, he flirted with me, outrageously."  
"That sounds like Erend" the King said with a smile.  
"And then Varl has expressed, interest... I just, the man who brought me up, Rost, he never really covered this kinda thing, he wasn't really much for feelings and emotion.  Besides he was too busy training me to be the huntress you see before you.  So when people, such as yourself, began to show interest like this I wasn't really sure how to react, and I certainly wasn't ready to know how to deal with it when  _ **I**_ began to also have feelings..."  
The king looked at her, his interest seems peaked, as though he was wondering, if she had feelings, why did she turn him away?  
"But I think I understand now, a little.  Possibly" she gave a defeated sigh "I don't know."

Avad reached out taking her hands "tell me.  About the feelings.  Let me help you, Aloy."   
She looked at him, he looked as thought he did genuinely want to help her, and she felt as though maybe she  _did_ need it now.  I mean she had just said that it was nice to have people around to get help from if needed, she had meant in a fighting capacity, but help is help wasn't it? And this was what she needed help with.   
"Well, for long a time, I just figured it was how you felt about people you care about, just generally.  I mean, I'd have felt almost the same if Rost was in danger.  But, recently, I feel there's been more to it, I find myself looking at him, differently.  Thinking about him often.  My mind just wanders, and it always ends up at him."  She knew she was smiling now, talking about Erend made her feel warm and fuzzy.  Again, another new feeling.  Avad was still holding her hands, listening intently.   
"When he's around, I feel better, safer, comfortable.  I'm not really sure where I belong right now, but he mentioned maybe it was here and I thought it was a bit silly at first but... when I look at him it doesn't seem so stupid."  She looked at Avad, straight in the eyes "that's why I knew when we were kissing... my mind just wandered to him, how would kissing  _him_ feel? How much I wanted to find out, I didn't think it was fair to you that I was thinking of someone else.  I'm sorry."

Avad rubbed his thumbs over her hands, they stood in silence for a while.  He seemed to be thinking over what she'd just confessed.  Finally he spoke, just one  word, "Who?"   
Aloy regarded him, she wasn't sure if she should tell him or not, but she wondered if he had already guessed.   
"Erend." He nodded, he had guessed. They fell into mutual silence once more, but the period was shorter this time before he spoke.  
"Aloy, you are, beautiful and amazing, and you don't need to apologise to me.  Perhaps I was too hasty, too quick to forget your harsh upbringing and how that might have affected your social growth, because you never seem out of place amongst the people, they like you and you care for them, despite what you have been through.  Which is what makes you so special, what makes me want you, the way you want Erend." Aloy looked at him at his last line, so his feelings for her matched her feelings for Erend... that helped her understand her feelings more.   
The Sun-King continued, "You should find him, go to him, tell him how you feel.  I am certain he feels the same."  He let her hands go, dropping his to his sides with a sigh, he sat down on his thrown, she knew he expected her to leave to find Erend, and she wanted to do just that, but instead she approached him.   
"Will you be ok?" she asked, not only, generally would he be ok from her turning him down, but also, if she went to Erend, would he be ok with that? Avad reached out and stroked her face  
"So long as I know you are happy, and cared for, I will be fine." He murmured. 

Aloy bent down, and gave him one last lingering kiss. "Thank you" she whispered her face close to his.  And she left, rushing out the palace to find Erend.

* * *

Erend walked moodily towards the bar he and Aloy had had drinks in just the night before.  He remembered how she had been touching him, how she had tried to kiss him,  he had recalled that moment so many times in his head today hoping beyond hope it hadn't just been the drink talking.    
_Well, I guess I got my answer now._    
He walked into the inn, taking up a seat at the bar, he lay his head on it with a groan  _how could I be so stupid, what would a girl like her want with me anyway?  It's good she's with Avad, he's better for her anyway._

He felt a hand touch his shoulder, he looked up, Jacinta was looking at him, concern on her face, "Erend? Are you OK? What's happened?"  
Not wishing to discuss the matter he just grunted, "Its nothing, just a bad day is all.  City needs so much repairs, so many wounded..." he hoped that she bought his act that what was upsetting him was the damage to the city and carja people.  He had to stop from emitting a sigh of relief as she nodded sympathetically, pouring him an ale.  
"It must be hard to see things like that" she reached out touching his arm, rubbing it. He gulped from the pint, finishing it swiftly, placing it back on the counter.   
"Yeah..." he agreed.  _But that's not the worst thing I saw today, not by a long shot..._

She refilled his drink, leaving him for a while, Jacinta was good like that, she'd been the same when Ersa had died, kept enough of an eye on him to refill his drinks which let him know she was still there, still available if he wanted to talk, but keeping enough of a distance to give him the space he needed.  She was an excellent barmaid.    
The drunker Erend got, the more he thought about Aloy and Avad, the night was wearing on and he wondered what they would be doing now, a line of thinking he regretted starting down, but now he had started his mind raced with the idea of them in the palace together, maybe even in his bed.  He downed his drink.  Beginning to get angry at them, everyone knew how he felt about Aloy, it was no secret, his men teased him about it all the time much to his dismay.  He just had so many feelings for her he couldn't help but have them spill over into the cold light of day, given this he felt sure the Sun-King must know how he felt too.  

_Yes but Avad likes her too. Likes her like you do, what do you want from him? To just let you have her? Someone as special as Aloy? Don't make me laugh..._

He knew it was ridiculous, so he turned his anger towards Aloy instead.  How could she not know what she did to him? Surely no ones  _that_ oblivious, outcast or not.  And then there was her actions, how her gaze sometimes lingered on his longer than usual, how she sometimes got  _too_ close, and then last night.  He felt led on, like she had tricked him.  Made him believe that there might be a slither of a chance, then just as he truly started to think that, she had whisked it away to shack up with the King.   
And after all these months pining for her.  Growing so lonely with the loss of his sister, and his blossoming feelings for Aloy stopping him from having any kind of romantic trysts.  All he had wanted was her touch, but now he knew that wasn't going to happen his loneliness crept up on him, hitting him hard.

"Come sit with me" a voice said behind him, he turned to see Jacinta who was beckoning over to a table, where 2 mugs of ale laid.  He got up, she turned walking back to the table, and as she walked, he couldn't help but let himself admire her ass.  Jacinta really was quite beautiful in her own way.  Not on the same level as Aloy, but- _No.  I need to stop thinking about Aloy. She's with Avad._  
He sat down at the table across from Jacinta.  For a few moments they sat in silence, regarding each other, not sure what to say, until she broke it.  
"So where are the rest of your men tonight?" she asked him, taking a drink of her ale.  
Erend shrugged, wondering himself now she had brought it up, "I guess maybe they are tired from the days work."  
"And you aren't?" She enquired, dark eyes flashing mischievously.  
"Not _that_ tired" he flirted back.   
"Good to know..." she muttered suggestively.

It felt good to flirt again.  To feel wanted by someone and he looked at her lustfully.  
"Should you be drinking on the job" he teased.  
"My shifts finished" she pointed back towards the bar where a different girl now stood.  "So I thought I'd come and keep you company, you looked like you could use it" she reached out and placed a hand on his, he enjoyed the feel of her touch.  
"Yeah, I could use it, thanks" and he moved his hand to hold hers, smiling at her.  
They finished their drinks and she motioned asking if he wanted another, he nodded, but as she got up and walked away, the sway of her hips intoxicated him... it had been so long, as she reached the bar, placing the empty mugs down, he realised he had gotten up and was walking over to her.  Before he even knew what he was doing he had pushed her against the wall next to bar, his hands on her waist, kissing her.

She let out a squeal of surprise, but then placed one arm on his chest, the other on his side, kissing him back, he took this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss, her mouth opened and he let his tongue explore.  He heard her give a little moan.  
_Well, she has wanted you for a while_ he thought.   
As they kissed he thought he heard the door of the inn opening, but he was too engrossed in Jacinta to care. No one seemed to come in anyway, maybe it was just his imagination.  He broke the kiss despite himself, keeping his face close to hers he asked her breathlessly  
"Wanna get a room?"  
"Oh god yes"

They made their way upstairs to a room, kissing and giggling.  As soon as he got inside he began to unbuckle his armour, once done he rounded on her once more, kissing her hard as his hands roamed her body, now free from restrictions as they were alone.  He let his hands go up to her hair, forgetting all the trinkets she wore in it that stopped him from  running his hands through it,   
_Huh? Since when did Aloy have trinkets in her hair? Maybe the odd braid but... right... this isn't Aloy!_  
Stopping he moved his hands down her back, caressing her spine, she let out a moan, moving away from his lips to kiss at his neck, her hands moving up his shirt to feel over his chest.  He worked to remove her top throwing it aside before he took off his own.  Then he grabbed her, pulling her into him by her ass, then picking her up, she squealed again as he carried her to the bed, almost throwing her upon it.  He removed his boots and trousers, letting his swollen cock spring free.  Jacinta gasped at him.  He was about to get onto the bed with her with she stopped him, placing a hand on his abdomen and kissing the tip of his cock lightly, gauging his reaction.  He closed his eyes, and she continued, letting her mouth slide along the length of his shaft, encouraging him to emit a low groan of pleasure, which seemed to spur her on, her hands moved, one cupping at his ass, the other working the base of his cock as her mouth worked the end, licking and sucking.  It felt like she was trying to suck his cum straight out there and then.  He had to try and pace himself, which was hard given how long it had been since he had been touched, how good she was and how long he'd waited for her.

 _Where did she even learn to do this anyway?_ He couldn't imagine she had had much experience before. In fact he had been sure she was a virgin, but...  _This isn't Aloy! Stop thinking about her!!_  
He opened his eyes, looking down at the girl pleasuring him, Jacinta, he placed a hand on the back of her head, hoping the trinkets in her hair would help keep his mind on  _her_ and off Aloy. 

He moved away from her after a while, not wanting the experience to be over too soon.  He coaxed Jacinta back on the bed so he was lying on top of her, one arm keeping him up so as not to put the full weight of his body onto her.  He kissed her, his hands roaming her body, feeling her breasts, pulling at her hard nipples causing her to moan into the kiss.    
_I wonder if this is what Aloy and Avad are doing_ he wondered, despite himself he couldn't help but think of Avad, same position only he had Aloy beneath him, kissing her, making her moan.  He wondered what she sounded like when she moaned.  He wished he could find out.  As his hands explored Jacinta's body he wondered what Aloys looked like.  Jacintas was sun-kissed, a kind of olive colour, and free any marks or scarring.  It was smooth and silky to touch, he found himself kissing it, losing himself, and jolting when he opened his eyes to the olive skin, expecting to see milky white and having to remind himself yet again that this wasn't Aloy. 

He continued down her body kissing at the top of her trousers, along her waist line and hip bones, Jacinta squirmed in pleasure beneath him.  She kicked off her sandals and he slow teased off her trousers so she was naked under him.  She did look stunning, he ran his hands over the insides of her thighs as he looked down, she opened her legs showing him the slick wetness of her.    
He moved down and lapped it up, her back arched as she moaned, his tongue flicking into her, finding her clit.   
Erend closed his eyes, working his tongue rhythmically over her nub as she moaned and her body shook slightly.  She was oh so wet and he could taste her, it was different than he'd imagined.  Almost like carja oils and perfumes for bathing in. 

 _Yes because its Jacinta you;re sleeping with not Aloy.  You know, Jacinta the Carja!_  

He was getting kinda sick of telling himself that.  As he pleasured her though he still couldn't stop himself thinking of Aloy.  How did she taste? No doubt Avad would waste no time in finding out for  himself.  Erend hoped Avad gave every bit of Aloy the attention she deserved.   
Jacinta bucked beneath him, her hands finding his head, fingers frantically clawing at his mohawk hair.   
"Oh, Erend... please..." she begged, grinning he just continued, knowing what she wanted but making her wait.  It didn't take much longer for him to feel her spasm her back arching as she cried out from the pleasure of her orgasm.   He watched her squirming with pleasure, his hands around her waist.  Slowly she opened her eyes and moved her body, putting her legs around him, drawing him close, her eyes begging him to fuck her.  She whimpered.   
"Erend..." she whined.  He grinned at her, leaning down to kiss her neck as he teased her entrance, Jacinta ground her hips up against him, trying to get him into her faster, her fingernails scraping down his back.

He thrust into her wetness. Moaning loudly alongside her as he did so.  God that felt so good after so long.  Jacinta locked her legs behind him, rolling her hips upwards to meet him with each thrust, trying to push him deeper, her hands roaming his chest.  He looked down at her, she had her eyes closed, moaning with pleasure.  She felt so good against him but as always his mind wondered to Aloy... He would bet everything he owned that she felt a million times better.  He closed his eyes, imagining her, pretending it was her moans of pleasure he could hear, her  hot wetness around his cock.  Emotion surged through him and he wrapped his arms around Jacinta tight, wanting to be closer, needing it.  Despite the fact he was literally inside of her he still didn't feel close enough.    
He bit down on his lip to keep from calling out Aloys name as his cock jerked and relieved itself deep inside Jacinta.  He could feel her contracting around him too.  He continued to hold her close for a while, still not ready to open his eyes and face reality.  She held him back, but he broke off the embrace quicker than he wanted, so as not to draw suspicion from her.  

They collapsed into the bed, side by side. Breathless.  He opened his eyes now, looking at her.  Taking her in.  Jacinta, _not_ Aloy.  Although he did not let it show on his face, not wishing to break apart Jacintas happiness, he felt dead inside.  He almost wanted to cry.  Now it was all over he regretted it.  Jacinta was cuddling into him sleepily, thoroughly content.  Whereas he was far from it.  He laid on his back, one arm around Jacinta as she placed her head on his chest an arm wrapped around his waist as she fell asleep, he stared at the ceiling, thinking of Aloy.  Whispering a thousand apologies to her in his head, even though it was silly, he felt like he had cheated on her, which was ridiculous.  He felt bad for Jacinta too, knowing she would be crushed if she discovered he had been thinking of someone else the entire time.  

_Yep, you've really fucked up this time Erend..._

* * *

Aloy rushed through the city streets. Darkness had set in, and she wasn't sure exactly where she was going.  When Erend had taken her back to his place yesterday they'd been coming from the opposite way, and she was struggling to flip the city in her head to find it.  She felt that was partly due to the dizziness she was feeling.  She was going to tell Erend how she felt, what was she even going to say?  Did he really feel the same?  So many questions!  She felt so nervous, her heart felt like it was beating from in her throat!  She'd never felt this nervous before, not even the day before the battle with hades!  

Finally she turned down a street she recognised, she ran to Erends house, knocking on the door. She waited, smoothing down her hair and clothes.  No answer.  She knocked again, louder, harder.    
"Erend?" she called out, still no response.  That's weird, she double checked... It was definitely this house.  She tried again, banging on the door with her fist and shouting his name.  Nope, nothing.    
_He must be out_ she frowned.  Where would he be at this hour? Of course... a light flicked on in her brain, he's probably at the bar.  At least that would be easier to find since she was coming at it from Erends house the same as yesterday. 

She reached it, taking a deep breath, she hoped he wasn't  _too_ drunk, else it may have to wait until morning.  She also hoped he would let her take him somewhere more private, she didn't really want to declare her feelings for him in front of a whole pub full of people.  Especially if that Jacinta girl was there.  
She took a few more deep breaths, then pushed open the door. 

Her eyes found him immediately, but she wished they hadn't.  She gasped in horror at the sight of him, kissing Jacinta.  He had her pinned against the wall and was kissing her so hungrily as though he'd been wanting to do this for months.  He didn't even seem to hear the pub door open, far too engrossed to hear it, or possibly he did but he didn't care. His hands were all over her too.  Aloy felt sick.  She turned and ran out the pub, she ran and ran.  She wasn't even sure where she was going, she hadn't even realised she was crying as she ran, barging past people until finally she stopped finding herself outside Olins.  She guessed they must have cleared some of the rubble away.  She walked in and began hastily getting her things together.   Then with a pang she remembered some of it was still at Erends... She sat down on the bed, trying to decide whether to just leave it or go and retrieve it.  

She thumped the pillow in frustration, then again and again and again as she dissolved into crying, curling herself up on the bed.  She decided to let herself have a moment before she'd just leave, go back to the sacred lands.  Perhaps she could convince the tribe to let her live in Rosts old house and maybe they wouldn't bother her too much... Hot tears trickled down her face as she mourned for the life she had wanted, with Erend, here in Meridian.  She buried her face in her pillow, howling with misery. 

She wasn't sure how long she stayed like that, crying in the bed, but at some point she fell into a fitful restless slumber, filled with taunting images of Erend and Jacinta, kissing, mocking her, sharing his bed... everytime she'd wake with a start, crying, then would proceed to cry herself back to sleep again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time writing smut :O


	8. Chapter 8

Aloy woke up to the sun streaming in through the bare window, not expecting to stay she hadn't closed the curtains to prevent this, and the bright sunlight on her face made her wince as a sharp pain permeated her head.   For a few moments she wondered why her head hurt so much, then she remembered she had spent almost all night crying,  _that'd do it,_ she thought to herself.  Although it seemed that at some point she had actually gotten some proper sleep, possibly though, that had just made things worse and was the main reason for the sharp searing pain in her head.

She heaved herself out of bed, gasping as the pain worsened from the movement, she slowly made her way to her belongings, packed at the end of the bed, ready to leave.  She looked through them for some medicine, but of course, she had none left, she'd used it all to cure a hangover, brilliant.  She would have to stop by a shop, hope they had some despite the city still being under repair.  She dragged herself over to the window to see if the city was up yet or if she would have to wait.  Below she saw some movement, and not wanting to stay in the city any longer than she had to, Aloy decided to try her luck, if worst came to worst, she could always start the journey and find some on the way.

Gingerly, she changed out of her carja silks, leaving them on the bed.  She would have no use for such clothing back in the Sacred Lands.  She put on her armour, lamenting the loss of the ancient armour she had found, but with Hades defeated she reasoned that she probably wouldn't need it so much anymore, and decided it wasn't worth having to see Erend to get it back.  Her teeth gritted as her mind wandered to Erend, she felt tears prick in her eyes again.

_No. I'm stronger than this.  Stop crying like a silly little girl over it._

She continued to chastise herself as she pulled on some Carja Armour instead, clipping on her belt and weapon packs.  She picked up her spear, leaning on it slightly as she made her way downstairs, she was about to leave when she decided it might be a good idea to drink some water.  Crying had dehydrated her somewhat.  She drank a mug, then filled a pouch for the road.  Taking one last look at the house, she turned to leave.  
The heat hit her as she left the house, it was going to be a hot day in the desert, just what she didn't need.  The sun hurt her eyes, making her squint.  She knew she should probably wait, knew she wasn't in a good shape to be starting a journey across the desert, but this place held too many memories.  She couldn't stay.  Gritting her teeth again, she set off, walking slower than usual, but it was more progress than staying put.

As she got to the outskirts of the city, where traders and travellers were being kept out, she peered around searching for any merchants that might sell some medicine.  In her current state, it had taken her quite some time to get this far, which irritated her.   The sun had climbed quite high in the sky now, and although it wasn't quite noon yet, she guessed they could only be a few hours from it.  The heat was unbearable to her, and combined with the pain in her head she just wanted to collapse, but forced herself to carry on,  _I'll be fine once I have some medicine_ she told herself.  
A merchant beckoned her forward.  He was away from the rest of the camp, either by choice or because the rest of the people there didn't trust him, looking around Aloy couldn't help but think it was perhaps a little bit of both. She stopped, hesitating, why did the rest of the camp not trust this man? 

"You look like you could use some herbs" the merchant called to her, "I have all sorts from all over, I can cure what ails you girl" he almost sang to her, winking in her direction and beckoning her over.  
 _Well, thats not creepy at all._ But her need to get rid of the pain in her head, and perhaps even her heart, overpowered her gnawing inclination that this guy should be avoided.   
She held herself up, and walked over with a confidence she didn't really possess at that moment, but she didn't want to appear weak to this man.   
"I have a searing headache," she informed him "didn't sleep well.  Got anything that can help? I need to start a long journey..."  
The man was eyeing her looking her up and down.  She didn't like it.  She wished he would just give her the herbs and let her be off, she was beginning to feel faint from heat and pain.   
"I may know a recipe" the man said, "I can mix it up for you if you like" he licked his lips, continuing to glance over her body.   
"Fine. But be quick about it." She said, ignoring her senses screaming at her to get as far away from this man as possible.

As he busied himself creating her potion, Aloy turned to look out across the travellers village and the city.  She noticed some of the outer city walls were broken and crumbling, new bricks would have to be made.  Inside she knew the vanguards tents would be full of people needing help, she wished she was a stronger person, so she could help them, instead here she was, running away again...   
Something caught her eye at the entrance to the city where the camp ended.  A soldier had rushed out of the city and was speaking to the two guards, she squinted, holding her hand up to her eyes to see better without the light.  The guards seemed to point in her direction, the soldier turned, not a soldier, a captain.  Erend.   
Quickly she turned to the merchant, "I need to leave.  ** _Now_**."  She rapped her fingers on the wooden bench.  
"Ok ok, so fiesty!" He grinned at her, even his smile was creepy.  He handed her the potion, she threw a handful of shards on the bench, probably far more than this potion was worth but she didn't care, she just needed not to talk to Erend.

Uncorking the potion, she took a huge swig.  
"I'd be careful" the merchant was saying "the potion can leave one feeling a little..."   
His face as blurring before her, darkness was starting to obscure her vision, she felt her knees going weak and her heart hammered, she tried to speak but her mouth didn't really seem to be capable of forming words.    
 _This isn't medicine_ she realised.   _Shit.  
  
_ The merchant was beside her now, his hands on her waist, she wanted to punch him, but her arms just flailed limply.   
"Yes, a little like this" the merchant said.  "Oh dear, Aloy. Not quite such the brave huntress now are we?  Now what's all this about a trip I hear, tut tut, now Avad would be most displeased wouldn't he? His queen running off like that.  Oh don't worry my dear," He must have seen the look of confusion and fear on her face, and reached out and touched her cheek, "we aren't taking you back to him." He laughed, "no no, you've just made this job  _much_ easier" 

Suddenly something hit the man from behind and he began to fall, only, he was holding Aloy so she too began to fall, only to be caught and swept up into strong arms.  
"Aloy?  **Aloy?** "   
She heard Erends voice, but was powerless to speak back.  Limply she just raised a hand to his face, feeling giddy, she opened her mouth to say something, but instead the world just went black as she passed out in his arms.

* * *

He didn't think he would sleep, but as he woke groggily he realised he must have fallen asleep at some point.  For a while he lay listening to the birds and noises of the city, forgetting the events of the night before.  But soon reality came crashing down as someone moved beside him, turning and cuddling into him.  His heart stopped for a moment as he realised there was only one person in the world he'd want to share a bed with, and his heart and mind clashed with the thoughts that it could be her, but most likely wasn't.  An arm looped around his waist, an olive, tanned arm.    
 _Of course it wasn't Aloy.  She's with Avad, you really need to remember this so you don't keep disappointing yourself._

Sighing he looked over at Jacinta, she was still asleep.  Good.  He didn't want to talk to her, didn't want to face up to what he'd done.  He felt like the worst person in the world, knowing he had used her to try and overcome his emotions about Aloy and Avad, and to try and mend his crushing loneliness.  Only as he'd realised, the loneliness didn't come from the need for sex, or even the need for a relationship.  It came from the need for one person, and only one person.  Aloy, he needed Aloy.

_But you can't have her._ He wondered how on earth he was meant to fix this, he couldn't live the rest of his days feeling this way, but also he was right, he couldn't have her, she was with Avad. Happy. She didn't want him so he would need to find a way to move on somehow.   
Moving Jacinta's arm he eased himself out of the bed, not wanting to wake her.  He pulled on his trousers and shirt, then padded out the room, he'd put the rest of his armour on elsewhere.  He knew he was taking the corwards way out, which only served to make himself even less proud of himself, not that he felt any pride in himself at all. 

_How would you have felt if someone treated Ersa this way?  Or Aloy?_ He burned with anger at the thought, but told himself they could handle themselves and that he needed to leave Jacinta anyway, he never had given Avad that report so he supposed he would go now.  Making his way outside he noted the heat, it was like the city had become a giant stove, he hated these days.  As he walked to the palace he thought about what to do.  If he stayed in the city, as captain of the vanguard, he'd be sure to have dealings with both Avad and Aloy daily, he wasn't sure he could bear it, especially if it meant seeing them together.   

_Well that's that then isn't it.  I'll leave, go back to my own clan.  The desert was never really for me anyway_ he reasoned. Besides with hades defeated Aloy seemed to believe the machines would calm down, if that was true, there wasn't really much threat to the kingdom now, the Shadow Carja were all but eliminated too.   _do they even need a vanguard anymore?_

He climbed the steps to the throne room, this time Blameless Marad was there, looking through some papers.    
 _At least I won't be walking in on anything I don't want to see this time_ he thought thankfully.  Although to be fair, he'd probably have just knocked this time.   
"Erend!" Marad looked shocked to see him, "It's very early for a visit isn't it?"  
Erend scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah, sorry, its just I didn't get here to give the king a report yesterday so I thought I better get here sharpish this morning" he said sheepishly.  
Marad eyed him suspiciously "Yes, I heard about that.  I believe the king managed to track down some of the other vangaurds for a report."  
Erend nodded, looking guilty.   
"Yes well, the King is in the throne room.  You can go on in." Marad said, turning back to his papers.

Erend entered, he saw Avad, standing at the balcony looking over the city, deep in thought he hadn't noticed Erend enter.  
Erend looked around, wondering if Aloy was here too, but it was just them.  He coughed to make his presence known, Avad turned, looking surprised to see him, just as Marad had done, why were they so surprised? I get up early, sometimes...  
"Erend! I didn't expect to see you here for a while." The Sun-King told him, with a wry smile, although his eyes looked sad.    
 _That was an odd thing to say, I'm captain of his vanguard, where the hell else would I be but with him!?  
_ "What brings you here Erend?" Avad asked, taking a seat on his throne.  
"Ah, well I was meant to give you a report yesterday, but uhh..." he struggled to find an excuse, not wanting to admit the real reason Avad hadn't got his report, "I erm, got held up." Erend blushed a little.  Glancing at Avad who seemed to be studying him, he couldn't quite place the look on his face, it was one of almost already seeming to know he'd got held up, even though he hadn't, and, was that jealousy? What?   
"Yes, I bet you did" he heard the king mutter under his breath a little curtly,  _what the fuck is going on here!?_ "I took the liberty of getting the reports from Kiln" Avad told him, "So you are free to go back to... whatever it was you were doing..." The sun-king couldn't seem to meet his eyes, Erend was confused. He shifted a little feeling awkward, something was going on here, and it was almost as though he should know what it was, but yet he had no clue.   
"Avad, is there a problem?" He asked the king.  
"No, no.  Everything is fine Erend. Why?" The king did look at him now, brow furrowed.  
"Your acting kinda... odd." Erend told him, "If there's a problem, tell me, I'm your captain"  _for now._  
"I would tell you Erend but there isn't a problem" the king said swiftly, getting up and moving away back towards the balcony again.

Erend regarded him. He seemed so, sad.  It hung around him like an aura, but why? It was starting to make Erend angry,  _How can he be sad! He has Aloy, probably spent the night with her, doesn't he realise how lucky he is? Doesn't he know what he has??_  
Erend let out a long sigh, he couldn't bring up the news that he wished to resign now, not with the king in this mood, "well... if you need me I'll be with the rest of the vanguards in the centre."   
He turned to leave, when Avad suddenly spoke, so soft it was almost a whisper.  He was still looking out across the city, almost as though he couldn't bear to look at Erend.  
"Did she find you?"  
 _What in all the blazing suns was he on about!?_ This is probably from lack of sleep he thought, although the thought made him want to throw up.  
"I'm sorry? Did who find me?" He asked.  Now Avad turned to look at him, brow knitted in a deep furrow, he looked annoyed.  
"Aloy! Did Aloy find you?" He asked, frustration evident in his voice.  
"Uhh, no I guess? I didn't know she was looking for me..." The king cocked his head to the side, he was thinking.   
"This explains a lot" he said whilst Erend just thought _did it?_ "Erend last night I asked Aloy to be my queen."  Erend closed his eyes, he did not want to hear this... "She said no." Erend jolted.  
"W-What?" he spluttered.  
"She turned me down, Erend" the king said, looking at him, eyes sad. _Oh.. this is why he was sad, he's... heartbroken._  Avad sighed, looking like he was thinking again, wondering how to say his next sentence.  "She left the palace last night, she wanted to find you."   
"Me? Why me?" Erend said, thinking aloud.  
"I don't really know" the king said, although Erend didn't really believe him, it looked like he did know but didn't feel it was his place to tell him that.  "You should go find her though, it seemed very important to her that she get to speak to you."   
"Ok, erm, thanks I'll go over right away." He turned to leave, then turned back again, Avad was once again looking out across the city, and now Erend knew it was because he was dwelling on the loss of Aloy, "Avad I... I'm sorry" Erend said.  The King just nodded in response to let him know he had heard.

 

Erend felt bad for Avad, but also his heart was soaring a little, she wasn't with Avad! A smile broke onto his face for the first time since he'd seen her leave with Avad from the tents yesterday.  Despite the heat, he found himself practically running to Olins, although he decided perhaps it was best to go via the vanguard camp in the inner city, incase she was already there, which was highly likely knowing Aloy.  But much to his surprise she wasn't, he found that unsettling, and his mind began to worry for her, he sped up, wanting to get to Olins as fast as he possibly could. 

He knocked hard on the door, "Aloy?" he waited. No answer, this wasn't looking good.  He knocked louder  **"Aloy!?"** he noticed that his fear for her had crept into his voice.  
"Oh she left ages ago..." a wandering guard told him.   
"What?" He spun to face him, fear, concern, worry so many emotions bubbling up inside him.  
"Yeah, saw her leave ooo, about hour ago maybe? Yeah, looked like she was all packed, guess she decided to be with the nora after all" the guard said simply with a shrug, he began walking his route again.

_No, **no**! Why? Why would she leave? Just because she didn't find him? What had happened between her and Avad that was so bad she felt she needed to leave the city?? _ He ran off, hurtling towards the city bridge towards the travellers camp, hoping this was the route she took to get out, it would make sense, it was the quickest route out of the city from here, it also gave her a chance to stock up on some supplies before the journey.  He just hoped he could still catch her, if she really wanted to get away, she could be miles by now. 

"Wait" the guard shouted after him, stopping Erend in his tracks,  _What now? I'm kinda in a hurry!_ "If your looking for her, she didn't look too sharp.  Didn't look like she should be trying to travel in this heat.  She went that way" the guard pointed the way Erend thought she might have gone, towards the travellers village.  But, why didn't she look good? What did that even mean?   
"Thanks" he called back to the guard. Beginning to run once more towards the village.

It didn't take him too long to reach it, and he scanned the area quickly as he walked across the bridge with a purposeful stride.  He stopped as he reached the guards at the end, he stopped, "Have you seen Aloy?" He asked them, then just incase they were idiots who didn't know her name he added "red hair..." the guards instantly pointed, he looked over, not understanding how he could possibly have missed her.  She was at a merchants stall, he seemed to be making her something, she was looking over at them, she turned when she saw him, saying something to the merchant.   
Erend began walking over to her, she was wearing carja armour, light to prevent overheating in the desert, but still sturdy enough to be protective, although it did show a lot of skin, he realised that was partly because she hadn't put on any leggings, wearing only the armoured skirt.  He wondered why, before realising that she had left some clothing at his place from when she had stayed there. 

_What has her leaving in such a hurry she doesn't even come to collect her things from me?_ He frowned. The armour she'd left there had been her best armour.  Some tech she had found in some old ruins she had told him.   _Why would she leave her best armour behind?_ It was all very confusing, and concerning.  
He watched her, she was drinking the potion, but the merchant was sneering, Erend didn't trust him, he went to shout out to warn her to stop when he saw it was already too late, the merchant was making his way to her, placing his hands on her waist, anger burned in Erends chest at the other mans hands on her.  He saw Aloy seemed to be going limp.  Whatever he had given her, this clearly wasn't the desired effect as she flailed for her weapons, but seemed too weak to do anything.   
Not wanting to alert the man, who could easily escape with Aloy at this point, Erend moved to the side, during his time searching for Ersa, Erend had learned a lot from Aloy about sneaking and hiding, he made his way around Aloy and the Merchant, he could hear the merchant talking to her.

"Oh dear, Aloy. Not quite such the brave huntress now are we?  Now what's all this about a trip I hear, tut tut, now Avad would be most displeased wouldn't he? His queen running off like that."    
 _Avad? What did he have to do with this?_ Erends mind was going so fast, frantically trying to process what he had heard.  Avad wouldn't do this to Aloy out of spite for turning him down would he?  _No. You know better than that Erend, besides, this merchant still thinks Aloy is future queen, but she turned Avad down, clearly they don't know what yet.  
_ No this seemed more a plot to gain leverage on Avad, and Aloy was the leverage. This only served to make Erend angrier. How dare they? Didn't they know who she was? How she had saved them all!? Bastards!   
He was behind them now, and he moved forward swiftly, bringing his hammer down on the merchants head without thinking,  _he's holding Aloy, he's going to fall on top of her..._ not on his watch, he moved round like a flash, pulling her out and away from the merchant, holding her in his arms.  He looked down at her, her eyes were unfocused, sweat on her brow.  "Aloy?  **Aloy??** " he wasn't sure she heard him, until she limply put a hand to his face, she looked like she wanted to say something to him, but her head rolled back and she passed out.  He shifted her, so her head would rest against him instead of hanging back uncomfortably.  
Other guards had rushed to him upon seeing the commotion. 

"Search him" Erend barked, nodding at the unconscious merchant, "and someone stopper that potion, pass it here," a civilian onlooker grabbed it for him, "thank you.  Tell Avad what's happened.  And tell him, if he needs me, or wants to see her, we'll be at my place."

And with that he left swiftly.   Cradling Aloy in his arms. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one because I'm bored and have time :P

Avad was pouring over some papers with Marad, the process was taking much longer than anticipated due to his wandering mind.    
 _Why hadn't Aloy found Erend last night? What had happened?  Was she OK?_  
As if summoned by his thoughts on Aloy, a guard burst into the room causing Marad and Avad to spin round in shock at the crashing entrance.  Marad raised an eyebrow, clearly unamused at the rude interuption, but Avads eyes widened in shock  _what now?_ he thought.

"Sire, there's been some trouble in the travellers village" the guard informed him.  
"There's always trouble in the travellers village, that's why they are out there and not within the city walls" Marad said lazily, rolling his eyes.   
Avad looked at the guard perplexed, Marad was correct, trouble often occured in the village, why did this guard believe this was so important?   
"It's Aloy-" the guard started, immediately silenced in shock as the king swept closer in one swift motion, his eyes searched the guard.  
"What? What about Aloy, what happened" he urged.  
"She was on her way out the city, she stopped by a merchant, he gave her some potion and she just... collapsed.  Erend took her, went back to his place..." the guard petered off, as if concerned he would get in trouble for not having prevented Erend from taking Aloy. 

Avad didn't know what to think.  So many questions about this entire odd scenario ran through his head;  
 _Why had she been leaving the city?  Where was she going? Who was the merchant? Why would they hurt her? What had he given her?  
_ His mind was a mess.  So many questions, adding to the ones about the previous night that had already built up.  Mixed in with the pang of hurt he felt that she was at Erends now, instead of in the palace.

Blameless Marad was at his side, a comforting hand on his shoulder, he knew how he felt about Aloy, "I will gather our best healers and guards, then we can make haste to see her."   
Avad just nodded, finding himself weak from the worry he sank into his throne, head in his hands. 

* * *

Erend carried Aloy all the way back to his house, which was a rather long trek from the travellers village.  He didn't mind though, if anything he savoured the weight of her body in his arms, although he wished it was under more pleasant circumstances of course.    
As he came upon his street, he realised his predicament.  How was he going to unlock and open the door, whilst holding Aloy, he didn't really want to lay her on the ground.  He stood for a moment, trying to think of a solution, when the door a couple of houses down opened and a lavishly dressed carja women appeared, "Is everything ok?" she asked, she regarded him and then the unconscious girl in his arms "clearly not... can I help?" she asked walking over.  
"Errr, yes, actually.  I don't want to put her down, could you get my key off the chain and open my door?" Erend asked, blushing slightly at the request for the women to have to fiddle with the keychain that was attached to his hip.  But the lady seemed unfazed by his request, she simply nodded and did as requested, holding the door wide for Erend to pass through.   
"Thank you" he said to the women, looking her in the eyes to show how much he meant it.  
"Don't mention it" she said, and she left, pulling the door closed behind her.

Erend took Aloy up the stairs, remembering with a pang their antics of just 2 days ago where he'd jokingly carried her up the stairs after she had pretended not to know how to climb them.  He'd give anything to hear her laugh now, but she remained silent, slumped against him.   
Gently he placed her in his bed, removing her weapons and belt, then after slight hesitation, he removed her boots and headdress too. The rest he would have to leave, given she wasn't wearing any undershirt or leggings.  He refrained from pulling the furs over her, the day was hot, and as he felt her brow, so was she, he didn't want to overheat her.

He made his way towards the bathroom where he filled a basin with cold water, coming back to the bedroom he found a cloth and dampened it, placing the cool rag to her forehead, then as an after thought, using it to wipe over the rest of her face, he stopped as he brushed over her cheeks, looking at her eyes.  They looked red and swollen, like she had been crying  **a lot** , he felt emotion tug at his heart, why had she been crying, and so much.  He had never seen or known Aloy to cry, she didn't seem the type, so what could possibly have hurt her so much?   
Softly he brushed the cloth over her cheeks, before moving it away, and rubbing over them with his thumb.  She looked so peaceful there, like she was sleeping.  She was so beautiful to him. 

A loud knock at the door burst him from his reverie.  Hastily he put down the basin, rushing down to the door.  As he suspected it was Avad, alongside Blameless Marad, and 2 healers.  Avad looked wild with worry, he placed his hands on Erends shoulders, "Where is she? Is she OK?"   
Erend moved to let them in, "she's upstairs, she's unconscious still..." Erend ran a hand through his hair, not really knowing how to answer the king as to whether Aloy was ok or not as he himself didn't really know the answer.  I mean, she was a alive... which was about as OK as you got after being poisoned. 

Avad was already making his way up the stairs, Erend frowned a little, but didn't say anything, he knew Avad must be worried sick, the two healers followed, leaving Erend and Marad to bring up the rear.  They entered his bedroom, the king was kneeling beside her, hand on her face, stroking her cheek the way Erend had been just moments ago, his actions showing that his feelings mirrored Erends in how he felt about the girl before him.  One of the healers put a hand to Avads shoulder, gently coaxing him away so they could check her over.  Reluctantly Avad moved to let them work, as he moved he noticed her weapons and bags, he turned to Erend.  
"She was leaving?" It was a question, but also somewhat a statement, as the weapons and gear made it obvious she had been leaving.  
Erend grunted in response.  Avad looked at him, his face stern, "Why was she going? What happened?"   
"I could ask you the same thing!" Erend rounded on the king, "I've not spoken to her since she left with you yesterday from the vanguards tents in the city! Then suddenly she's leaving Meridian and ends up poisoned!  Why do you act like this has anything to do with  _me_!?" His voice was louder than he meant it.  Avad looked surprised to be being yelled at by his captain. For a moment he just stood there, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to find the words to say.   
"I... I sent you to find her this morning... I just..." Avad usually knew what to say, gifted with words, but right now they appeared to be failing him.   
"I only just found her as she was speaking to that merchant, I was walking towards her when she drank the potion he gave.  She collapsed almost instantly, the merchant is with guards, I suppose they will have taken him to the prison.  He won't be speaking anytime soon though."  Avad nodded in understanding.  They stood in silence, watching the healers. 

"She's quite sick, but I do not think this poison was designed to kill.  Just, render the victim unconscious" one of the healers said.    
Erend thought back to the incident, recalling what the merchant had said to Aloy about Avad, "The merchant said something about how you wouldn't be happy she was running away, but said he wasn't taking her back to you" he told Avad, "I think, perhaps they believe you two were together and he wanted to use her as some leverage for something."   
Avad looked aghast at the thought that Aloy had been hurt because of him, but it sadly did not surprise him either.  "You may be correct.  But who?"   
Erend shrugged, "he just looked like a normal travelling merchant, if he was with some organisation or tribe, I couldn't tell."  He suddenly remembered, he had the potion still in his pocket, he dug it out passing it over to the healers "here, I collected what he gave her.  Incase..." he trailed off, but everyone knew what he meant.  Incase they needed to make an anti-dote.   
The healers examined it for a while, however the conclusion they reached was much the same as before, Aloy was in no immediate danger, she was sick and would probably sleep for a while, all they could do was wait for the toxin to leave her system.  

"Perhaps she would be better off at the palace" Avad said "the healers can keep an eye on her, and she'd be safe, with guards to monitor her."  
"She'd be safe here" Erend growled "I'll keep an eye on her."  Avad made to argue, "Do you think she'd want to be at the palace? After last night?" He asked Avad.  It was a low blow and he knew it.  But he was angry at how intimate the king was acting towards Aloy, despite the fact that Aloy had turned him down, he didn't like how Avad didn't appear to be respecting her decision.  He was also angry that Aloy being ill was potentially his fault, although deep down he knew that even if this was a plot to use her against him, that still didn't really make it Avads fault.  Even deeper down he knew he was just angry that something had happened about Aloy that somehow seemed to involve him, and Avad knew, but wasn't telling him.  He understood it was because he felt it was Aloys place to tell him, but that still didn't help that Avad knew something he didn't concerning Aloy and himself.  He also knew he was still angry that Avad had kissed her.    
He was just... angry.  In general. 

He looked at the King, who looked hurt by his words, as though someone had slapped him, "I... you're right.  I will leave a guard outside your house for now though Erend. Just incase." Avad took one last lingering gaze at Aloy, then swept out of the room.  Marad and the 2 healers followed, one of them saying they would stop by later, and in the morning to check on Aloy.  Then it was just him and Aloy again. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

He hadn't really left the seat by her bedside for the whole day, the only time he had was to gather some food he could snack on whilst keeping vigil.  He changed out of his armour, into carja silks to keep cool from the sweltering desert heat bombarding the city that day, he only wished he could offer Aloy the same comfort, but undressing her would be a step too far he felt.  Instead he tried to keep her cool by bathing her face, and at the hotter points of the day he rested the damp cloth on her stomach too.  Throughout all this she barely stirred. 

He sighed, "I wish you'd wake up" he told her, "I'm going out of my mind wondering what you wanted to speak to me about last night... then why you were leaving this morning." He spoke softly, gently caressing her hair.  He also wished she would wake up for more selfish reasons, so he could talk to her and keep his mind off the awkward conversation he was going to have to have with Jacinta at some point in his future, and how he was going to have to apologise to King Avad.  Erend felt terrible, what was it with him treating people like shit these days?  He needed to get a hold on his emotions. 

As the day gave way into the evening, the temperature began to plummet.  Such is the life in the desert, she was a fickle mistress.  Burning you hot in the day then like ice at night sometimes.  The sharp changes in the temperature making it seem colder, or hotter than it really was.    
He pulled a light fur over Aloy, not fully, just to below her chest, it was still quite warm for now.  He wondered if the temperature change might wake her, but she showed no sign of stirring just yet.  
The healer would be back soon, he wondered if Avad would also come, he was torn as to whether that would be good or not.  A knock at the door permeated his thoughts,  _must be the healer, guess I'll find out about Avad now._  He thought as he went to answer the door.  It was just the one healer who greeted him, she was alone.

"Come in" Erend held the door open for her, "Avad..-"  
"He decided it would be best if he didn't come." She interrupted him, "well.  Marad thought it best he didn't come.  But I doubt he can keep him away tomorrow." The healer said it like a warning.  
"I expected him tonight" Erend shrugged "She hasn't changed, still just sleeping" Erend informed her as they made their way up the stairs.  
"I thought as much.  I didn't think there would be much change today." She looked over Aloy again, checking her temperature, pulse, breathing.  "She seems fine, relatively speaking.  But I would hope for her to start waking tomorrow.  Perhaps groggily, confused... but not unconscious.  I'll be back first thing in the morning anyway.  We can assess what to do for her then."  
She made to leave, before pausing, turning to see Erend had sat back down beside Aloy, stroking her hair.  The healer moved back over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, he looked at her,  
"Don't forget to look after yourself too, Erend." She said it kindly, with a hint of concern.  He nodded at her, and she left, making her own way down the stairs and out of the house.

As he suspected as the night drew in the temperature plummeted, he wrapped Aloy in his furs, but as the night wore on he noticed her shivering.  He did the only thing he could think of and climbed into the bed beside her, wrapping her in his arms using his body to warm her.  After a while it seemed to work and she stopped shivering, but he stayed, trailing a hand up and down her back.  His heart ached for her, and he thought he might cry from the cruel irony of being so physically close, but so emotionally far from her.  
The night went on, and he found himself quite tired, at first he was surprised but then realised it had been a long day, and he hadn't slept very well the night before either.  He fought against his want to sleep, not wanting to be asleep if Aloy woke or needed anything, but eventually he succumbed, Aloy still in his arms, her head on his shoulder he fell asleep breathing in the smell of her hair.

* * *

 Avad was up at the crack of dawn, he had barely slept a wink with worry over Aloy, racking his mind for who would do such a thing.  As soon as the first light of the day shone through his windows he jumped out of bed, dressing fast and sweeping off to his throne room.  He didn't even bother with breakfast, he just wanted to see Aloy.    
He paced the room, wondering whether to go and fetch Marad and the healers himself,  _by the sun where are they? Don't they know how important this is?_ Avad had to calm himself, of course they did. 

After what seemed like days, but was probably only an hour or two they came into the room.   
"Sire you must eat something before we leave, the staff tell me you didn't arrive for breakfast." Marad sounded concerned.  
"I cannot eat at a time like this!" Avad snapped, he immediately felt bad and added, "I will eat when we return, please. I just need to see her."   
Marad nodded in understanding, and the three of them left for Erends.

There was still a guard posted outside his house, who greeted them as they arrived.  They knocked on the door, no answer, that's odd.  They knocked harder, still nothing.  
"What's happened?" Avad demanded of the guard.  
"Nothing, I've been here since dawn, and the previous guard said it had been quiet all night" the guard sounded shocked they weren't getting an answer, he fumbled in his pocket "here I have a key." He opened the door and went in, Avad following right behind although Marad protested "Sire it might be dangerous, what if something has happened?" He implored.  
"That's exactly why I need to be going in" came his swift reply.   
Avad and the guard climbed the stairs, while Marad and the healer waited downstairs.  The house was quiet, and nothing seemed out of place, there were no signs of a struggle or fighting, everything was calm, except the furious beating of his own heart.

The guard entered the bedroom, then quickly backed out again, looking embarrassed.   
"What is it?  What's wrong??" Avad asked, making to enter the room himself, the guard stopped him.  
"Maybe you should just, come back later your highness." The guard said.  But this only served to make Avad more curious, and concerned so he pushed past the guard into the room. 

He closed his eyes, his heart breaking at the sight of Erend and Aloy curled up together.  He knew this is what was undoubtedly going to happen, this is what he had sent her away to do after all, but seeing it before him still stung.  Movement caused him to open his eyes again, Erend was stirring, woken no doubt by the small scuffle between Avad and the guard, then the feel of eyes on him.   
When he saw Avad he blushed, jumping out the bed, "Avad, I didn't hear you knock, sorry I..." his eyes went back to Aloy and the look of sadness on the kings face, "she was cold.. I...-"   
Avad held up his hand, cutting him off, "You don't need to explain yourself to me Erend.  Its OK.  Besides cold, how is she?" Avad asked, walking over to her and placing a hand on her forehead, but only briefly, removing it fast figuring Erend wouldn't want him to touch her.   
"The same, still hasn't woken up at all.  At least not that I know of, I didn't mean to fall asleep" he said sheepishly.  Behind them they heard a tutting noise, the healer entered the room, speaking to Erend, "I told you to look after yourself!  That means, you get to sleep too!" She scolded him. 

"Is it ok that she hasn't woken yet?" Erend asked the healer, looking worried.   
"Again  I didn't overly expect her to wake overnight.  But I expect her to during today really" she said.  
"Is there anything I can do, to help wake her up?" Erend asked.  
"Perhaps you could try sitting her up, try to make her drink, just move her about a bit, talk to her hope some of it gets through, thats all you can do for her really."   
"What if she doesn't wake up?" Avad said, Erend gave him a look that told Avad he had been wondering the same thing, but afraid to ask.   
The healer took a deep breath, "I'd probably have to look into that potion again, try and reverse the effects... but we will cross that bridge if we come to it.  She seems stronger today so hopefully we won't."  The healer left the room, returning to Marad down the stairs, leaving Avad and Erend alone. 

"Erend, I would very much like to come back again this evening..." Avad said, glancing up at his captain, fixing him with a lingering gaze.  
"Of course your highness. I'm sure Aloy would like to see you if she is awake anyway." Erend told him, resting a hand on his arm in something of an unspoken apology for harsh words spoken yesterday.  
"Thank you." Avad nodded at Erend, then walked over to Aloy, he pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.  "See you later" he said, running a thumb across her cheek. Then he left.

* * *

Erend heard the door close behind them as the party left.  Sighing he closed his eyes, taking a moment to regain his composure after being jolted awake from the feeling of someone watching him and turning to see Avad staring at him as he held Aloy close.  Possibly the worst way he'd ever woken up, despite Aloy being in his arms!   
He opened his eyes again, and moved to refresh the basin of water.  He then took the remains of the plate of food he had made himself back downstairs and gathered together a new one, adding soft fruits and cheeses to the plate hoping to be able to tempt Aloy to eat something.  He picked up a mug of water and went back up the stairs.   
He laid the food and water on the table next to the bed and sat on the bed himself, again he stroked Aloys hair, "Aloy, you need to wake up... please." His voice cracked a little as he pleaded with her.  She remained silent, unresponsive to his pleas.

So Erend gently snaked an arm around her waist, using it to pull her up so she was sitting up more, leaning against him, the sudden movement seemed to help and she groaned.  
"Aloy!" Erend felt his heart soar at the noise, he brushed the hair away from her face, "Aloy? Come on sweetheart just wake up for a little bit, then you can sleep more I promise" he told her, he watched her as she opened her eyes wearily, she looked around confused.  Erend laughed and pulled his other arm around her in a bear hug from behind, kissing her head.  Quickly he release her and grabbed the water, bringing it up to her mouth and helping her drink.  She took a few long gulps before pushing it away, she gasped, then found her voice,  
"Erend?" She said tentatively.   
"Yes, I'm here." Erend sat her up against the bedframe so he could move into her line of sight, he placed a hand on the side of her face stroking her.  He watched as she closed her eyes and leaned against him, her hand coming up to meet his.  
"What happened?" She said, not opening her eyes, her words were mumbled, she was clearly still extremely groggy, but that was OK, the healer said she might be.   
"Someone poisoned you, as you were..." he stopped not wanting to say the words and remind her she had been leaving, but her brow furrowed, confused, "as you were leaving the city" he finished.  
She opened her eyes again, looking at him, eyes searching him as though she was looking to him for an explanation for her leaving, then suddenly a wave of realisation crashed over her, she moved her hand from his, jerking her head away from his hand.   
"Aloy?" Erend looked at her, hurt and confused, she wouldn't meet his gaze so he reached out using her chin to pull her to face him, as he did he saw tears in her eyes and as his eyes met hers, a single tear slid down her face, his breath hitched, "Aloy,  _talk to me_ " he implored "please, I can't bear to see you this way" he wiped the tear from her face with his thumb. 

"Why are you here Erend?" She asked, almost accused.   
Erend laughed a little, stopping himself when she glared at him, "What.. Aloy.. its my house!"   
Aloy looked around again, realisation dawning on her face, along with redness.  "Oh." She said, she looked at Erend once more, "Then why am I here?"   
"Because you collapsed in the village, after you drank that potion, I brought you here to look after you."   
"Why?"  
"Why? Aloy... Why'd you think? Because I care about you!"  
"As a friend, right?" She was staring at him now, the tears had left her eyes, her expression unreadable.  Friend.  The word hit Erend like a hammer.  He wanted to say no, as so much more, so so much more, he wanted to  _show_ her, to kiss her and show her how much he cared.  But he didn't he just looked at her and nodded "yes. As a friend" he forced a smile.  
Aloy looked away, she closed her eyes, breathing steadily, like she was trying to calm herself.  This reaction confused Erend.  He reached out to her, placing a hand on the back of her head, grabbing one of her hands in his, "Aloy wha-" she pushed him away, and he noticed tears were falling once more, as if she was broken by his touch.   She made to get out of the bed, but was still weak from the poison and now emotion, and instead she fell back down onto it, she curled up and broke down before him, howling into the pillow.  Erend was shocked, not sure what to do, he wanted to hold her, comfort her, but she kept pushing him away so he wasn't sure, after a moment, he approached, putting a hand on her shoulder,  
"Aloy... please... your breaking my heart here..." he told her.  She turned to look at him, eyes red again, face streaked with tears, she looked him in the eye,   
"You broke mine first."  Her words knocked the air out of him, as though a thunderjaw had just smacked him in the stomach sending him flying, he reeled back slightly, confused, they just looked at each other for a while.

Finally he spoke, "What?" was all he could manage.  Aloy scoffed a little, but seemed to stop herself. She sighed. "Aloy your gonna have to help me out here, I have no idea whats happened.  All I know is you wanted to speak to me the other night, after you apparently turned down Avads proposal.  That's all he said to me.  He sent me to find you but you were already passing out from that poison when I did... Now this.  I don't know what I've done or what's happened, but please tell me so I can fix it." He pleaded with her, hand on her chin making her face him again so he could show her the sincerity of his words.  Aloy swallowed,  
"I did want to find you, the night Avad proposed." She stopped looking unsure where to go, Erend tried to help,   
" You turned him down?" It was both a question, and a statement, he knew she had turned him down, but the question he was really asking was  _why_ had she turned him down.  
"Yes" she just said simply.  Erend frowned a little, helpful answer...   
"But why?" He said then decided to bite the bullet and added, "I saw you two." This made her look up him in, frowning herself now, "I came to give Avad my report on the city, how we had got on in the tents that day, Marad wasn't around so I entered the throne room.  You were kissing.  You looked happy... I left."  
"Why did you leave?" Aloy asked, confused.  
"Why do you think? I couldn't bear to see you kissing him.  I mean, if he made you happy I'd learn to be happy for you but, in that moment, I couldn't watch you kiss someone else.  Someone other than me." There. It was out.   
Aloy still looked confused, "But you just said... friends?"   
"Because you said friends! By the sun Aloy.  I'd give anything to be more than friends.  But I'd rather keep you as a friend than not have you around at all!"   
Aloy ran a hand through her hair, still looking confused.  "So, you saw me kissing Avad, and left because... it upset you? You left straight away?"  
"Yes" Erend implored.   
Aloy started to laugh, which was extremely unexpected, he almost wanted to laugh too, but the hysteria in her laugh concerned him too much.  "Aloy...? Your scaring me again." He said.  
"Sorry, sorry" Aloy gasped, "it's all just so ridiculous.  If you'd just stayed!" She composed herself, and looked at him, he was so confused, looking at her in bewilderment, she put her hand on his chest, "Oh Erend, if only you'd stayed" she repeated sadly.  "We barely kissed for long before I pushed him away! Obviously you left too soon to see that..."  
Erend nodded numbly, wanting her to explain more so he didn't speak.  
"Erend I... I pushed him away and turned down his proposal because, you were all I could think of." Erends head jerked up at this.  His eyes meeting hers, wide in shock did he just hear her right? Aloy continued, "Avad was kissing me, and in my head I was just thinking I wonder how Erend kisses, how he tastes, what  _he'd_ feel like... and I knew, I couldn't go through with it, with Avad.  We talked and I told him how I felt, about you, he told me to go and find you and tell you so I left to do that."  Erend was watching her, breathless.  He had so many questions, he picked one, finding his voice  
"W..What did you tell him? About how you felt?" He asked, he felt nervous and shaky. Scared of the answer despite the fact she'd basically just admitted she liked him too.

"I told him the truth. I felt a bit bad because it seemed cruel but he wanted to know and, I think I needed to tell someone.  Have them tell me what these feelings were, because I didn't know! Rost, he wasn't a very emotional person, and growing up an outcast, I'd never had friends before let alone.. romances." She stopped for a second, moving her had to cup his face, he reached up and held her hand there, "Erend, I didn't know the difference." She said it almost apologetically.  "I knew I had feelings for you, my mind wandered to you all the time, I wanted to spend time with you, felt happy when I did, but I couldn't tell if thats just, how you feel about friends... It was only really when I thought about kissing you instead of Avad that it really hit me that it probably wasn't just a feeling of friendship."

Erend could hardly contain himself, was this even real? Could it be... she actually felt the same way as he did? He knew he was grinning from ear to ear, he reached out to her but she moved,   
"Wait. There's more, I need to tell you..." her eyes pleaded with him, he nodded for her to continue, wondering what more could be said on the matter.   
She sighed, looking away, she looked sad now, why was she sad? Erend felt nervous again.  
"I left the palace and went to find you.  You weren't at home so I went to the bar..."

_Ohno, by the sun please no..._

Aloy gave a sad laugh, "I was so nervous, you know I rarely even get nervous? Even before the proving, even before fighting Hades.  I mean I was a  _little_ nervous sure but, nothing compared to how scared I felt about coming to tell you how I felt.  The fear of you doing to me, what I had just done to Avad I suppose."  She stopped, seemed like she was trying to find the words.  Erends heart was in his mouth, he clung on to a fine thread of hope that she wasn't going to say what he thought she was but he already knew.  He thought back to that night, how he'd heard the door the open but no one came in...

Her voice was a whisper, she looked at him again sadly, silent tears falling again "I saw you.  With her.. the barmaid.  You looked so... hungry like you had wanted her for so long... I ran. All the way back to Olins, I was going to leave that night but, I was crying, a mess.  I fell asleep, so obviously made to leave in the morning when I woke.  Thats why I was leaving the city.  Because... I love you.  But you love her."  She wasn't looking at him anymore.  She was looking away, trying to compose herself, he could tell she didn't like crying, especially not in front of people. 

"Aloy... I'm so sorry... If I'd known..."   
"If you'd known it wouldn't change anything.  You can't help how you feel."  
"Aloy, no.  I don't love Jacinta." Aloys head snapped to look at him.   
"You don't? But you seemed so..." Erend held his hand up, it was his turn to explain.  
"Yeah, and I thought you seemed so with Avad and I was wrong wasn't I?" A look of realisation spread over Aloys face as she digested that information, "I'm not proud of what happened that night.  And its gonna kill me to tell you this Aloy, because I know it doesn't make me look good.  But I think you need to hear it, for your own sake, just try not to hate me OK?"   
Aloy frowned, "I don't think I could ever hate you" she stroked his face, he wanted her to carry on but he stopped her, needing to concentrate before his will broke and he decided not to tell her. 

"That night.  I left the palace, I was sure you and Avad were together, gonna get married... I was all over the place wondering what to do.  Could I stay on in the vanguard watching you with him everyday, or did I need to quit and go back home.  I was beating myself up for ever hoping I had a chance with you... you get the picture, I was like you felt, when you left the bar." Aloy squirmed, but nodded to show she understood his state of mind.   
"So I headed to the bar for a drink, well a lot of drinks, you know me... Jacinta, she's always liked me, she's made it pretty clear but, I never really noticed her-" Aloy scoffed, "No its true! Aloy ever since I met you at the proving I haven't even looked at another girl, and even if I did, it was like a candle trying to drown out the sun.  No one even came close." He ran his hand over her arm.  
"But that night, I was sure you were with him, with someone else and I was never going to have you.  I needed to let you go, my mind kept thinking about the two of you, believing you were still at the palace, possibly in his bed" his voice cracked, remembering the feeling, Aloy reached for his hand, holding it, but saying nothing letting him continue, "I felt, so lonely.  I mean, since Ersa I'd been feeling lonely but there was always hope, but that hope had been doused like a bucket of ice over my head.  So I let Jacinta sit with me, drink with me.  I let her flirt and flirted back... before I knew it... I was kissing her.  And I know it was wrong, I knew even at the time my heart screamed at me to stop, but I wasn't strong enough, I just needed so much to feel wanted."

He looked at Aloy, she was looking at him, concern etched on her face, she looked sad, but not sad for herself, sad for him, sad that he'd been hurting.  As he looked at her, she moved, pulling him into an embrace.  He held her tight, but he knew he had to tell her that things with Jacinta didn't end there.  It wasn't fair if he didn't.  Aloy moved out of the embrace cupping his face, "I want you" she murmured her face tantalisingly close.   
"For now" he muttered back, "but my story isn't over..." a look of crushing realisation swept over her beautiful face as she realised the implications of those words, Erend hated himself so much in that moment.  "I know" he said looking  at her.  
"You, slept with her?" Aloy choked out.  
Erend nodded sadly.  They sat in silence again, he wasn't sure whether to tell her how he'd only thought of her, he wasn't sure if that made things better or worse. 

"What was it like?" Her voice jogged him from his thoughts.   
"What?"  
"What was it like? Sex..." Aloy said, her voice full of curiosity.  
"Aloy..."  _why would she want to know?_  
"I just, I've never even come close to that with anyone.  I just wonder what its like.  I don't think knowing the details will hurt me anymore than knowing it happened." She told him matter of factly.  
"It was just...sex.  It didn't mean anything." He searched her face, wondering what she wanted to hear, he thought back to how she had told him she had only thought of him whilst kissing Avad...  _maybe that **is**  what she wants to hear.  Maybe she's actually hoping you thought of her... _"I feel really shitty for it, cos I know Jacinta likes me a whole lot, and I basically used her and... I couldn't stop thinking of  you.  I was so drunk sometimes I managed to kid myself it  _was_ you, and I'd have to tell myself it wasn't... I know.  Its awful. I told you you might hate me at the end of this." He looked down miserably.  
There was a moment of silence between the two again.  Then he felt her hand lifting his chin this time, her eyes boring into his, but he didn't see hatred, or anger in them, just compassion, sadness   
"I still don't Erend, just like I told you I wouldn't.  You made a mistake, but so did I.  And rather than talk to each other we ran apart, like the idiots we are.  How easy this all could've been solved if either one of us had just been honest..." She said softly, the chuckled a bit, "its why I laughed earlier.  Here we are, both pining for each other, and assuming the other isn't and is happy with someone else." She shook her head in amusement.  
Erend stayed silent, not sure where she was going, still worried that after all that had happened, she wouldn't want to be with him now.  She turned back to him, running a hand through his hair to the back of his head, letting it rest there. She moved her other hand to his chest.

"I tried to run.  Run back to the Nora.  Leave before I had to face you... but you came for me.  Like you always do.  And you saved me, because you always have my back.  And I have yours, because I love you."   
She moved towards him, arms locking around his neck, she stared into his eyes and he saw it in them, her love for him, it crashed over him like a tidal wave and he had never felt so happy as he wrapped his arms around her waist and locked their lips together.  Breaking the kiss, just for a moment, he stared into her eyes, their faces close, lips still practically touching,  
"I love you too" he whispered, kissing here again. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone get the tissues!... God damn these two! sniff


	11. Chapter 11

Aloy felt like she was flying, the sense of elation and happiness she felt as she heard him say that he loved her was so strong she felt as though she might burst! He was kissing her again, hands on her face as he pressed her into the headboard.   She grinned into the kiss, her hands playing with the back of his hair, she felt him grin back as he pulled away slightly;  
"What?" He asked her, still grinning.  
Aloy moved away so she was no longer leaning on the headboard, straightening up to match his height, arms still locked around his neck, "I'm just so happy" she whispered.   
Erend bent down to kiss her again, his hands finding her waist, he trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck, eliciting a small moan of pleasure in response.  His hands were stroking her back and sides, almost tickling her, but not too much, it felt good.   _So good._ But as she lay there eyes closed, savouring the moment she could feel herself drifting again, she was still tired from whatever that merchant had given her, she realised she didn't even know how long it had been...

"Aloy!" She jerked awake at the sound of Erends soft, but firm voice, chuckling as he spoke her name, as if it was honey on his tongue, "I know I'm sorta out of practice at this kinda thing but falling asleep? Really? That's cold..." he joked.   
"Wha-?  Oh sorry" she mumbled, her eyes closing again.  She could feel him stroking her hair, one arm still around her waist.  She smiled feeling so calm, she just wanted to drift off again.  
"Ah ah ah, no" she felt herself being pulled up to sitting again  
"Noooo" she groaned, half-heartedly slapping his chest, she just wanted to sleep, and if he wanted to kiss her couldn't they do that lying down!?   
Erend laughed softly at her, "You can sleep in a minute, I promise" he told her.  
"I sleep  _now_ " she said flopping into his chest, she felt him kiss her head.   
"If it wasn't for the fact I know what is causing this, it would be seriously cute" he told her, "actually, it still is cute."  She barely heard him, did he just call her cute? She wasn't sure how to feel about that.  No one had ever described her as cute before, then again no one had really ever used nice words to describe her it was always 'savage' or 'outcast' or 'no-mother'.  She sighed a little, 'cute' was at least an improvement on those.    
Erend moved her to sit up against the headboard again, she felt him press a mug to her lips, blearily she opened her eyes, although not fully.  When did opening her eyes become so difficult? 

"Drink, I'm concerned you are getting dehydrated, it was hot yesterday and you've been crying..." Erend told her, he was speaking more formally now, as if he was talking to one of his men.   
"Yesterday..." Aloy said the word as though it was new to her, was he saying she'd been out since  _yesterday?_  
  
"Yeah you've been out over 24 hours Aloy..." he told her as she drank.   She was shocked but too tired to show it.  "Can you eat something? Just a small bite? I brought up some soft cheese and fruit" he said, she nodded, if she'd been out for so long she supposed she better.  She ate a slice of cheese and a handful of grapes, then finished off the mug of water.   Blearily she looked at Erend, who was beaming at her.   
"Thank you." He said, she thought this seemed an odd thing to say, then realised he had probably been worried.  She lay back down, sighing contently as her head hit the pillow and she felt him stroking her hair once again.  She moved her hand to his arm, "don't go" she whispered.   
"Hmm?" She heard his puzzled response.   
"Don't leave" she told him again, she wanted him to stay with her, cuddle her even if she wasn't going to be awake to feel it.   
"Aloy I'm not going anywhere.  Just like I haven't for the last 24 hours."  She felt him move beside her pulling her to him so her head lay on his chest.  So he had been here with her the whole time... she squeezed him a little, the only thing she could do right then to say thanks and instantly she was asleep once more. 

* * *

 

Erend was delighted, he'd managed to get her to eat some food.  It wasn't much, but it was something.  She'd almost been sleeping as she ate it, he could tell she was forcing herself to stay awake enough to eat.  He watched her lie back down, the change that had come over her since their talk and subsequent kissing was obvious, she suddenly seemed so happy, content, relaxed... he was amazed at the transformation.  Surely that wasn't  _just_ because of him?    
He looked down at her, stroking her hair again, he loved the feel of it on his hands, and no one in the kingdom had hair like hers, so vibrant and red, like a forge.  Suddenly she grabbed his arm,  
"Don't go" he heard her whisper.     
Don't go?  Did she really think he was going to leave?  Did she think he had left her yesterday?  He moved himself over to lie next to her, pulling her onto his chest,   
"Aloy I'm not going anywhere.  Just like I haven't for the last 24 hours." He felt her give him a small squeeze, then her breathing steadied and she was asleep. 

Even though he'd already held her all night, he savoured the feel of holding her once more.  Perhaps because of the fact that the nature of their relationship had suddenly changed since then.  He'd spent the night trying  _not_ to think too much about her body pressed against his, the smell of her hair, knowing it wouldn't last, telling himself it was just because she had been cold.  But now he knew she wanted him there, holding her, now he knew she liked it he let himself really feel it.  The gentle weight of her body against his, the tickle of her hair on his face, she even had one arm around him this time , resting gently around his waist.   His arm was around hers too and he absentmindedly traced his fingertips around her skin.  

It was everything he'd ever hoped it would be, and so  _so_ much more.  After what he had done, the way he had acted recently, especially after Jacinta, he knew he didn't deserve this.  He barely felt worthy of her time even as a huntress before now, she was so skilled, and when he'd asked for her help to track Ersa, he'd felt guilty, knowing she had far more important matters to attend to, her own journey that would eventually lead to Hades and the battle for Meridian.  But she'd come anyway and he'd been overjoyed at her help.  

He still remembered that night, after they had brought Dervhal back to Meridian, he had gone to take him to the prisons where he could await trial.  As he came back up the steps from the dungeons he'd bumped into her, almost literally as she left the throne room from speaking with Avad.    
"Sorry."  
"It's OK.  How are you doing?" She asked him, concern on her face.  He just shrugged.   
"I guess, you'll be off now then..." he inquired.  
"Yeah I have... a lot to do, actually." She'd told him, he looked at her, really looked, her olive green eyes showed that inside her mind was already planning out her journeys, what she was going to do.  She looked, stressed he thought, concern and admiration washed over him.  
"You know what? When we met, I thought I was a big shot talking to a pretty girl hidden away in the middle of nowhere. Now I see that I was just lucky to get a minute of your time." He told her.  She smiled at him, reaching out to playfully bat him on the arm "I'll always have a minute for you Erend, maybe even two."  
"Huh! Two! She likes me!" Erend joked.  
Aloy laughed,  she had a lovely laugh, Erend realised he hadn't really heard it much before, the nature of their meetings hadn't really leant itself to much laughter.   
"Come on, I need to do some business in the city, why don't you join me?" He had jumped at the chance to spend more time with her.  Following her to some stalls where she sold some wares and bought some supplies, before they walked over to the bridge out the city. 

"Where will you go?" He asked.  
"I don't really know.  A friend of mine told me i'm chasing a riddle into a wilderness of mysteries... it seems like an apt description, even if it doesn't make much sense.  I guess my journey doesn't either." She shrugged, sighing.   
"So stay" he found himself saying, "If your journey doesn't make sense, why go? Stay here we could use a hunter like you in Meridian."   
"I need answers." She told him simply.  He nodded, he could respect that.  He just wished she didn't have to go so soon, he wished he could ask her to wait, wait just until after Ersa's funeral and then he'd come with her, he'd follow her wherever her journey took her, no matter how far.  But he couldn't ask that of her, he'd delayed her journey long enough already.   
"Well.  I hope you find them." He told her.  
"Thanks... goodbye Erend" She said walking off across the bridge.   
"Bye Aloy."  That was it, that's all he said, there was so much more he wanted to tell her, be careful, don't forget him, come back someday even just to visit.  He sighed defeated, watching her walk away into the desert.  He was sure that would be the last he ever saw her. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The character Aneta is credited to EmyBunny and appears in her story Fractures! :)

Jacinta was working an afternoon shift at the bar,  despite not having seen Erend since that night they spent together as he'd left before she awoke, she hadn't stopped grinning.  She felt as though she was the luckiest girl in all of Meridian.   She didn't  begrudge Erend leaving her before she woke up, although she had initially been disappointed to find herself alone, she soon got over it, telling herself he had lots of work to do helping rebuild the city.  He was captain of the vanguard after all!   
She grinned again thinking of that.  She was the lover of the captain of the kings vanguard.  After all this time she had wanted him she had almost stopped hoping it could ever happen, especially after she'd seen him with that Aloy girl.  But that night, oh that night.  He'd been drunk, but he was Oseram, that was practically their base state, and he'd been the one to make the move, kiss her first, hungrily.  He'd been the one to suggest getting the room, and he'd been the one who had held her so tight as he rode her.   _You don't hold people that tight unless you **really** like them_ she thought.  

The thought made her grin again.  She only wished she'd seen him since, she'd tried to find him yesterday, she went to the city centre where the vanguards had established a centre for aid and assistance, but she hadn't seen him.  She'd been working the evening and whilst most of the vanguard had come in throughout the night, he had been notably absent.  At one point she almost asked after him, but decided against it, not wanting to come across too needy or clingy.  But then this morning she had gone once more to the centre, sure she would find him there today but once again he wasn't.    
Whilst still elated from their night of passion and her assurance that they were now lovers, she couldn't help feeling disappointed at his absence recently.  Although she was sure there was good reason, but then, that thought worried her.  What if he had been hurt whilst helping someone?  No one would think to tell her, its not like anybody knew. 

She decided she would ask one of the vanguard about him that day.  After all it had been almost two days since their tryst, it wasn't needy or clingy to want to see your lover after two days following your first ever night together was it?  It didn't seem so to her, it seemed quite normal really.  Most couples when they first got together couldn't get enough of each other!    
 _He probably wants to see you as much as you want to see him_ she told herself, if he was busy, maybe his vanguard could help her surprise him with a lunch or something.   
As she tidied around the bar area, she noticed one of the vanguard come in,  _perfect!_ What made it even more perfect was it was Aneta, the only female vanguard, the fact that it was another women would make it easier to talk.  

"Afternoon Aneta, what can I get you?" She asked.  
Aneta looked around, clearly looking for any other members of the vanguard, but the place was fairly empty, except a few citizens, who tended to while away most of their hours in the bar.  
"Hey Jacinta.  No one in?"  She said, raising an eyebrow.  
"No, been fairly quiet during the day recently, everyones helping rebuild the city."   
"True, just your soup of the day please.  Got guard duty for Avad" she said rolling her eyes.  
Jacinta raised her eyebrows as she put the order in for her soup, "Oh, that's interesting.  I'd have thought he'd be sparing the vanguard, and most guards, to help with the city rather than stand around all day."  
"Yeah, we were meant to be.  Then someone poisoned Aloy so he's gotten all worried cos the captain thinks it was a plot to use her against the king."  Aneta ran her hands through her hair.  
"Someone poisoned Aloy?"  Jacinta asked, shocked, "Is she OK?"   
"Dunno.  It'll be my first time on guard duty today.  Cycling around the vanguard so we can all help in the centre too.  She's with the captain at his house, Avad wasn't happy apparently, wanted her to stay at the palace.  Captain wasn't having any of it though."  Aneta grinned a little, like she knew something Jacinta didn't.   
Jacintas stomach tied in knots,  _why would Erend be insisting Aloy stay at his house rather than the palace?  Surely she'd be safer there?_ She looked at Aneta, who was studying her.   
"Maybe Erend thinks if it was someone trying to get to Avad, Aloy would be less safe in the palace?"  Jacinta asked Aneta.  
Aneta shrugged, "Maybe.  Him and Avad had a bit of a blow out so I hear though.  All a bit of a mess really."   
Jacinta hummed, thoughtful, "Sounds it... Why would someone be poisoning Aloy to get at Avad anyway?"   
Aneta raised an eyebrow, "Seriously?  Avad is totally crushing on her.  Heard she turned him down though..."   
Jacinta gasped, "Oh! I didn't know, why would she turn him down? That's weird."   
"Nah not really.  I wouldn't wanna be queen either."  Aneta said, buttering some bread that had arrived with her soup. 

Jacinta left her to eat, and went to collect some glasses and tidy around the inn.  Her mind was reeling from all this information.    
 _So that's where Erend has been, with Aloy, but why? He wasn't a healer, why did he have to stay with her just because she was sick? And why would he argue with the King over her?_ She was starting to feel a little sick, the looks on Erends face from that night she saw them together in the bar floating to the surface.  She tried to shake them off, think back to the night they spent together, the looks he'd given  _her_ but she couldn't.    
 _Stop it Jacinta.  He's with you, he wants you! You know this, he probably just feels obligated because of who Aloy is and him being captain._  
Either way, she decided to ask Aneta about when Erend might be free.  Or if she could go visit him perhaps... 

"So, when is Aloy supposed to make a recovery?" She asked Aneta, casually.  
Aneta finished off her soup, "Well I heard the healers expect her to wake up today.  She's been out of it since it happened yesterday morning, but they think she was just given something to knock her out like that, so they could take her somewhere.  Hopefully once she's awake, everyone will stop fretting and we can help more in the city."   
"Mmmm, then Erend will be free too, instead of having to stay with her I suppose..." she didn't pose it as a question, more of a general thought, as if it was a casual wondering.   
Aneta eyed her suspiciously, "I guess.  What's up with you asking all these questions about Erend?"   
Jacinta was surprised at her bluntness, she didn't know why, Aneta was like that she should've known she'd see through her attempts at being informal about the whole thing.  She blushed, "Oh, I just.. um.."   _should I just tell her? Is it my place to? She's part of his vanguard, but, its your life too..._ "We're kinda, seeing each other now."  She blurted out, before she lost nerve.   
Aneta looked shocked, like,  _really_ shocked.  And not a good shocked, more of a 'really? That can't be right' kind of shocked.  Jacinta didn't like it, why wouldn't it be right?   
"Since when?" Aneta finally spoke up.   
"The other night.  Night before Aloy was poisoned, we stayed here together."  She added the last bit, using it as some proof, if Aneta really didn't believe her, she had the proof that they had indeed had a room here that night.   
"Interesting..." Aneta mumbled.  
"Why?  Why shouldn't we be together?"  Jacinta asked defensively.   
"No reason." Aneta said, but she looked like she could think of many, "I better get going..." She stood to leave.  
"Wait, Aneta... please can you tell Erend I'd quite like to see him, I haven't seen him since that night, and he was gone when I woke up in the morning.  I guess, Aloy got poisoned and everything, but if he can spare a little time..."  
"I'll speak with him."  Aneta said in a reassuring tone.   
"Thank you." Jacinta turned and went back to her cleaning, as the vanguard walked out. 

* * *

Aneta pondered over what she'd just discovered.  So Erend had slept with Jacinta the other night?  She didn't doubt the girl was telling the truth, she had no reason to lie after all, the information just too her by surprise.  It was no secret amongst the vanguard that their captain was hopelessly in love with Aloy, so the fact he had slept with another women, when Aneta hadn't even seen him show any interest in other girls since they'd met Aloy, shocked her.  What Aneta did doubt was Jacintas insistence that her and Erend were now lovers, especially after learning Erend had left before Jacinta woke up, that just smacked of a one night fling to her.  She was still deep in thought when she arrived at the captains house, her thoughts interrupted by Kiln knocking on her helmet. 

"Knock knock, anyone home in there?" Kiln joked looking at her thoughtful expression.  
"Get off, ya big lug!" She said pushing him away.   
"Ah! She's back!  Don't be doing that whilst your on guard duty missy! A destroyer could get past you and you wouldn't notice!"   
Aneta kicked at him playfully.    
"Whats got you all thoughtful anyway?"  Kiln asked.   
"I was just at the inn, chatting with Jacinta, and she reckons her and the captain are lovers..." she glanced at Kiln to see his reaction.   
Kiln looked shocked, then confused, then burst into laughter.  "That's ridiculous!" He spluttered."  
"Well that's what I thought, but then she said they spent the night together at the inn the other night.  There's no reason she should lie." Aneta said.   
"Give over Aneta, the captains absolutely besotted with Aloy."  
"I know that! I just felt she was telling the truth.  I'm not sure that really makes them  _lovers_ though."   
Kiln stroked his beard, "Hmmmm.  Well.  I know he hasn't left Aloys side since she was poisoned.  Healers have been worried about his health cos he's just been worrying over her, not eating properly and stuff.  Not the actions of a bloke who just took a lover is it? To spend every waking hour with a  _different_ girl, not eating or sleeping for worry of that girl."  
"No. Anyway, she asked me to speak with Erend, see if he would go visit her.  Perhaps he should to clear things up."   
Kiln snorted, "Yeah I'll say.  You go on in, I'll stay out here a little while til you get back." 

* * *

When Aloy woke, sighing she felt for Erend, nothing, she was alone.  She opened her eyes, looking around, he was no where to be seen.    
"Erend?" She called, upset that he wasn't there, she had asked him to stay, "Erend?" She called out again, sure he'd left her and gone out, but then suddenly he came into the bedroom from the bathroom across from her.  
"Aloy, your up again!"  He beamed, he looked so happy to see her.  
"Yeah... I thought you were gonna stay with me" she pouted a little.   
"I did! I just, its been a few hours, I was hoping you'd wake up again and thought you might like a bath if you did."  He walked over to her, sitting on the bed and holding her hand.  Aloy felt bad now, so he'd been getting her a bath... that was so thoughtful and here she'd been accusing him of leaving her!   
"Oh that's so sweet.  I mean, unless your only doing it because you think I smell.  Then its less sweet."  She joked.  Erend moved over to her, and sniffed,   
"Weeeelll..."   
Aloy smacked at him playfully.    
"Hey!" He grabbed her arms, and they wrestled a little playfully, he won, he had bulk and the fact he hadn't just been poisoned on his side.  She was pinned beneath him as he grinned flexing a little "Yes, the captain is victorious!  You belong to me now" he winked at her, then bent his head to kiss her.   
 _Maybe losing isn't so bad_ Aloy thought.  Suddenly she felt him pick her up again.  She yelped in surprise, "What is it with you and carrying me?" She asked.  
Erend just grinned at her in response, as he carried her through to the bathroom.  

The aroma hit her as soon as they walked in, soft sweet scents of carja perfumes.  She breathed in, "smells lovely" she said as he put her down.   
"Yeah, dug these out from Ersas old room..."   
Aloy hugged him, "Thank you."   
"Don't mention it.  Hey uh, you think you can manage to eat a proper meal tonight?" He asked.  Aloy stood for a second, thinking about it, she placed a hand to her stomach, she hadn't really eaten for 2 days, she supposed she really should eat.   
"I'll try.  Maybe once I've had a bath and feel more with it, I'll have more of an appetite."   
Erend kissed her forehead, "OK, I'll cook something nice" he told her.  
"I'll believe that when I'm eating it" Aloy teased.   
"Why must you hurt me so when I've been so nice?" Erend said, putting a hand to his heart in mock heartbreak.  "Right I'll leave you to it, I'll just be in the bedroom for a little bit, if you need me."

And with that he left her in the bathroom alone, closing the door behind him.  Aloy stripped out of the remaining pieces of armour, As she did so she noted that they were quite dirty and a little damp from sweat, it had been a hot day the day she had been poisoned.  Although Erend had been joking, she supposed she probably did smell a little, and the sweat and dirt wouldn't be making her feel any better either.  This bath was probably going to be just what she needed.  
She stepped over into it, it was hot, but she'd get used to it, she slid in, moaning at the feel of the perfumed water on her skin, she ducked under the water to wet her hair.  She stayed under a little savouring the feel of being encompassed in the water.  
"Aloy!" She was jolted up by arms, and Erends panicked voice.  She broke through the surface of the water, and gasped a little for air.   
"Erend! What are you doing?" She gasped, suddenly feeling very self conscious and aware that she was naked, but looking down she saw that bubbles and a cloudy sheen on top of the water made it hard to see her body below it.   
"I heard something, thought you were calling, came in and I thought you'd fallen asleep in the water or something..." he looked a bit sheepish now, realising his error.   
"No, I was just, getting my hair wet!" She laughed.   
Erend went red, "Sorry" he mumbled, he got up to leave but she pulled him towards her a little and kissed him.   
"Don't be sorry, its nice that you are concerned."  He smiled at her, then left again. 

As she settled back down into the bath, Aloy thought she heard someone come into the house, she hoped it wasn't Avad or someone wanting to see her, she was enjoying the bath too much.   
She listened, hearing Erend call out that he was upstairs.  She heard someone climb the stairs to the bedroom.   
"Aneta, what can I do for you?" She heard Erend ask.  
"Captain. How is Aloy?"  
"Good, seems to be doing better.  She woke up this morning for a little, had to go back to sleep again though.  But she's up again now, she's in the bath."   
" That's great."  Silence seemed to fall between the two, Aloy shifted a little in the bath, surely Aneta didn't just come up to ask about her, they barely knew each other.  
"Aneta? Are you OK?" Erend asked.  
"Yes, its just, I was just speaking with Jacinta..."  Aloy stiffened at the name.  What now, she just wanted to try and forget the girl existed.  "Jacinta wants to see you." She heard Aneta say.   
"I'm a bit busy right now.  She'll have to wait."   
"I think you should see her Captain... she, says you are lovers..." Aneta sounded awkward, like she'd rather not be having this conversation.  Aloys heart lept into her throat.   _Lovers? What?_ She had thought it had just been one night, a fling when he was feeling hopeless and lonely.  Not that that didn't mean it didn't hurt her, but she could understand the need to be with someone when you were feeling so upset.  She herself had almost ran back to the palace for wanting someone to hold her.  But  _Lovers_ what did that make them now then?  Why had he said he loved her?  Tears pricked in Aloys eyes.   
"Lovers?? What?!" She heard Erends shocked reply, making her feel a little better.  
"That's what she said, said you spent the night with her, said it was really intimate and stuff.  Look you should probably just have this conversation with her...  I can stay with Aloy if you need.  I'm sure Kiln won't mind staying outside a little longer."   
 _Intimate?_ It just kept getting worse.  It definitely seemed like Jacinta had been more than a fuck for him.  Aloy slid under the water, not wanting to hear anymore.  The pain eased a little as she had to focus on holding in her breath.  Eventually she surfaced, gasping for air, she heard a knock at the door. 

"Aloy? Aloy its Aneta.  Erend had to go out, I'm gonna stay here incase you need anything OK? I'll just be out here in the bedroom."  
Aloy choked back tears, not wanting her voice to betray her fragile feeling emotional state, "OK, thanks Aneta."  Then she slid under the water once more, her face feeling hot from water on it, only it wasn't from the bath. 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Erend made his way swiftly out of the house.  He didn't like to leave Aloy, he wanted to be there to make sure she was still OK, and he had a lovely meal planned for them too, which again he wanted  to see if she'd eat properly now.  And then there was Avad, he had said he would be visiting later, and Erend sure as hell didn't want to not be there when Avad was there.  Sure Aloy might have turned him down and picked him, but he still didn't feel worthy of that choice and wasn't convinced the Sun-King was going to let go without a fight.   But he had to go and set things straight with Jacinta, of course he had been expecting to do this at some point, apologise for his behaviour, explain it wouldn't happen again, he hadn't expected to have to explain that what had happened didn't mean they were in a relationship now!   
He hoped this didn't have an impact on things with Aloy,  if anyone was going to be his 'lover' it would be her.  He smiled to himself as he walked through the streets, putting a hand to his lips as he remembered the feel of her lips on his.  Only, that only reminded him of the feel of her body pressed against him, and he figured he better get off this train of thought before he got excited.  Probably not the best position to be in whilst he had this conversation with Jacinta.  

He rounded the corner to the bar, suddenly surprised that he was almost there, he'd been so lost in his thoughts about Aloy he hadn't even considered what he was going to say to Jacinta.    
Anxiety swelled in his stomach, he stood against the wall of the bar, thinking, mulling over how to start the conversation then scratching it out and starting again.    
 _Nothing you say is going to sound good.  What you did wasn't good, this conversation is going to be ugly no matter how you phrase it._ Sighing and heavy hearted he moved to open the door to the bar, but instead came face to face with Jacinta.  

Her face broke into a wide grin as she saw him there.    
"Erend!" She threw her arms around him before he had time to react.  He didn't return the hug, but she didn't even seem like she noticed.  "You came! And so quickly too! I asked Aneta to tell you to come see me, I know you are with Aloy right now so I wasn't expecting to see you for a while."  The way she said it made Erend nervous that she was taking this as some kind of sign that he had come to her because he wanted to be in her company more than he wanted to be in Aloys, when in reality, nothing could be farther from the truth.  He longed to be back at home, cooking the meal he had planned for them, laughing with her, holding her...   
 _Snap out of it idiot! Have the damn conversation already,_ a stern voice inside his head, that didn't sound at all unlike that of Ersa, jolted him from his fantasies about Aloy,  _fuck sake Erend, you really need to focus and stop fantasising about Aloy everytime your with Jacinta.  Show the poor girl some respect._

Ersas voice made a good point.  A  _very_ good point.  A point that made him ashamed.   _So it should!  
  
_ He cleared his throat, "Yeah, I spoke to Aneta... um.  Are you working right now?" He asked, he'd rather not have this conversation in public.   
"No, I just finished, you have  _great_ timing" she winked at him, moving closer to him, he took a step back.   
"Woah, yeah... good, that's... erm, good.  Do you think we could go somewhere quiet, to chat?" He swallowed, she had definitely noticed his avoidance of her that time.  Her face creased into a frown,   
"OK..." She said, sounding uncertain.   
They began walking towards a small gardened area at the south of the city where it verged onto the oasis.  An awkward silence grew between them as they both desperately clawed for conversation.  
"I heard about Aloy.  What happened?"  Jacinta finally asked, although she didn't seem to really be bothered about what happened, she sounded as thought she'd rather be talking about anything else.   
"Not sure really.  Need to investigate but, didn't wanna leave her."  He said, staring straight ahead, not wanting to look at her.   
"Is she OK?" Again, she didn't seem to want to know really, but since most other topics of conversation hadn't actually sprung much conversation from him, he supposed she had guessed this one would, and she hadn't been wrong.  He couldn't help but want to talk about Aloy.  She was all he'd been thinking of in the moments of silence that stretched between him and the carja next to him.   
"Managed to wake her this morning, which was a relief.  Healers said she should be waking up today so, tried moving her to sit up, coax her with some water. Didn't think it would work at first..." He knew he wasn't hiding the concern he'd felt.   _This isn't going to be making her feel any better halfwit! Find another topic!!_  "Anyway. She's up and about now. Much brighter." He smiled, trying to end the conversation and move it onto something different.  He looked over at Jacinta, she was looking at the ground, as he suspected, or Ersas voice suspected this topic wasn't making Jacinta feel good. 

Silence fell between them again.  Fuck he was useless at this, he didn't want this, he didn't want to cause Jacinta any pain.  
 _Yeah, but your gonna aren't you? Cos you've been a colossal dickhead.  So suck it up and take responsibility.  Didn't I tell you to grow up little brother??_ Ersas voice felt like a punch in the stomach, she'd be so disappointed in him right now, and she'd be right to be.  He was disappointed in himself.   
They reached the gardens, they looked quite beautiful that day, although possibly it was just because of the state of the rest of the city, it made this small section, untouched by the war with the eclipse seem like paradise.  He made a mental note to bring Aloy here when she was feeling a bit better.   
Finding a bench they sat, Erend waited until Jacinta had sat down before sitting making sure he sat away from her.  The look on Jacintas face as he sat down told him she seemed to already know what was coming, probably had since they started walking. 

"Jacinta... Aneta told me what you said to her, about... us." He started, stopping short trying to think of how to word the next part of his sentence.  
"About us being lovers, yes" she was smiling hopefully, but Erend could see it in her eyes that she no longer really believed what she was saying.  The look inside them pained him.   
"Yes.  Wait, I mean..." his hand went up to scratch at the back of his neck as he often he did when he was nervous, "What happened between us... shit, sorry I'm so bad at this.  I never meant to hurt you! But, it was a mistake.  I was drunk and lonely and... and I need to stop making excuses."  He brought his eyes up to meet hers, tears were forming in her eyes "I'm so sorry Jacinta.  But we can't be together."    
Her tears began to fall as she heard the conclusion, but she was nodding, "I guessed.  When you moved away from me at the bar.  But... Why? That night was so..." she trailed off then made a noise, like a groan, "No ones ever been so...  _intimate_ before..."   
Erend sat, head in his hands, arms resting on his legs.  What could he say to that?  _"Oh sorry I made it seem like I was in love with you but thats cos I was thinking of someone else!" he couldn't tell her that now could he!?  
  
_ "Maybe, it just felt more intimate cos you like me?" Erend cringed as he heard the words leave his mouth,  _What the fuck was that!?  By the sun you idiot! This is all you, nothing on her! Don't blame her for your bad decisions!_ "Shit, I... didn't mean that."  
Jacinta raked a hand through her hair, frowning, she was obviously processing what he had said, "I don't think so..." She started, but he interrupted her,  
"No.  You're right.  This is all on me.  That was a terrible thing to say.  I can't believe I even said it." He was looking at her again now, stern look on his face, tone serious, authoritarian like how he would speak to his vanguard.  She nodded at him.   
"OK.  But then... why? It was a good night, we could give it a go!" She reached out to take the hand he'd stretched out towards her whilst imploring her to forget his stupid comment.  He squeezed her hand a little, he was gonna have to tell her.  Not that he'd been thinking of Aloy that night, but, about Aloy, maybe if she knew it would help her get over him.  It would hurt, but at least there would be no room for her trying to get him to change his mind, no room for hope that they could maybe be together.  He looked at her, straight in the eye.   
"Jacinta, you are... great.  Your kind and caring and you've helped me so much, when I lost Ersa, you were so helpful, I needed someone to talk to, and you were there and I doubt I can ever repay you for that.-"  She interrupted him, "You can though! Just give us a chance, that's more than enough payback! Not that I want or expect any, but if you wanted to then..." She was rambling now and he held up his other hand to stop her, "Jacinta... Jacinta, no.  I just wanted you to know you're a great person.  And you'll find someone, but its not me."  
"There's someone else isn't there?" Jacinta said, surprising him a little, but then he didn't know why.   
"Yes" he said simply.  
"Is it-"  
"-Yes." 

Silence fell between them, he was still holding her hand.  He searched her face, watching as she digested the information, which clearly wasn't news to her, but yet she still needed to process hearing it out loud, so bluntly spoken.  Process how it had suddenly become so  _real_ now. Finally she spoke, "So that's why you've been spending time with her, since she was poisoned.  I did wonder, when Aneta said... I mean, your not a healer..." she looked over at him, a small smile on her face.    
He returned  it, "Yeah I'm no healer.  But I couldn't leave her like that..."  
"I understand.  She's lucky."   
Erend snorted a little, before he could stop himself, "I'm the lucky one."   
Jacinta eyed him, as though she was confused about this, "Why? She's a nora savage... I mean I get it, whatever, you like her, but she's definitely getting the better end of the deal here."   
Her words made him somewhat angry, but he tried to keep it down, she was hurting, and she didn't really know Aloy either.  But he hated when people called her a savage, she was far more dignified and intelligent than most of them.  Any of them!  He searched for a response, maybe it was better to let that lie he wondered.   
"Well. Maybe we are both lucky" he said, smiling a little at Jacinta.  
"Maybe."

It was starting to get dark, how long had he been out here with her? Fuck! He had meant to get back before Avad visited, he doubted that would happen, he was probably already there knowing how Avad felt about Aloy.  And Aneta had probably cooked instead now, he had asked her to cook if he wasn't back.  Guess he'd have to do that meal tomorrow.  He looked at the stars, sighing.   
"You want to go back to her don't you?" He heard Jacinta say from beside him.  He looked over at her, "Not if there's still things you want to talk about.  I screwed up here.  I hurt you and I know theres nothing I can do to take that pain away now, and honestly, that kills me a little Jacinta, because you deserve so much better than this. But its happened, and now all I can do is be here for you if that's what you want."  He reached out and touched her face a little, feeling more able to comfort her physically now he had established his feelings for Aloy with her.  
She sighed, reaching up to his hand and holding it there, leaning into it.  "I wish we could stay here forever. But I know that's just me, holding onto something that isn't real.  Trying to wish it into existence, and the longer I keep you here, the more you are just going to be wanting to be with her instead." She pulled his hand away, holding it in hers, she kissed it lightly, "Go." She told him.  
Erend frowned at her, "Are you sure? You seem..." he trailed off.  
"Upset? Yeah, of course I'm upset. I'm in love with you Erend." She looked him right in the eye, tears in them again. "But I'm not stupid, I see you're in love with her.  I just... need to be alone OK?" She turned away from him, tears now streaming down her face.    
Erend stood, "Look, I can't just leave you here in the dark, crying. Anything could happen.  Let me walk you home."   
Jacinta sighed, but stood up too, "Fine."  She sounded curt, but Erend could tell she was composing herself, trying to stop crying so people wouldn't stare as they walked.  He appreciated that. 

* * *

 

Aloy didn't know how long she'd been in the bath, but the water was cooling, it wasn't  _cold_ yet, but was no longer hot, just... warm.  Sighing she decided it was probably time to get out.  She hadn't heard Erend return yet, sure if he had he'd have come and told her.  So he must still be with Jacinta, what was taking so long? Well, she supposed if they had been lovers, in a relationship, and now he was breaking up with her... I guess that would take a while.  But she didn't want that.  If they'd been in a relationship... frustrated at the thought as she clambered out the bath she tripped, banging herself painfully on the stone floor of the bathroom, she groaned.    
She heard Aneta move towards the door straight away, "Aloy? Are you OK? Do you need help?" she called through the door.  
"No, I just tripped a little.  I'm ok."  
"I've made some food.  I wasn't sure what you wanted so its just a small bit of soup and some bread" Aneta told her.  
"That's great, thanks Aneta, I'll be out in a sec."   
Aloy was going to pull on her clothes again, then remembered they were dirty.  She wondered if she could find some more, wrapping the towel around her she opened the door, Aneta turned, then blushed, turning back around, "I'm sorry!" She said, causing Aloy to laugh a little.   
"Its OK.  I was just wondering if there were some clean clothes I could find." She explained.   
"Oh!" Aneta moved over to the bed, she picked up some silks from the bed, "Erend laid these out? I assume for you..." Aneta looked at the clothes in her hands, a top and long flowing skirt, she raised an eyebrow, "Well. Either they're for you, or he has a real big secret..."   
Aloy laughed, she liked Aneta she decided.  Maybe she could speak with her about Jacinta... After all, it was Aneta that Jacinta spoke to, who better to talk to about what Jacinta had said?  She took the clothes as Aneta passed them over.   
"Thanks" She made to go back to the bathroom, but Aneta spoke up "I was just going back downstairs to tend to dinner.  No need to go anywhere to change.  I'll go dish up?"  
"Sure!" Aloy started to walk over to the bed.  She said down, then realised she was sitting on the side that Erend had laid on as he'd held her just a few hours ago, she found herself absent mindedly stroking the furs.  She shook her head,  _snap out of it!_  

She patted herself down, then as she went to dress she realised, there were no undergarments.  She frowned,  _I guess Erend didn't think of that..._ She put the clothes on anyway, assessing how they looked without undergarments, the skirt, well, you couldn't tell, although it felt odd.  The top, you could  _probably_ tell but, it was only her and Aneta, she decided it didn't matter too much. 

Aneta sat at the table in Erends kitchen, two places set up, she had already dished up some soup into bowls and bread was laid on a plate next to it.  Aloy smiled at her, "Thanks for this Aneta..." Aloy didn't like people doing things for her, she was fiercely independent and hated that being taken away from her.    
"Don't mention it" Aneta replied.   
Aloy sat down, breaking off some bread and dipping it in her soup.  Her mind wandered back to Erend and Jacinta, _what were they talking about? Why was it taking so long?_   She regretted not leaving the night she saw Erend kissing her now, then she'd be almost back at the embrace by now.   
"Are you OK?" Aneta asked, she looked concerned.   
"Yeah, I'm just..." She trailed off, unsure how to finish.  How to describe the complicated relationship she seemed to have with the guards captain.   
Almost as if she could read her mind Aneta asked for her, "Is it Erend?"   
Aloy blinked at her, making Aneta chuckle, "All the vanguard knows he loves you Aloy.  And we can tell you like him too." She explained.  
"You... you can?" Aloy said, how did these people know this when she hadn't known herself!?   
"Yes! Its kinda cute really.  Although, incredibly frustrating."   
Aloy ate some more, mulling over this.  She said the vanguard knew Erend  _loved_ her? She took a deep breath, just, ask!   
"You said the vanguard know he...  _loves_ me? Like...  _ **loves**_ me?" She asked, eyes wide, her breath was hitched, waiting for the reply.  
" **Yes!** " Aneta implored, "Captain was always a bit of a..." She concentrated, trying to think of the word, "he was popular.  I'm sure you can see the appeal." Aneta winked at her as Aloy blushed, "He was never really one for settling into a relationship, said he travelled too much for that.  Didn't wanna be leaving them all the time for work, we all understood that, most of us are the same.  Hard to have relationships in this line of work...  But then he met you.  He changed, almost overnight it was crazy.  He stopped flirting, like, completely.  He  _loved_ flirting, would flirt with anyone! Just for a laugh really, it was just how he spoke to people, its an Oseram thing really, but he stopped.   He told us all about this real pretty, funny girl he met at the proving.  He seemed really sad, because he thought you'd died.  Then when you turned up here after Ersa, he was so happy, well I mean, as happy as you can be when your sister just died.  He got the twinkle back in his eye, and he'd flirt again, but only with you.  We tried to ask about it, but he'd just get defensive, tell us to shut up, but that just confirmed it really.  Normally if we'd joke about girls he'd been flirting with, he'd just roll his eyes, walk away, maybe even join in a little, unless it got too rude.  But with you... we know Erend. We've fought beside him for years, we put our lives in his hands now he is captain, you get to know people pretty well in these situations, we could tell.  He was in love."  

Aloy had listened intently at Anetas explanation, her heart beating fast, she couldn't help grinning at some of it, it was so unbelievably sweet, so  _Erend._ Hearing Anetas description of Erend and how he was left little room for questioning his feelings, but Jacinta loomed over her, like a storm cloud, ready to rain all over her and bring her crashing back to reality like thunder.  
Aneta was regarding her, brow furrowed, then she looked as though she was piecing it together, "Oh Aloy... you heard me telling Erend what Jacinta said..." Aneta looked pained.   
Tears pricked in Aloys eyes, but she steeled herself, not wanting to cry in front of Aneta, but she nodded to let her know she was correct.  Hoping Aneta would be intuitive enough to figure out that this is what was bothering her.   
"Aloy, he loves you.  I dunno what happened with him and Jacinta, but, I can guarantee it meant nothing to him." Aneta told her, reaching out and touching Aloys arm.  
"But, you said Jacinta said they were... lovers" her voice choked at the word.   
"Jacinta is besotted with Erend.  She hopes they are lovers now, shes wanted it forever.  Doesn't make them lovers though, just makes it the fantasy of a barmaid." Aneta said simply.  Aloy wasn't sure that was much better.

A knock at the door broke them from their conversation.  Aneta looked confused looking at Aloy for an explanation, but Aloy just shrugged.  Aneta got up going to answer the door.  Aloy rested her head on the table top, allowing tears to flow now Aneta was gone, she could compose herself when she heard her coming back, and even if she didn't, Aneta wouldn't judge her.   
She heard footsteps, but more than one, she looked up, quickly wiping the tears from her face, but not fast enough.

"Aloy!" Avad was stood in the doorway, a look of concern on his face, he moved towards her, kneeling before her, he stroked her hair behind her ear, "Aloy... what's wrong?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've not had many comments on my last couple of chapters. Just wanna check in with anyone who is still reading how they are feeling about the story and my writing and stuff ^^


	14. Chapter 14

Avad was itching to visit Aloy all day, hoping she would be awake so he could talk to her, he desperately wanted to find out why she had been planning on leaving the city after she had decided against leaving with the rest of the Nora in favour of staying.  What could change her mind so quickly?   
He was noticeably distracted during his duties, which wasn't good given the current condition of his city and the serious nature of his business that day, but he couldn't help it.  Although he could sense that Marad was getting more than a little annoyed at his lack of professionalism.  As soon as business concluded for the day, Avad made a beeline to leave the Palace, but was stopped by Marad  
"Perhaps it would be better to dine first Sire, if she is awake, her and Erend may well be eating themselves at present."  Marad reminded him.  Avad begrudgingly agreed to wait another hour or so and go after he had eaten. 

As they walked to the captains house Avad could barely contain himself at the thought of seeing her, hopefully being able to talk to her, just to hear her voice again now would improve his day dramatically, and he hoped, would ease the tension in his chest that worry for her had built up over the last two days.   
Arriving at Erends house they were greeted by a half asleep Kiln on the door, this did nothing to improve Avads concerns about Aloy, he had posted guards outside the house to keep her safe, how was that happening when they were half asleep!?  He kept quiet for now though, he was Erends employee, he'd mention it to Erend.  Only, when they knocked the person who answered the door wasn't Erend but another member of his vanguard, the only women on it - Aneta. 

"Aneta? Where's Erend?" Avad asked, puzzled.   
"He had to take care of something" came the response, Avad frowned, what could be more important than Aloy right now? "Do come in, Aloy is in the kitchen."  Aneta told them.   
Avads heart soared, so she was awake!  He moved into the house swiftly, making his way to the kitchen, behind him Aneta made to follow, but Marad put his arm out to stop her, beckoning her into the living area instead.   
"I think the king would appreciate some time alone with Aloy" he heard Marad tell her quietly.   
Avad moved towards the kitchen, stopping for a moment in the doorway, almost unable to believe his eyes, she was actually there, awake, looked like she'd even eaten!  Avad was just internally praising the sun for this when he noticed it, tears... she was crying!  He moved towards her, kneeling down in front of her, brushing some hair away from her face, "Aloy... What's wrong?" 

Aloy responded by just throwing her arms around his neck and crying.  Shocked and confused Avad just held her, stroking her hair, whispering soothing words.  What could possibly have gotten his fearless huntress into such a state? And where the fuck was Erend?  This is exactly the reason why he should be here!  Surely comforting Aloy was Erends job now, not that Avad minded doing it, but holding Aloy close whilst knowing she belonged to another killed him a little.    
Her crying was subsiding, she stepped back out of his arms, he looked at her, saying nothing, just looking, right into her eyes, he silently asked for an explanation.   
"Sorry" she sniffed.  
"Aloy, don't be sorry, you never have to be sorry with me" he rubbed her arms, "An explanation would be good though.  I thought after you left the palace to find Erend you'd be happy now, poisoning not-withstanding of course.  But you aren't crying because you were poisoned, that much I do know."   
Aloy shook her head, she looked as though she was thinking how to explain everything.    
"Why don't we start from the beginning.  You left to find Erend but the next day he told me you didn't find him?"   
"Oh I found him" Aloy said darkly, the dark tone in her voice startled Avad.  He grabbed Aloy by the hand, pulling her out of the kitchen to find a separate, more comfortable room to talk in.  He passed through the living area, ignoring Marad and Aneta, pulling Aloy into a room beside it that contained a desk, chairs, sofa, he sat on the sofa, pulling Aloy down beside him.  

"That's better.  More comfortable, and private.  You did find him?"  One arm was resting behind her on the back of the sofa, as he spoke he lifted his arm up to stroke at the hair by her face.   
"Yes, at the bar he frequents... kissing a barmaid that works there."  Avads eyes widened.   _What?  But, he knew Erend had a soft spot for Aloy, it was obvious enough, and he knew the vanguard teased him about it.  Why would he be kissing another women if he liked Aloy?_ Avad pushed his anger aside pulling Aloy into his chest.  
"Oh Aloy..." He didn't know what else to say, what could you say?    
"I just left the bar, I ran back to Olins, I was gonna leave that night but, I was too upset.  Bit of a mess really..." she spoke into his chest now, he tried to distract himself from the feel of her warm breath on it as she spoke.  
"You should've come back to the palace.  You didn't need to be alone." He told her.  Silence fell between them for a while before he spoke again, "So that's why you were leaving the next morning?" he asked.  
"Yes.  I didn't want to stay and watch Erend be happy with someone else, I'm not that strong." She said, Avad let go, pushing her away then grabbing her face in his hands.  
" **No**! You are strong, you are one of the strongest women I've ever known.  Fearless hunter, machine tamer, you saved Meridian, no,  _you saved the_ _ **world**_.  You are strong, and brave and capable."  His eyes never left hers as he spoke, there was hurt behind him and he wished he could take it away, he rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks, resisting the mounting desire to kiss her.   
"Not with these things I'm not" she spoke softly, barely a whisper.  One of his hands moved to stroke the back of her head.  
"We can't be good at everything.  You can't be expected to be very good at dealing with this kind of thing after being an outcast.  Its OK Aloy, its not a bad thing."  She was looking down, but flicked her eyes up at that meeting his.  Another stretch of silence fell between them, during which Avad struggled to keep his emotions in check, his anger at his vanguard captain for hurting her, his desire to kiss her, hold her, make everything better. 

Again he broke the silence, "So where is Erend? I'm surprised he left you."  He didn't hide his tone, his anger about it creeping in.    
"He's with her."  Aloy said glumly.   
"What?   **What?**  You're here  _poisoned_ and he's off on a  _date!?_ Are you kidding me right now??" Avad was now, livid.  What in the world was Erend playing at!? He thought his captain was a better man than this.  Sure when Aloy had said she loved Erend not him it had hurt, more than hurt, but he'd taken some solace in that at least she loved a good man, who wouldn't hurt her.  He almost wanted to laugh at the irony of how that was working out for them!  How wrong he had been.  
"Your coming back to the palace."  Avad said, pulling her up.   
"What? No, I can't just leave... Erend will be worried-"  
"-Fuck Erend." Avad interrupted her abruptly, stunning her into silence.  She looked at him wide eyed, brow slightly furrowed, he couldn't hold it back anymore, he kissed her, hard.  Her face was in his hands as he held it tightly, he kissed her with everything he had, he pushed every feeling into it.  His anger at Erend, his worry about her, his feelings for her, everything.   What surprised him was she let him, kissing back, they seemed to stay locked together in that kiss for an eternity, but Avad didn't care he never wanted it to end.  But it did, he stopped, resting his forehead against hers they both gasped, panting for air. 

The door to their room bust open.   
" **What the fuck is going on?** " Came the stern voice of the captain.  Avad wheeled round, anger rising again.   
"I could ask you the same thing!" He said, glaring at him.  Erend looked back, brow furrowed in confusion, "Don't look at me like that, what the hell are you playing at? Leaving her here alone so you can what?  Go off on a date!?  I didn't argue to bring her back to the Palace because I thought she'd be in good hands, with  _you_.  Not your lackeys."    
Erend looked shocked, eyes darting between Avad and Aloy, he spluttered, "What? I don't, I wasn't.   **Fuck.** "  He was looking at Aloy now.  He moved passed Avad, as if he wasn't even there, "Aloy... shit.  You heard me and Aneta talking about Jacinta?"  Aloy nodded at him, Avad noticed tears forming again in her eyes and moved back towards them, wanting to push Erend away from her, but the captain was already there, his hands on her shoulders, "Aloy I feared this might happen after I left whilst I was walking to meet her."  
"You can't have it all Erend.  You can't have Aloy  _and-_ "  
"Would you shut up?" The captain said, loudly talking over him, stunning Avad into silence,  _he can't talk to  me like that!_ "Aloy, so far as I was concerned, there was nothing between me and Jacinta.  I mean, besides that night.  But there was no more to it, she just, ran off with the idea that because of what happened that night, and her feelings for me, it meant, or could mean, we could be together.  But it didn't, it never did, I never intended that."  He looked back at the King, looking angry "I wasn't on a fucking date.  I was just setting the records straight, fixing my mistake from the other night.  You think I wanted to leave Aloy? Do you even know me Avad!?"  Silence fell over the room, Erend and Avad staring each other down.   Erend spoke again first.   
"By the sun Avad, I've loved Aloy since I first met her at the proving.   _Months_ ago.  I've been up with her, caring for her all day yesterday well into the night, I had a meal planned for her tonight, if she could eat it.  I never wanted to leave her side,  but setting Jacinta right was important to, for Jacintas sake and for Aloys!"  There was still anger and annoyance in his voice, but also a slight plea to it, as if he was asking Avad to understand.  Aloy was looking at Erend, also digesting some of what he had just admitted to, but also looking as though he understood him, as if his words had laid to rest the concerns she had been having. 

Avad didn't know what to think, he hated the way Aloy was looking at Erend right now.  He watched as Erend turned back to face her, placing a hand on her face, tangling her hair into it.  
"Aloy, I want  _you_.  Everything we spoke about earlier, everything I said it was true.  I made a terrible mistake, and I'm sorry for it, I can never hope to make it up to you.  But please don't think I wanted to leave you today.  I didn't.  I just.." He was rambling now, repeating himself, even Avad could feel the sincerity of his words.  He was still angry at the captain for hurting Aloy, but, he recognised it had been an error, made before he found out Aloy reciprocated his feelings for her, and now he was just doing his best to to set things right.  He was torn again between relief that Erend was infact still a good man, who cared for Aloy, and sadness that this once again meant Aloy wouldn't be his.  Which was obvious as she hushed him, moving closer to him to embrace him.   
Avad closed his eyes, not wanting to be privy to the moment they were sharing.  Then her voice spoke, "Avad?" He opened his eyes, he saw Erend had left, the door was closed again, it was just him and Aloy.  
"Will you be OK? I'm sorry, I keep, dragging you into this, its not fair on you..." Aloy looked him apologetically, struggling to meet his eyes he could see she was wracked with guilt over it all.  
"Aloy its fine, I told you, you never have to be sorry with me.  I want to help you." He reached out holding her shoulders.  "Now never mind if  _I'm_ going to be OK, are  _you_ going to be OK?" He searched her face, she looked better, happier.   
"Yes I'll be fine." She smiled at him.  
"Are you sure? Because its OK to admit you're still hurting, even after his nice words and attempt to comfort you.  If you need some space away..." He trailed off, she knew he was offering her room to stay at the palace if she needed it.  
"If I need it I will use it, I know its there.  But I'm fine, I think me and Erend need to talk some more tonight."    
Avad sighed, "OK, if you're sure, I will leave, but tomorrow morning I'll be back, and we need to discuss who poisoned you." He stroked her cheek.   Aloy moved closer to him, she moved up to kiss him on the cheek, he moved, catching her head before she left and pressed a chaste, but lingering kiss to her lips.  
"Until tomorrow." He said, caressing her, "and remember, if you need me... just say." 


	15. Chapter 15

Erend lightly kissed the top of Aloys head as they hugged, he just wanted to stay holding her forever, but she stepped away and he heard her murmur, "Could you give me a couple of minutes with Avad?"   
Truth be told he had already forgotten that the sun-king was even in the room with them, suddenly blushing slightly at their display of affection.   He remembered the way they'd been standing when he came into the room, close together, foreheads touching, staring into each others eyes... his stomach squirmed, the last thing he wanted to do was let Aloy be along with Avad.  But he nodded anyway.  He kissed her forehead and turned to leave, looking over he noticed Avad was standing with his eyes closed as though he didn't want to be privy to their affectionate display. 

He left the room, closing the door behind him he turned and rested against it.  
 _What a mess_ , he was still smarting from the way Avad had been speaking to him.  The king really was angry at him, not that he could blame him, Aloy had clearly been crying and upset, she'd obviously thought the worst about his meeting with Jacinta that day, and knowing how Avad felt about her, he could understand his reaction.  Hell he'd have had the same reaction.  But it hurt none the less that someone who he considered a friend, someone who he thought knew him better could think he would be so callous.   
 _Never mind Avad, what about Aloy, how are you going to make it up to her?  Show her that she's the one you love and want?_ Erend sighed, moving away from the door as he heard Aloy talking to Avad.  He walked towards his living area where Aneta and Marad had been when he came home, Blameless Marad sat alone now, he turned when Erend entered the room  
"Aneta has gone to relieve poor Kiln." Marad informed him,  penetrating his thoughts, Erend ran a hand through his hair,  _fuck.  Kiln had worked practically all day now..._ Erend sighed heavily, sitting down in a chair beside Marad, head in his hands.  He could feel the older mans eyes on him, but he didn't move to change his sitting position.    
"Is everything OK? I heard raised voices..." Marad enquired, one eyebrow arched.  Erend moved, bring a hand down his face as he did so.   
"It's complicated."  Was all he could offer in response.  What was he meant to say? Don't worry about it me and the king are just fighting over a girl!? He doubted Marad would be impressed.   
"I don't believe it is as complicated as you all think it may be."  Marad said cryptically,  _what in all the kingdom does that mean?_ Erend shot him a quizzical look.  Marad looked amused, "I believe Aloy has made her feelings on the situation quite clear.  She did not accept Avads proposal, and informed him in no uncertain terms that she had feelings for you.  I am at a loss as to what the three of you find complicated here."  Marad was still smiling in amusement.    
Erend mulled it over, everything he said was correct, however he couldn't help but feel he was oversimplifying it, Marad spoke again  
"You think I'm oversimplifying it, but perhaps you are just over-complicating it.  Avad too.  Of course, Aloy getting poisoned did make this somewhat more complicated, but what I said before remains true regardless." 

Erend was looking over at Marad in some disbelief when Avad walked into the room.  The king approached them, he looked over at Erend, "Erend, please, allow me to apologise for my behaviour towards you tonight.  You are correct, I should know you better than to belief you would wish to leave Aloy, or hurt her."  
Erend grunted, "S'ok, I understand your concern."   
"I've told Aloy I will return tomorrow morning, I need to speak with you both about what happened to her.  Now that she is awake, perhaps we can begin to look into the matter." Avads diplomatic, business like attitude had returned quite abruptly, a far cry from the rather emotional version of himself that had been in the room with Aloy, Erend noted.    
He nodded at the king, "Yes, that seems like a good idea.  Now she's getting better, it will be hard to keep her confined to the house, she'll want to get out there and help.  We need to make sure she'll be safe... And, others of course.." he added the caveat, realising that just because Aloy had been poisoned this time, didn't mean that it was only Aloy being targeted, it may have simply been mere coincidence, although what the merchant had said to her made that unlikely.   
Avad nodded, "Well, I will see you in the morning Erend."  And he moved away briskly, Marad gave Erend a lingering look then followed the king. 

Erend put his head back into his hands and sighed heavily.  Now it was just him and Aloy again, the thought should make him happy, he'd wanted nothing more than to be alone with her since he'd left to see Jacinta, but now, after all that had happened, he wasn't so sure.  He didn't know what to say to her.   
Lost in his thoughts he jumped when he felt hands on his wrists, he moved his own hands away from his face and saw Aloy sitting in front of him looking concerned.  
"Are you OK?" She asked him.  He couldn't help but think it should be him asking her that.  He struggled to find the words, he was hurt that they had thought so badly of him, but also, felt he had deserved that judgement.  Was it fair to place it at her feet and make her feel bad for thinking it when it was his actions that had caused the thoughts to begin with? 

Aloy spoke first, "Look, I know, I got ahead of myself, I overheard part of your conversation with Aneta about going to see Jacinta and... I got all worried and upset and didn't hear the rest.  Aneta tried to set me straight over food, but Avad came and interrupted..." She sighed.  "I understand why you went to see her.  I just got concerned there was some truth to what she'd been saying about you two being lovers, I didn't want to cause you to break up with anyone."   
Erend pulled her towards him, so she was sitting on his lap, "Your the only person I've ever even began to think about in terms of having a real relationship." He admitted.  
The news didn't seem to be a surprise to Aloy, "Yes, Aneta said you weren't really one for relationships... work and travel being how it is.  So how did it go anyway?"  She rested herself against him, pushing him back into the chair so she was lying on his chest.  He stroked her hair.    
"About as well as can be expected.  She was just finishing work, which was good, so I took her somewhere quiet, away from people.  I think she had already guessed this anyway."   
"If she had guessed, why did she say you were together?" Aloy frowned.  
"Hope I suppose... I dunno.  She liked me for ages..." Erend laughed a little "dunno why!"   
Aloy got up, looking at him, "Hey... don't say that, who wouldn't want you?"  She was stroking his face, eyes boring into him.  He tore away his from her gaze, embarrassed.  "I know me and Avad didn't make it seem like we believed you were but.  We do, well I do.  Why else would I be so worried about you being out with her anyway?" She hit him lightly on the chest, "was sure you'd realise she was much better than me! Nice dignified Carja, not some outcast nora savage... So pretty and elegant, not... whatever I am, which is not pretty or elegant" Aloy smirked at him.  Erends eyes were wide,  _what? She does't think she's pretty?  By the sun...  
  
_ "Aloy... no one is better than you, you're perfect.  I don't want some posh carja girl, and your not a savage, but even if you were you'd still be perfect to me.  Don't you remember what I said earlier today? About other girls not holding up a candle to you?"  Aloy nodded slowly, blushing slightly at his words.  "Well I meant that Aloy.  To me you are stunning.  Sure Jacinta looks good, but she dresses herself up, puts on all that Carja make up and jewels to make herself look good.  You, you look beautiful even after fighting a war, you look beautiful even covered in dirt and ash.  Aloy there's a reason the king wants to marry you!"  
She moved down to him, there faces meeting, for a moment before she kissed him she searched his eyes, he wasn't sure what she expected to find there but he held her gaze, hoping the sincerity of his words was apparent in them.   Then she kissed him, softly, her lips ghosting across his she pressed her head against his forehead he opened his eyes to look at her, but her eyes were shut, brow furrowed a little in thought.   He drank her in, she was so close he could count the freckles on her face.   
"I'm just not used to people saying nice things to me, nice things  _about_ me" she said eventually, opening her eyes looking at him.  The thought of it broke Erends heart a little, someone as special and stunning as Aloy should be told that often, she should know how brilliant she was, instead she had no idea.  
"Well then, you better get used to it."  He said it like a command, and he pulled her closer, kissing her hard.  

* * *

Aloy grinned into Erends kiss, he really did know just what to say to her to make her feel better.  She adjusted her position on his lap, straddling him a little, she cupped his face in her hands deepening the kiss.  
All thoughts of Avad and how he'd kissed her had vanished, replaced with nothing but this moment right now.  She could feel Erend pouring himself into the kiss, desperately trying to show her how he felt about it through it.  So much passion and yearning, but also tenderness, she found herself moaning slightly at how good it felt.  Erend broke the kiss, and instead began to pepper light kisses down her jawline onto her neck, where he bit her gently, making her jump in surprise, but also moan in delight.  Her arms were round his neck, hands in his hair, she pulled at it gently.  
She felt him move down, kissing down her collarbone, everywhere he touched her skin felt on fire, like he was making her come alive with his touch.  She breathed his name, feeling his hands slide under her top tickling at the skin on her back, suddenly she became aware that she wasn't wearing any undergarments, but she didn't have time to feel self conscious as his lips found hers again, whilst his strong arms lifted her up as he stood.  She yelped wrapping her legs tight around his torso, her arms around his neck, but their lips remained locked in a steady kiss.  

She felt him moving, walking towards the stairs, as he reached them he pushed her against a wall, his kisses hard, his hands all over her skin, brushing under her breasts, not quite touching them, but so achingly close.   She untangled her legs from him, and allowed herself to be pulled up the stairs with him, their kissing slowing as they climbed.   
As they made their way down the hall, she began to unbutton his shirt, wanting to get to his skin, feel his chest as she'd thought about what seemed like an eternity ago when they had gone to the bar.  He wasted no time in helping her claw it off,  he threw the shirt on the floor, and Aloy put her hands on his chest, pushing him against the wall this time, marvelling at the feel of the rough hair and hard muscles as she stroked her hands down his chest, Erend moaned into her kiss causing her to open her eyes to look at him, finding him staring back at her, his hands had found their way back under her own shirt, pulling at it she knew he wanted her to take it off.  The slight embarrassment she felt at that thought was soon overtaken by the much greater desire to feel his skin against hers, and she shrugged off her shirt, discarding it as he had on the floor of the landing.  One hand held the back of her head, the other her back as he moved away from the wall towards her kissing her gently, lovingly, reining in his eagerness.  

He began to pull her once more, towards his bedroom, moving to push her through the door first, her back towards the room she felt her legs hit the bed as he pushed her onto it.  She lay down on her back watching as he took off his trousers, freeing his already erect penis.  She gasped, eyes wide at the sheer size of him.  He turned back to her, positioning himself on top of her he kissed her again, once more trailing down her neck towards her collarbone, then even lower, kissing over her breasts, squeezing them gently, he continued even further, hands moving under the waistband of the skirt she was wearing, tugging it down until she was naked beneath him, he threw the skirt aside and sat up looking down at her.  She squirmed, becoming uncomfortable at his gaze.  She looked up at him frowning, he bent down, one arm around her waist, another on her face, "You're so beautiful, Aloy" he told her, kissing her again, she could feel his cock pressing against her own sex which felt hot and wet.  

She wanted him, by the sun she wanted him, but suddenly she panicked.  She'd never done this before, he'd probably done it a hundred times.  What if she was bad?  Her heart was beating fast, both from excitement and anxiety.   _Not like this._  She turned her head away from his kiss, her arms pushing him away.   
"Aloy? What's wrong?"   
"I just...I've never..." She wasn't sure how to word it, she felt like she was letting him down, but Erend moved off her straight away, lying beside her he pulled her into a hug, his arms wound tight around her as he pulled her backwards towards him.  She could feel his erection pressing against her back.  "I'm sorry" she whispered.   
"Turn around" she heard him say, she did so, he left one arm under her, but clutched her face with his free hand "Don't ever be sorry.  You never have to do something your not comfortable with.  I'm happy for whatever I get." He told her, his plea for her not to be sorry, echoing Avads.   
She moved in and kissed him, enjoying the feel of their naked bodies touching each other.  

She didn't know how long they were like that for, lying in bed, kissing hands running over each other.  But after a while she began drifting, she turned around again, her back towards him, he pulled her back into his tight embrace.  She sighed happily, feeling safe and content.  But most of all, loved. 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Aloy woke up, brow furrowing at the light streaming onto her face.  It took her a moment to register the heavy arm draped around her body, the warm feel of someone next to her, slightly longer still to realise that she was naked.  She started, eyes snapping open, she turned around to see Erend propped up, looking at her.   
"Mornin'" he greeted.  Suddenly memory came flooding back, and she relaxed, cuddling into him.   
"Were you watching me sleep?" She queried, eyebrow raised.  Erend blushed a little.   
"Maybe" he said playfully.  
"Didn't you have enough of that whilst I was out of it from the poison?" She teased.  
"This is different! You aren't poisoned anymore! And you looked all happy."  He stroked her hair, leaning down for a kiss, which she happily returned realising that she  _was_ happy, really happy.  She felt so much better too, rested.   As they kissed, her stomach growled, she suddenly realised how hungry she was, although the noise of her stomach made her blush.  Erend laughed at her, "Well.  Guess we're getting up then" he teased.   
"Part of me doesn't want to, well actually, its only my stomach that really wants to" Aloy admitted, Erend chuckled at her, kissing her forehead "I know the feeling" he murmured, but then turned and swung out of the bed, looking around for his clothes. Aloy sat up in the bed, also looking for her clothes a long skirt fell onto her head, she jumped in surprise, hearing Erend laughing as he left the room briefly before returning and throwing her top at her, which is when she remembered she had meant to speak to him about underwear...   
"Erend..." she started, stopping, unsure of how to word this delicate matter.  
"mmm?" His voice was muffled as he was pulling on his shirt, his head popped out, looking at her quizzically, slight concern on his face, "Aloy?"

She fingered the clothing, "I was just wondering... it was after I came out the bath and I realised, you didn't.  These were all the clothes you gave me..." She hoped it would be enough but Erend just looked confused.  
"Yeah..." he said, clearly wondering what the issue was, Aloy sighed frustrated.  
"Well I was hoping that maybe, there was something more I could wear?... you know,  _underneath..._ " she implored.  Erends eyes went wide, suddenly realising what she was asking for.   
"OH! Oh, I'm sorry I didn't think! Yeah, erm... Come with me..." he walked towards the door, pausing to wait for her.  She got up out the bed, wrapping a fur around her for modesty and followed him, he walked a little ways down the hall, stopping by the only other door.  
"This is... _was_ Ersas room... I'm sure she will have something you could use.  But, its best if you look for yourself.  I don't really want to..." He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  Aloy understood, of course he didn't want to go pawing through his sisters underwear drawers! "I'll go start cooking." He said, kissing her on the cheek before going downstairs. 

Aloy felt weirdly nervous as she stood outside the room, hand wrapped around the doorknob, it felt as though she would be intruding to enter, despite having Erends permission.  But she didn't really want to meet Avad this morning without underwear on, so she opened the door, and tentatively stepped in.    
The room was much similar to Erends, with a dark wooden bed, a desk and chair by the window.  Dust had settled over the furnishings in the absence of use over the past few months, various items were left out and about, hairbrush on the table, papers scattered on the desk, a book by the bed.  The room was likely exactly how Ersa had left it the night she went to meet Dervhal.   
Aloy walked slowly to a cabinet, atop it laid a small amount of shards, some jewellery and carja perfumes and some make up, across from her was a mirror, she caught site of herself in it, surprised at her own reflection, how she looked with just the fur wrapped around herself.  Even she wasn't used to seeing herself without armour on.   
The cabinet had several draws, she slowly eased open the top one, finding it full of papers, letters, keepsakes.  Curiosity peaked and Aloy found herself thumbing through them, noticing letters in there from both Erend and Avad.  She picked out one from Erend, reading it carefully, and with difficulty in some places due to smuding; 

_Dear Ersa_

_I'm happy you like it down there, I was worried you'd find it too warm! No more snowball fights for you in the near future then huh?_  
_Please be careful, I don't think I could cope if I lost you too.  The village held a pyre for our parents last night.  I missed you there, I could've used your help.  I tried to say a few words for them, be strong like you told me, but I'm not as strong as you are. But I guess that's why you've gone south to avenge them, and I've stayed here.  Not gonna lie, its kinda embarrassing._  
_Seriously though, please take care.  Jiran is crazy, him and his men will cut you down if they see you.  I'm gonna keep mentioning this you know. Especially since you went into a Carja town.  What were you thinking? I don't care you bought Carja clothes, have you seen yourself Ersa? Don't tell me you've been down there long enough to get a tan!_

_I'm not sure I trust this Avad.  How do we know he isn't as mad as his father?  Perhaps worse.  You'd be better off staying away from the Carja.  Come back to the tribe Ersa, where your safe.  Well.  Relatively safe.  We miss you.  I miss you, and I need you._

The rest of the writing became too smudged and scrawled to read, Aloy suspected he was drinking as he wrote it.  Below it she saw another letter, this one from Avad,

_Ersa,_

_It was lovely to meet you the other night.  I thank the sun for our opportunity to meet, despite the circumstances.  I am saddened by the needless slaughter of your people, including your parents.  I cannot even begin to express my sorrow and guilt.  My father must be stopped.  I will do everything in my power to help you in your endeavours.  I had been planning to try to amass a small force of my own, not too big to attract attention, but enough that we might be able to storm the city and take control.  After meeting you last night, there is no doubt in my mind that you would be perfect to assist me with this, and I'd be honoured to have you lead this group of people.  
_

_I hope you accept my offer.  My father has to visit some dignitaries at an Estate south of Meridian in a few days time, it will be dangerous, but it is in the Oasis, and I hope the cover of the plant life and trees will help.  I should be able to get away whilst he does his business.  I hope to see you there and we can discuss this matter more._

_This probably goes without saying to someone as astute as you, but do not respond to my letters.  I cannot guarantee they won't fall into the wrongs hands, then these plans will all be for naught.  
Once again, my sincerest condolences for the loss of your parents.  Please send these to your brother, I hope he is OK.  Perhaps he too could join the cause here?  I'd be more than happy to have him, it is the least I can do for your both._

_Avad._

So this was how the vanguard had started, all because of a chance meeting between Avad and Ersa.  It was clear Avad had been impressed by Ersa from the start, although his letter was as businesslike and diplomatic as Avad ever was, it also conveyed feeling and fondness of the Oseram women.  Despite knowing how it turned out, she couldn't help but want to read more, and so she turned to the next letter.  
  
_Dear Ersa_

_Are you crazy?  Your going to go practically to Meridian!? Right by an estate where the Mad Sun King himself is going to be?? To meet his son!?  Ersa stop this madness! Come home!  I don't give a stuff how much that pompous twat says he's sorry.  He's probably only sorry the entire family wasn't killed.  Why do you trust him so? His father killed our parents!! I fear you have gone mad with grief.  Ersa please come home.  We can get through this better together.  Please._

_Erend_

Aloys heart tugged reading Erends desperation and worry conveyed in the letter.  His fear for his sister, his only remaining family member was all too clear and she could understand that fear completely.  Given what he knew so far he had no reason to trust Avad, and she knew she'd feel the same in his position. The next letter was also from Erend.

_Ersa,_

_I see I cannot stop you now.  Please, wait for me.  I'm leaving tomorrow at first light, whatever you do don't meet this man alone in the wilderness.  Let us meet him together, where the odds are weighted more in our favour.  Then perhaps we can return home together._

_Erend_

So Erend had only come to Meridian to bring Ersa back, and for fear of her safety.  She moved to the next letter which was predictably from Avad,

_Ersa and Erend,_

_I was surprised to see you at all Ersa, let alone your brother too.  Ersa, you are probably still concerned about me, I am fine.  Yes I have a black eye, but its OK.  When I returned to the Estate I picked a fight with my brother in order to hide it.  I also hold no grudges to Erend, don't be upset with him, I completely understand his anger._

_Ersa, I am overjoyed you will help!  Erend too, as I know he will help, if only to ensure your safety.  But that is good.  At least I know someone is watching your back, keeping you safe.  As much as I am pleased we met, and happy you came to meet me in the Oasis, you do seem a little unconcerned about your own safety, your brother is right to be cautious.  However your lack of concern and trust in me has worked in our favour this time.  Hopefully in the favour of Meridian._

_I am not sure when I will be able to get away to meet up with you next.  I entrust it to you to form this militia, but please do so quietly, if you can attempt to keep my name out of it, that would be best.  I know my father would have no qualms about just simply killing me should he realise what I am doing.  I will endeavour to get to you as much information as you need to assist you, along with anything else you might require._

_Once again, do not respond to this letter.  I will write again when we can meet.  
Erend - despite the black eye, it was a pleasure to meet you.  I hope you can learn to trust me as your sister does given time. _

_Avad_

Aloy chuckled quietly to herself.  So Erend had found Ersa and they'd met with Avad together, and Erend had punched him.  Typical Erend, all gungho.  She could imagine Ersas shock as she chastised her younger brother, rushing to assist Avad.  She smiled fondly, then a noise at the door broke her thoughts.    
"Erend! I..." She realised how bad this looked on her part.  Sat here, surrounded by Ersas personal letters, clearly engrossed in them.  She turned red. "I am so sorry."  
Erend walked towards her, sombre expression on his face, Aloy was sure he was angry with her, and berated herself internally for her behaviour.  He knelt beside her, looking over the letters, it was a little while before he spoke.   
"Didn't even know she still had these..."   
"Erend I didn't mean to pry..." Aloy started, but Erend interrupted her,   
"No, its fine, really.  I wasn't angry" He said, reassuringly, he probably noticed the worried look on her face, "Just surprised she still had all these." He let out a short laugh as he saw the letter she was holding, "I remember that meeting... Ersa was so angry with me, I was angry with her too though.  We argued for days.  Well, months really.  She kept telling me to piss off back to the Oseram if I didn't want to help Avad, but I never did, obviously."  
Aloy listened, wanting to know more about his life.  "You argued for  _months?"_ She said, shocked.  Erend laughed.   
"Yeah.  Both as stubborn as each other!  And it was months before we met Avad again, in fact, even after that meeting it was another few weeks before I stopped arguing with her about him and finally kinda trusted the guy."  
"What happened to change your mind?"  
"When we next met him, Ersa had gathered a few men.  But we needed money, for armour and weapons, also perhaps to pay some people to help.  Not all will help out of morality.  So Ersa asked for either money or access to supplies of armour and weapons.  Avad said he'd see what he could do, I had scoffed at the time, sure he wouldn't come through, but within a matter of weeks he did.  He met us again with a horde of shards in his possession, and handed it all over.  Said he'd tried to get access to weapons and armour too, but it was too risky and bulky to sneak out the city with.  That's when I knew he was serious." 

Aloy nodded, "Your letters to Ersa are sweet." She told him, he blushed, looking over the first one.  
"I felt like such a coward.  Our parents were slaughtered and Ersa was so angry, she packed up and left to get revenge almost instantly.  I could've gone with her if I'd asked, but I didn't I just begged her not to leave, to stay with me.  Went on and on about how I couldn't be alone." He sounded almost disgusted at himself, "Then I just let her leave.  Anything could've happened."   
Aloy placed moved and hugged him, "Don't be too hard on yourself, you'd just lost your parents.  Not wanting Ersa to leave is completely reasonable.  I'm sure she appreciated you staying behind, giving your parents a proper send off."  She felt him hold her tight, clinging to her slightly.    
"Yeah.  Maybe."   
They stayed sitting on Ersas floor, hugging for a while, until Erend moved suddenly, making Aloy jump a little, "Anyway.  I only came up to say breakfast was ready..." 

Aloy scrambled to collect all the papers, standing up and putting them back in the draw.   
"Oh great! I still need to find some underwear, then I'll be right down!" She told him, Erend left to leave but she quick grabbed his hand, "Erend? Are you OK?"   
"Course I'm OK, your here." He smiled at her, eyes full of warmth, she smiled back, letting him go.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored yesterday, so I made Erend, Aloy and Jacinta in The Sims :P http://imgur.com/a/cRO6x


	17. Chapter 17

Erend made his way downstairs, leaving Aloy to dress herself, thinking about the letters.  He hadn't realised Ersa had kept them, it was kind of ironic, because, he had kept the ones she had sent him too.  Recently, he'd found himself reading them, over and over, the only remaining remnants of her he had left.   
He'd been surprised when Aloy seemed worried when he caught her reading the letters, then he realised she had been concerned he was angry with her.  It was only then that he realised he probably should have been, after all they were private letters of Ersas, but he hadn't been, he had found it endearing really.  Realising she had just been curious to know more about Ersa and possibly himself. 

He plated up some bacon sandwiches, recalling how much Aloy had enjoyed them last time she had had breakfast at his house, it seemed like a lifetime ago.  He smiled as she walked in, seeing her notice the sandwiches and grin at him, "You remembered I like these!" She exclaimed.  
"Of course I did!" He told her.   
Last time they had eaten together, she had sat across from him at the table, today however, she pulled the chair around, sitting close him.  After she sat down, she leant over, kissing him lightly on the cheek.  He still couldn't quite believe it what was happening, that this was all real, it felt like some really elaborate dream.  He reached out and touched her leg, stroking it a little, he still felt nervous about touching her, as though he were worried she would be angry with him for crossing a boundary, which was ridiculous after they had just spent the night naked and cuddled up together.    
Either way he was aware he had to take it slowly, and he did  **not** want to mess this up, so he would take it at her pace, follow her lead, let her make the first moves. 

They were just clearing away their dishes when they heard the door.  Erend felt his heart sink a little, he just wanted to spend time alone with Aloy, he immediately felt guilty for the thought, the king was here to discuss who poisoned her and what they were going to do about it.  Erend wanted nothing more than to find who had hurt her and cut them down.  
He went with Aloy to answer the door.

* * *

Avad had not had a good night.  Laying awake for most of it, worrying about Aloy, wishing she had come back to the palace with him.  Despite understanding that Erend had not done these things on purpose he couldn't help but feel burning anger towards his captain for hurting the huntress who so dominated his heart.  
He had awoken with the dawn and not wasted anytime in getting up and readying himself to return to see her, he'd learnt something deeply concerning regarding the circumstances of Aloys poisoning, which he urgently needed to get to their attention.  Mostly Erends, as captain of the vanguard, it was him and his men whom Avad would be sending to look into the matter, Aloy still had to rest, and he hoped she would come and stay at the palace whilst Erend was away, so he could keep an eye on her and ensure her safety. 

He left straight after breakfast, not wanting to delay a moment longer.  Marad in tow, they walked quickly the route to the captains home that was becoming so familiar now.  They answered the door together, letting them in Erend gestured to the living area prompting them to sit.  Aloy sat on the sofa, Avad wanted to sit by her, but was stopped in his tracks as she reached out and pulled Erend down to sit next to her instead, grinning at him wildly.  The way they were looking at each other... Avad stared, it hurt, but it was as though he was stuck,  unable to look away until Marad nudged him and he stumbled over to one of the chairs either side of the sofa, all nestled around a small table.  

Marad placed some papers down on the table.  Erend was watching Avad now, serious look in his eyes, Aloy however, was still looking at Erend, as though he was the only person in the room.  Avad felt he would give the whole sundom to see her look at him that way.  Noticing the kings incapacity, Marad spoke first, "I've been doing some digging into your poisoning Aloy."  She turned to look at Marad.  
"Oh? Did you find much?"  Avad couldn't help but scoff a little, knowing the multitude of information they had found.  Erend glanced at him, with a look somewhere between confusion and anger.  
"We've discovered a new threat.  To the City..." Avad said.   
Aloys eyes went wide, she looked shocked, but also, tired.  Avad couldn't blame her, she was probably really tired of helping save his city.   
"What? How? I killed Hades!" There was fear in her voice, and Erend put his arm around her.  
"Hey, sshh, its OK, he didn't say it was Hades..." Erend glanced at him over the top of Aloys head, his eyes quietly asking him if it was Hades.  
"Its not Hades.  Its something new.  From outside the kingdom." Avad informed them, "A new tribe.  Seems they have heard of the troubles in Meridian, and seek to overthrow me and take the lands as their own whilst we are weak.  Whilst I am weak." He paused, looking down at the table.  Knowing they had correctly identified his weakness, not as his city that lay in ruins, or the lives of his people, as it really should be as king.  But her.  The brilliant huntress before him, who sat curled into another mans arms.  Somehow, they had identified that she alone was his biggest weakness.  The thought shook him to the core that he had been so easily readable by these outlanders, and that it could have cost Aloy her life. 

"They call themselves The Dakasha.  They seem to understand far more about the old ones and machines and technology than anyone from within the claim." Marad informed them, "They all possess focuses like your, Aloy.  Like the Banuk, they have no fear of machines and use them to their advantage."   
They all sat in silence for a while, digesting this sobering thought.  They were not in any position to fight another war right now, least of all one with such an advanced tribe.  Finally Aloy spoke, the question Avad feared she would ask, one that he did not like to answer in front of Erend, especially given how affectionately they were acting towards each other at present. 

"What does this have to do with me? Why did they poison  _me?_ "  She looked at Avad, their eyes meeting for the first time that day.  They lingered, looking at each other intently for a while, before Avad tore his gaze away, guilt creeping up.    
"Avad? Why would they hurt Aloy?" Erend too seemed to want to know the answer, of course he would.    
"Because of me." He whispered.  He was staring at the floor now, unable to look his companions in the eye.   
"What?" He heard Aloys shocked voice, followed by Erends angry one, "What did you do Avad?"

He looked up at them, as expected Aloy looked surprised, concerned, waiting for more information, Erend looked angry.   
"Nothing, nothing like that" he said hastily, holding his hands up, "I just mean, they know to get to the claim they first need to destabilise me, and they realised how they would best achieve this."  
"You still haven't explained how exactly that involves Aloy" Erend growled, standing up moving towards the king, fists clenched.  Avad lept to his feet too, a sense of defensiveness overtaking his feelings of guilt and embarrassment, "Because I love her!" He barked.  Stunning everyone into silence.  Not least himself.  He had never admitted it before, not truly.  I mean, he had asked her to marry him so the fact he loved her had become more of an unspoken fact, but now, thinking it honestly to himself, saying out loud, made it all seem so  ** _real_**.    
His face flushed red, even Marad was staring at him, eyes wide.  No one had expected this.  He moved his hands to his eyes and forehead, rubbing in frustration.

"By the sun..." he muttered, "I didn't mean that." He said.   
"So, you don't love me?" Came Aloys voice, closer than he expected, he moved his hands away and saw her standing in front of him, confused.   
"No.  Yes.  I mean..."  He was a mess.  His declaration reducing him to blithering child, not a stately king.

Once again Marad came to his rescue, "I think, what Avad means is, we believe they discovered that he had proposed, but that is where their information on the matter ended.  Clearly they have assumed Aloy accepted that proposal, and believe that hurting her is the most efficient way to force Avad to hand over the crown in an amicable fashion.  Possibly they believe that this will make the change in leadership more tolerated by the people than if they were to start another war."

Avad sagged with relief.  What would he do without Marad.

* * *

Erend was beside himself.  He fucking _**what!?**_ He loved her? First his sister, now Aloy!?  What was it with this man and wanting to take away the people closest to him?  Also what the fuck happened to his feelings for Ersa? Where did they suddenly disappear to!?   
Aloy had moved to standing in front of the king, questioning his sudden declaration of love for her, but Erend just wanted to pull her away, wrap his arms around her.  She was _**his.**_ He knew this was possessive, and unhealthy though.  Aloy was her own person, and fiercely independent, he couldn't take that away from her, and honestly, he wouldn't want to, it was a part of her and he loved her.   _All of her._

Marad gave more of an explanation of what they thought, but Erend could tell he was just trying to smooth over the tension in the room.  His mind was reeling with all the information he'd just learnt.  A new tribe, from beyond the claim... Who wanted to hurt Aloy because they believed she was going to marry Avad.  What could they hope to do against this tribe?  He needed time to process this information, about the tribe  _and_ Avads feelings.  Possibly also how those feelings effected his budding relationship with Aloy, although he didn't like to admit that.  He hoped there'd be no effect, but she still stood in front of Avad, looking at him intently, her eyes hadn't moved from his face in all this time.

The sinking feeling that he was losing her crept back into the pit of Erends stomach again.  He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Aloy stood in front of Avad, brow furrowed, searching his face, or trying to anyway, but the king was refusing to meet her gaze.   Clearly embarrassed by his sudden confession.   She didn't know why it surprised her so much, he had asked her to marry him, isn't that what people in love usually do?  Get married.  
She hoped Erend had been listening to what Marad had just said because she sure as hell hadn't been, reality told her that wasn't likely though. 

"Avad..." Her voice came out pleading, concerned.  Finally he looked at her.   
"Look Aloy.  Yes I love you, but its OK.  I'm fine.  I want you to be happy even if it isn't with me.  Right now, we have more pressing concerns."  He took her hands in his, squeezing gently.  She narrowed her eyes, looking at him.  If he didn't feel OK about this, he was hiding it well, she couldn't read him.   Sighing she removed her hands from his grasp, turning she looked at Erend, he looked worried.  She placed a comforting hand to his arm and moved past him to sit back down on the sofa.  
"Sorry, Marad, I didn't really hear what you said, before." She said running her hands through her hair.

Marad tutted, "I said, we think they know that Avad proposed to you, but do not know the outcome of that.  I'm confident they believe you are to be queen, as such they think they can use you to force Avads hand."   
Erend sat back down next to Aloy, "Force him to do what?"  
"Surrender the throne" Avad said, "To save my queen."  Aloy regarded him,  _'to save my queen' - he did realise she wasn't his queen though, right?_    
"It's a diplomatic move on their part" Marad said, "with the populace struggling to rebuild from one war they wouldn't take kindly to a second.  If the invaders managed to take the throne without there being conflict, it may help the people warm to them."

Aloy supposed that made sense, kind of.  It was a twisted logic, but there was some logic to it none the less.   
"So what do we do?" Erend asked, "You make it sound as though if we go to war with them, we may cause the kingdom to rebel against us for it."  
Silence fell amongst them, Aloy and Erend looking between Avad and Marad, they looked shifty, like they had already thought of a plan but didn't want to say it for fear of the response they would get.  
"I, that is to say, we, think perhaps we should attempt to let them believe we are ignorant still of this cause.  Spread word that we don't believe Aloy was poisoned, that she just had heatstroke, have her keep up appearances at the palace, as though she had accepted the proposal.  Just enough that they feel comfortable enough to try their hand again."

"No.  Absolutely not, have you lost your damn mind?  Avad how can you possibly think this is a good idea!?  Putting Aloy at risk like that!"  Erend was on his feet again, his voice  raised, face red with anger, you could even see a vein popping in his temple he was so wound up.  If it was anyone else, Aloy might have been frightened of him.  She grabbed his hand, trying to get him to sit back down.   
"Erend, its OK, lets just talk about it..." She soothed.  But he jolted his hand from her grasp.  
"Aloy no! It is not OK! They just want us to stand by and let you be kidnapped!  Sun only knows what they'd do to you!" He was still angry, but deep in his eyes she could see they were laced with fear.  
"No, that's not what we are saying at all" Avad said, calmly, trying to diffuse the situation.   
"Oh really?" Erend wheeled on him.  
"Really.  We go about as normal, so we are ready and prepared for when they try and take her, that way we will be able to stop them.  We can defuse the situation and either cut them down, or send them back to the outlands." 

Aloy pondered, it didn't seem like a bad plan.  They would have the upperhand and the Dakasha wouldn't even know it.  With everyone on guard watching out for her too, it didn't seem like she'd really be in much danger.  
"I think its a good plan." She said, making Erend wheel around to face her instead, a look of horror on his face.  
"Aloy!"   
"I don't think I'll be in much danger Erend, not with everyone on standby watching for it to happen." She soothed him.  
"Excellent" Marad clapped his hands together, "Aloy we were thinking it may be better for you to stay at the palace, where we already have a high number of guards and then we can place more on top of that too."   
She nodded in agreement, "yes, I figured that would be the case." 

* * *

Erend listened to them planning it out, oh now she was going to live at the palace, playing Avads queen.  Only it wasn't playing was it?  Not for Avad, it was his wish made reality.  And how much of it would really be playing for Aloy too?  He stood by the fireplace gloomily,  _well.  At least I got that one night..._

"Only if Erend can come with me."  He looked up, hearing Aloy say his name, she was looking at him.    
"What?" He asked, Aloy rolled her eyes.  
"I was just saying, I'll go live at the palace, only if you can come too." She said.   Why would he come live there with them to watch her and Avad being the happy couple?  What torturous game was she playing?  _Come on, you know Aloy isn't one to play games._  
  
"Aloy, if I may, why should Erend come too?" Avad asked her.  Which just made Erend want to come to spite him.   
"Well. Your Queen is under threat.  I assumed you;d give me a personal guard.  And as queen, i'd expect that guard to be the best meridian has to offer in order to ensure my safety.  Therefore, I get Erend."  She placed a hand on her hip, jutting it out, giving Avad a look that said 'you wanna challenge me on this?'   
Avad relented, "Of course, you are correct.  You're both more than welcome."   
Aloy turned to him and grinned.  Erend was still confused though, he knew Aloy wasn't one for playing games, but there was a hint of mischief in her eyes as she looked at him that made him think that on this occasion she was playing some game.   He felt as though he might be able to handle the heartbreak her games might cause him if it meant she looked at him in that mischievous way again though. 

Marad now stood, moving out of the room, "Well, Avad, I believe we have some citizens to see, perhaps we should let Aloy and Erend pack up and meet us at the palace when they are ready?" He phrased it as a question, but it was more an order.  One which Avad obeyed, albeit with a hint of frustration.   
"Yes. I will see to it that your rooms are prepared."    
"Oh, we only need one."  Aloy responded, stunning Erend at her bluntness.  He saw the king reel at her words.  Closing his eyes for a second to regain composure.   
"Very well." He said, his lips pursed into a fine line, then he and Avad left swiftly.

Aloy turned to face him, grinning widely again.  Erend was stunned, he wasn't entirely sure what had just happened. "Aloy...what?...I don't...  _what?_ " he spluttered. She moved closer to him,   
"Erend, I was hardly going to go live with the King and pretend to have accepted his proposal without knowing I had you close by.  I trust you with my life more than Avad, or any of his guards.  I know you'll keep me safe.  Besides, I didn't really want to leave, it just seemed like the best solution to the current situation." 

Erends heard soared.  She didn't want to leave, she trusted him, so many things to be happy about.  "So you, wanted me to come because, you trust me as a guard?"   
Aloy rolled her eyes, tilting her head back and groaning, "Erend!" She chastised, "You really need to work on your self esteem.  No you great lumbering oaf.  I wanted you to come because I want  _you_ and playing happy families with Avad will be bad enough even with you to come back to."    
Erend flushed red.   So she had been playing a game, just, one that worked in his favour.   He grabbed her face, kissing her, then lifting her up by the waist, spinning her around as he laughed.  She yelped in surprise but then joined in his jubilence, laughing with him before he put her back down, pulling her in for another kiss.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised, in ch16 I kinda got Ersas story wrong, in that I said she went to Meridian to avenge her parents deaths and totally neglected to mention the part where she was captured by Jirun. But eh... same difference really :P


	19. Chapter 19

There wasn't much to pack for taking to the palace.  Aloy didn't really have many clothes, just armour and the clothes of Ersas Erend had lent her, but they didn't fit particularly well.  She decided instead to only pack the two outfits currently borrowed.  Erend looked over at her bag, "Don't you think you might need more clothes than that?" He asked, one eyebrow raised.  
"Yes, of course.  But, Ersas clothing does't fit me very well, and I don't particularly want to keep borrowing her clothes."   
Erend grunted, "She's not using 'em."   
Aloy looked over at him sharply, "No.  But they're  _hers._ I thought Avad might have some clothes I could wear, or that he  _wants_ me to wear, if I am to play the part of acting Queen."   
Erend stopped packing, she could tell her last words to him had caused him to consider something, he looked over at her, his face betraying a slight look of disgust at the thought of Avad dressing her up, "I'm sure Avad would much rather you didn't wear clothes at all." He said sulking a little, causing Aloy to roll her eyes at him.   
"Yeah, like that isn't true for you too." She pointed out, which thankfully caused him to realise his double standard, and blush.  

Aloy stood for a moment, considering whether she should take her ancient armour, it was still in need of a wash from their war with the eclipse, although she imagined she could do that at the palace.  She gathered it up, deciding it would be best to have it, along with her weapons, just incase something happened.  This again, caused Erend to raise his eyebrows at her.  
"What? Someone tried to kill me Erend! I might need to defend myself!"  
"Isn't that what  _I'm_ gonna be there for?" He asked, puzzled.   
"No.  That's what Avad  _thinks_ you're there for" she winked at him, placing her dirty armour into a separate compartment of the bag so it wouldn't sully her other clothing, then grabbing her weapons sash and belt. 

"Well.  I'm ready to leave." She said, leaning on the drawers she had put the bag on top of whilst she packed.  She could see Erend was pretty much done too but was clearly stalling the process.  "Erend we might as well just go and get it over with.  Sitting here worrying about how this is all gonna play out won't help anything."  Aloy hated procrastination, when she had been on her journey to find her mother, and then later, to discover more about Zero Dawn, she had not wasted anytime before moving onto the next destination.  No matter how concerning and anxious she felt about the new destination she was being led to, she persevered swiftly, allowing herself little time to sit and dwell on the matter.  What use what that?  She'd have to go sooner or later, later only meant she had longer to feel worse about the journey and less confident, which only meant she was more likely to fail.   
She felt as though Erend was the opposite though.  Especially when it came to certain things, he seemed to like to take things slowly, draw them out.  She was starting to get used to having to light fires under his ass to motivate him. 

"I know I know.  I just don't really like this plan.  Seems to play right into Avads dreams!  I'd also feel better if I could scout out the Dakasha for myself, see for myself where they are based, how many there are.   I don't like not knowing what I am dealing with, it makes me nervous."  He looked at her, she felt sorry for him, realising for the first time how he must have felt waiting on the spire for the eclipse to attack.  That was fighting the unknown, Aloy hadn't had the luxury of time to be able to give them a real sense of what exactly they were fighting against.  He must have been beside himself.   
"It makes me even more nervous that they are probably targeting you.  I feel like I need to be out there,  _doing_ something to protect you, not... swanning off to the palace."   
"But you  _are_ doing something to protect me!" Aloy said astounded, I mean, yes she had mostly asked for Erend to come because she wanted him around and had just been able to fob it off as wanting his protection, but, he really would also be protecting her.  If anything did happen, that the palace guards failed to stop, he served as a last barrier of defence for her, and that thought calmed her.   
"I know that too! It just doesn't feel like it.  I suppose I'm just used to being more, in the action from the get go, rather than just waiting for it." He admitted.    
Aloy grabbed his hand, "C'mon, lets just get going.  I'm feeling a little tired anyway." She admitted, although the tiredness took her by surprise, it was barely even lunch yet, and she had slept perfectly fine.  Having said that, she had only just woken from her poisoning ordeal the day before, she supposed it would still take time to feel completely herself again. 

Erend pulled her closer, placing a hand to her face, eyes searching hers, "Are you OK?" He asked, suddenly seeming very worried.  
"I'm fine! I guess I'm just still a little sick is all.  I only woke up yesterday" she reminded him, so much had happened in such a short space of time she wouldn't blame him if he had forgotten that.   
"Of course" he said, Aloy smiled, so he had forgotten it had only been a day.   He kissed her forehead, "Alright. Lets get this over with."  He picked up his bag and strode out the room. 

* * *

Avad and Marad  made their way back to the Palace from Erends in silence.  This pleased the king greatly as he knew Marad was less than impressed about what had occurred at the captains home that morning, but Avad was in no mood for a telling off.  He seemed to be getting enough of those from Erend himself currently, which confused him slightly, he wasn't sure what his captains anger was towards him.   Was it just because he had feelings for Aloy? If so, he felt it didn't make sense because Aloy had picked Erend after all, so what was there to be angry about?  He sighed, figuring he would have to have a word with him later about his attitude. 

Once they reached the palace Avad went to find his maids, finding them sitting outside enjoying the sun and a cup of coffee.    
"Ladies..." he greeted them warmly.  Avad did not care much for having 'servants'.  Despite knowing they were happy with their arrangement, he never could shake the feel that he was exploiting them somehow, he supposed it was because he knew his father  _had_ exploited the people who worked for him.  They had basically ended up as slaves, and his father had chastised him greatly anytime he had noticed Avad showing even the slightest bit of kindness towards them.  Now however, the workers at the palace were paid rather handsomely, had exquisite accommodation, and were free to almost do as they pleased.  So long as their duties were being completed, Avad cared little for how they chose to spend their time.  

Ineva and Cynes greeted him.   
"Your radiance!" Cynes jumped up, almost spilling her coffee, she curtseyed her cheeks growing red.  "We were just having a short break! So sorry..." She blustered, fumbling for words.  Ineva chuckled, Avad held his hand up to silence the girl, amusement on his face.  
"Cynes, it is fine.  I don't begrudge my staff a morning coffee!  Now, if it was afternoon..." He winked at Ineva, who laughed, Cynes giggled nervously but clearly didn't get the joke. "How long have you been working here?" Avad asked her.  
"About a month Sir" the young girl stammered.   
"Ah.  Then there is still much to learn!  Especially about my policies on workers and breaks!" He placed an arm around her shoulder, "I'll let you in on a secret Cynes.  You can take... as many breaks as you want!" He put on a face of mock surprise, whilst Cynes looked genuinely surprised and confused.  Ineva decided to enter the conversation at this point and explain what the king was failing to do so in jest.   
"Sun-King Avad says we may take as many breaks as we like, so long as the work required of us is done when it needs to be, he is not concerned."   
"Oh.  I, I guess I thought the palace would be  _really strict._ " 

Avad waved his hand, "Life's too short for that nonsense.  If the job is done, and done properly, why should I concern myself with it? There is much more pressing matters to be worrying about than how clean the floor looks."   
"That's a very refreshing attitude from someone of your stature your radiance." Cynes said, curtseying again.   
"Avad."   
"Sorry?"  
"Just call me Avad, and stop this curtseying! We shall be seeing each other far too often to have time for all these formalities! Anyway.  To the matter at hand." He turned now to face Ineva.  "Aloy and Erend, Captain of the Vanguard, will be coming to stay here at the palace for a while.  I need a room made up for them, specifically the Queens suite."    
Ineva nodded, "And for Erend?" she inquired.  Avad took a deep breath.   
"They only require one room."  He advised her, ignoring her raised eyebrow.   
"Why are they coming to stay?" Cynes asked.   
Avad glanced at her, whilst he was fair and kind to his staff, he did need them to respect his authority and not ask questions they weren't required to know the answer too.  Hopefully Ineva would explain that her question was improper. 

 He turned back to Ineva, "Make sure the bed is made and the room is tidy.  I don't expect them to be arriving too late so perhaps set out some food for them.  I think Aloy may need some clothes too... Hmmm, maybe you should wait until she arrives to find some though.  I don't wish to intrude on your coffee break, but I do need this done as a matter of urgency as I'm not entirely sure when they will arrive.  My apologies."  
"That's quite alright Avad.  We will get right to it." Ineva said.  Avad bowed slightly, then left them heading towards the throne room where he knew Marad was waiting for him so he could meet with some dignitaries.  

As he walked he considered how awkward the following days would be, the three of them sharing the palace.  He would need to keep Aloy close by for the most part if they were going to convince people they were having a relationship, and this thought pleased him, as having her around always served to cheer him up, he couldn't help but worry about how they would convince people if she was retiring to a bedroom with another man each night.  He sighed, furrowing his brow and rubbing it with his hand, he would have to think about this later, for now, he had a very boring meeting to attend.

* * *

Aloy and Erend arrived at the palace around lunchtime, immediately making their way towards the throne room, however they were accosted by Marad who informed them that the king was in a meeting, but would very much like to eat lunch with them if they arrived in time.   
"Let me show you to the suite the king has had prepared for you both." Marad said, smiling at them and holding out an arm, inviting them to walk down the corridor. 

Erend had been inside the palace many a time before as captain of the vanguard, as such he was no longer awestruck by its size, or affluent decor.  Aloy was, and he settled to watching her reactions to their surroundings, grinning at the shock and awe on her face.  Marad too had noticed the Nora's reaction, "Yes its rather grand isn't it?  Jiran is responsible for most of this decadence." He explained.  
"Your room is just down here."  He said turning down a smaller corridor, where they were met by two palace guards.  "Ah! Excellent, I hoped you would be here." Marad said to guards, "Aloy, Erend, I'd like you to meet Folrig and Tajina.  They will largely be responsible for guarding your room, along with the other palace guards of course, but either Folrig or Tajina will be stationed outside your door at all times."  The two guards smiled at them, holding their hands out to greet them.

Erend felt awkward meeting the guards.  Embarrassed that as captain of the vanguard, he was now getting guards to guard him.  The whole thing seemed absurd! "Nice to meet you" he mumbled as he shook their hands.  Aloy greeted them much more openly, "Hi, thank you so much! What a boring assignment this must be" she told them, pulling a face.   
Tajina laughed, "Yeah not the most exciting job in the world.  But then, guarding the palace never really is eh?" She nudged her partner, who remained stoic.   
"It is an honour to guard the Sun King, and so it is an honour to guard his Queen." He said sternly, before saluting at Aloy, causing her to grimace slightly.   
"Oh really, there's no need for such formalities..." She began, but Marad cut in, "Let us see your room shall we?" He said hastily, ushering them into the room. 

"Do excuse the interjection Aloy, but Folrig is a very... proud man.  He takes his duties very seriously.  I lose count of the amount of times Avad has requested that he be less formal in his approach, but it always falls on deaf ears."   
Aloy nodded, but looked a little sad, Erend knew she didn't like people worshipping her, it made him understand more why she had wanted him to be at the palace with her.  Being Queen didn't really suit her, this wasn't going to be an easy task for her.    
"Ah, more people for you to meet!" Marad said happily, drawing their attention to two women standing in the room, opposite side of the bed to where they stood.  Marad made his way around to them, "This is Cynes and Ineva.  Maids here at the palace." The two girls gave a small bow.   
"If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask."  Said Ineva. 

Erend knew Ineva, she was a nice lady who had worked as a maid for Jiran too, although in those days she had been more akin to his slave.  She held a strong liking to Avad, having known him since he was a child.  Erend knew she loved her job working for Avad and relished her opportunity to help the Sun-King who treated her better than she ever could have hoped, given how badly his father had treated her.  Cynes though, seemed new.  He'd seen her around a couple of times recently, but things had been so busy lately with one thing and another he'd never really stopped to talk to her or even say hello.   Once again Aloy beat him to the greetings, walking around to them herself and shaking their hands.  
"I'm Aloy." She informed them, "Avad has asked me to stay in the palace as his Queen."  The words caused Erend to wince slightly.  "Erend here is my personal guard."    
"Yes, I know Erend" Ineva said smiling over at him, Erend gave a small wave back, "Have you met Cynes, Erend?" She asked.  
"No, I've seen you around... but, I guess I've been rude.  Not said got around to saying hello... been a busy..." He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck, "New to the palace?" He asked the younger girl.  
"Yes, only been here a month..." she said quietly.  Clearly unsure how to talk to people here.   
"Ah, you'll like it here, Avad is nice to work for."  Erend told her, but his eyes moved over to Aloy, who had taken to walking around the room, marvelling at the lavish furnishings.  Her hands trailing over the carved wooden headboard, running over the tops of the bedside tables and dressers.  She lifted the lids of decorative pots, clearly confused as to their purpose.  He smiled fondly. 

"Well.  I'll let you settle in.  Avad shouldn't be much longer." Marad said, nodding to them, before leaving the room.    
"Can I get you anything in the meantime?" Ineva asked them, also looking over at Aloy who was now inspecting the array of perfumes and potions laid out on a table next to a door Erend suspected led to a bathroom.   
"Hmm?" Came her response, clearly she'd been too engrossed in her exploration of the room to have heard Ineva properly.  Erend chuckled, eyes scanning the room he saw there was some water and fruit, if they were to eat with the King, there wouldn't be much need for anything else.  
"I think we will be OK for now thanks, Ineva." He said, and the girls bowed a little again, before they too departed. 

He walked over to Aloy "What has you so fascinated?" He asked softly as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, he felt her lean back into him.    
"There's just so much  _stuff_ " She said, he laughed at her.  
"Nora Savage." He murmured into her ear, recalling the joke from the first time she stayed at his house.  "Are you still tired?" He asked her.  
"Yeah, a little." She said, and so he started to pull her towards the bed, "But aren't we meant to be eating with Avad soon?" She asked.  
"We can wake you when that happens.  At least have a little lie down."  He sat on the bed, Aloy standing between his legs, holding his hands.  She bent to take off her boots, he followed suit, kicking off his own heavy boots and swinging his legs up so he lay on the furs.  Beside the bed, Aloy stood up and he reached out, pulling her down, she landed on top of him laughing, but she didn't move, instead she just lay there, her head on his chest, legs intertwined with his own.   He kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair, he found the act of it so calming.   They lay together, waiting for Avad. 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

"Sire, Aloy and Erend arrived a short while ago."  Marad entered the throne room, the dignitaries Avad had been speaking with for most of the morning having finally left.  The meeting had taken far longer than Avad had planned, and he was now running late for his time with the citizens that afternoon.   However his mood lightened upon hearing Aloy had arrived.  
"Ah excellent, are they in the suite I had prepared?" He asked, pointing down the corridor, but also not waiting for the response and beginning to walk in that direction.   
"Yes, should I have food brought to the room?"   
"Yes thank you Marad!" He called still walking away. 

Reaching the room, Folrig stood to attention, saluting wordlessly, causing Avad to sigh but he did not waste time chastising the guard.  He was a relatively new recruit, and in that time they had already had many a conversation about how Avad did not deem it necessary to be given such formal greetings constantly when simply walking around his own home, but Folrig continued anyway, and Avad was beginning to realise that he was just going to have to accept it.    
He knocked on the door.

"Come in." He heard the captain call.  He opened the door, starting a little at the site before him of Erend lying on the bed with Aloy slumped on top of him.  Sadness faded quickly to concern,  
"Is she OK?" He asked, moving quickly over to them.   
"Yeah, just tired" Erend replied then looked down at Aloy, ruffling her hair gently and stroking her face, "Hey sleepyhead, kings here!" He told her, eliciting a small groan to show she was awake, Erend moved, from under her, carefully manoeuvring Aloy so she slumped back down on the bed sighing.    
Avad frowned.  Why was she so tired at this hour?  "I'm going to get the healer to assess her anyway." He poked his head out the door, "Folrig, could you go and get the palace healer please?"   
"Of course your luminescence" the guard said, saluting before marching off.   Behind him Avad could hear Erend telling Aloy how she'd got the king all worried and he was getting a healer in a joking chastising voice.  He turned to see he had gotten her sat up, more awake, but bleary eyed.

"I'm fine Avad.  I did only wake up from my poisoning yesterday you know." She told him, which was true, it felt like longer but it had only been one day.   
"All the more reason for you to see the healer" Avad responded.  Aloy sighed a little, but Erend agreed with him at least.  "I hope you like your room." Avad told them.  
"Its very lovely" Aloy said, "There's a lot of stuff though.  What are all the little pots for?" She asked.    
"What do you mean? They are simply decoration."  Avad half informed, half asked.  Looking at Erend quizzically, who grinned at him.  
"Oh don't mind the Nora Savage!" He said, elbowing Aloy gently.

Avad frowned a little _why was he calling Aloy a savage? That wasn't a nice term to use..._ he felt offended for her, but saw her smiling sleepily and realised he was clearly out of the loop of this joke between the pair.   _They have their own inside jokes already!?_  
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, opening it he found the healer.  
"Ah excellent.  Aloy is awfully tired for the middle of the day, perhaps you could check her over?" He enquired.  
"Of course sire." The healer entered the room.

Erend got up off the bed allowing the healer access to Aloy, he stood by the king now.    
"Erend, I was going to do this after lunch, but maybe we could do it now whilst the healer tends to Aloy.  I wondered if I could have a word?"  Avad asked him.  
"Sure." Erend said simply, and they made their way out of the room walking back up towards the throne room.

"Something bothering you, Avad?" Erend asked.   
_Well, might as well just get straight to the point_ Avad thought, "Yes.  You are." Avad said, turning to look at Erend, who had stopped, shocked at his curt response.   
"I'm sorry?" He said, as though he wondered if he had misheard.  
"You've been acting strangely these last few days.  Arguing with me, generally being rather... disrespectful." Avad looked at Erend intently, "I was just wondering, why? Have I upset you Erend?"   
He stopped, waiting for the captains response, watching as Erend rubbed a hand over his face and sighed heavily.  
"Should've seen this coming, I have been acting terribly.  I apologise" Erend said.   
"It isn't so much an apology I seek Erend, although it is welcome.  I do wish to know the reason behind this sudden change in attitude though.  Perhaps it is something we can work on to make you feel better if something is upsetting you?" Avad probed, eager to get an answer.   
"No, I don't think so.  I'm just, being silly."  Erend spoke brokenly, as though he was trying to find the words, unsure how to answer the question, "It's Aloy."

Avads head snapped to him, concern mounting once again, "What about Aloy? Is everything OK?"   
"Oh, yes, everything is... amazing.  I'm just, not sure..." He trailed off, then finally added, "Why me?"   
Avad frowned, _Why me?  That's what people say when things go wrong, not when things are good.  Wait, he means why did she pick him?  That would make more sense._  
Erend continued, "I don't really have much to offer at the best of times, and then I went and hurt her bad.  I mean, I'm so honoured to have this chance, but I don't feel I deserve it." He admitted.  
His confession surprised Avad, he knew Erend had had many a tryst in the past, despite his lack of self-confidence in himself and his capabilities, the Oseram had always flirted confidently.  Avad had never known him to be bothered by feelings of doubt concerning romantic relationships.  He sat back in his throne, considering his words.

"Erend.  Surely it matters not whether you believe you deserve this chance?  Aloy has given it to you regardless.  She has made her choice, and appears quite content with it.  This surprises me though, you have never struck me as one to be so concerned about these things with women before."   
"Because I haven't been.  Its just different with Aloy, it was from the start." He admitted looking up at the king, who prompted him to explain further with his eyes. "We'd not been at Mothers Heart long when I met her.  Your emissary had been trying to read your letter of apology when the Nora got all riled up, throwing fruit at him, so I took to the stage myself, tried to calm them, which I did.  Then I moved to jump down from the stage, leave the emissary to read the letter, and I saw her, talking to Olin." He stopped, once again seeming to be looking for the words to adequately express his emotions, "I dunno how to describe it, she... took my breath away.  When you go to see the Nora, you don't expect to see someone there like Aloy." He looked over at the king, appearing to want to confirm that the king agreed with this, Avad nodded and motioned for Erend to continue.

"I lingered behind Olin as they spoke, he was acting weird with her, evasive.  He sped off quickly, at the time I just assumed it was cos he fancied her too.  I took my chance after he left, went to chat with her" he caught Avads eye, Avad raised an eyebrow at him,  _Erend? Chat? With a girl?  Suuuuuure_ "OK OK.  Flirt" Erend held up his hands, laughing a little, Avad joined in the laughter.   
"It was like looking at the sun" Erend spoke wistfully now, "And you know what? Flirting with the sun is quite difficult! I stuttered and stumbled and was a right idiot.  Something about  _her_ Avad, just makes me not that confident flirty Oseram I am with other women.  But its good because, she is better than that."  He looked over at Avad, who sat there in deep thought.  

 _So these were Erends initial thoughts on Aloy?  Love at first sight!_ He thought back to the first time he'd met Aloy, he too had found her attractive, intriguing, he'd already heard stories about her, some from Erend himself, but his mind was elsewhere, so too his heart.  He had not been as infatuated with Aloy from the start as Erend had been.  A realisation occurred to him, as he thought of Erends story of meeting Aloy, he found himself drawing similarities to his own thoughts on Ersa when they first met, how impressed he had been at her tenacity and strength, how that had led to her permeating his thoughts often in the days following their meeting making him await correspondence with her with gleeful anticipation.   
He knew he didn't feel for Aloy as strongly as he had felt for Ersa,  he cared for her deeply, enough for him to admit that he loved her, but it wasn't the same exuberant rush of emotions and excitement and chemistry he'd felt for Ersa,  _but for Erend it was._  

"Erend, I had no idea you felt so strongly for her.  If I'd ever had any suspicion of this, I never would have pursued her." Avad gave Erend a serious look.  "And despite my feelings, I am happy for you both.  But I can't pretend it doesn't hurt a little, as I am sure you are aware.  I think now though, after hearing this from you, that she did make the right choice.  Not to say I felt beforehand she made the wrong choice, there is no right or wrong choice here!  What I mean is, you love her more."  He ended quite simply.  It felt harsh to say aloud, but it was true.  Avad doubted he would ever love like that again.  "I wouldn't ever dream of trying to take her from you and I wouldn't try to.  That isn't my plan here Erend, what we have orchestrated here is purely to keep her safe, I am under no delusions that in the process she will suddenly realise she wants to be my queen and leave you!  So I hope you can put your mind at ease, I also hope you can realise that you are perfectly worthy of her affections."  Avad smiled warmly at his captain.  "I trust that this has adequately cleared the air between us my friend?"   
"Of course" Erend nodded.  
"Then let us return, see how Aloy is." Avad got up from his throne, walking back towards Aloys room, Erend following. 

* * *

Erend felt better following his chat with Avad, he now didn't feel the need to worry himself too much with the current plan for Aloy to be acting as his Queen.  He trusted Avads word that he had no intention to try and steal Aloy away, and he trusted Aloy when she said she had chosen him and had no interest in being Queen.   Now the only thing left to work on was himself and his own feelings of inadequacy, which given time he felt would surely drive her away as she grew tired of his need for comfort and reassurance. 

It would be difficult, she was so damn amazing.  She had saved the whole freaking world! Could tame machines, seemed to understand some of the complexities surrounding the Old Ones and their technology.  She was a fearsome huntress, silent and deadly, she could cut a man down before he even knew she was there.  Outcast from birth, but determined to win a place in the tribe she had not only done that, but become their saviour, their 'Anointed one'.  All this by the age of 19.    
So what had  _he_ done, he had almost a decade on her age, and what did he have to show for it? He was captain of the vanguard, a position he only held because his sister had died, not because he truly deserved it.  How could he  _not_ feel inadequate! 

_But Aloy doesn't think of it like that, so you need to stop thinking of it like that too._

He sighed, that was easier said that done.  When they arrived back at the room, Aloy was sitting up, looking perkier than when they had left.    
"She is fine" the healer told them.   
"Told you." Aloy said.   
"I expect her to feel tired easily for a few days. Remember, she may have been asleep for a while from the poison, but it wasn't  _restful_.  Her body was working hard to overcome the toxins.  Now that has been done, her body is tired from this, needs time to recuperate."   
"Thank you.  For all your help in this matter." Avad said, cupping one of the healers hands in his own as Erend went over to Aloy. 

The healer left, and the three of them were alone.  Aloy broke the silence, gesturing to the table in the room which was now adorned with food.   
"The maids brought it in while you were gone."   
"Ah excellent!" Exclaimed Avad, "I am starving.  It's been a long morning."  
"Technically, I believe it is afternoon now." Erend teased, as they made their way to sit down.  Avad laughed, this was good, the tension between them really had eased since their chat, and it was nice to be able to joke and have fun with the king again.    
It seemed all three of them were quite hungry, and for some time they ate in companionable silence.  Avad was first to break this silence this time, "Aloy, I had been thinking about having you with me this afternoon when I speak with some citizens, but given your need for rest, perhaps it is better if you stay here with Erend.  You can always join me tomorrow."    
Aloy looked as though she was about to argue, but Avad interjected once more, "Besides, I spoke to Ineva about taking you to find some clothing. I thought you might need some, can't have you just wondering around in armour!" 

Erend turned to her, "You do need clothes, since you didn't want to use too much of Ersas."   
"Brilliant, well you can do that today then."   
There was a few seconds pause before Aloy spoke, "Oh, have you finished timetabling my life now?"   
Avad laughed, "Of course, you don't  _have_ to do any of this if you don't want to Aloy.  It just seemed logical that you would.  You could also check out the bathing room" He pointed towards the door in their room that didn't lead out into the corridor.   
Aloy looked, then looked back at Avad, "You mean the bathroom? I am acquainted with those you know."   
"Just go see for yourself, I think you will be pleasantly surprised." Avad smiled a wryly. 

As silence fell once more, Erend decided to take this opportunity to speak with Avad about an idea he had.  
"I was wondering.  Perhaps we should send a small scouting party to gather some more information on the Dakasha.  Check out their base, see if they can find out if they are falling for our ploy."   
"Interesting.  It may well be worth it.  Why, are you sick of the palace already?" Avad joked, then added, "Or just Aloy?" Causing Aloy to gasp and punch him lightly. "Aloy! Don't assault the King!" Avad said in mock audacity.  Erend laughed, "No no.  Although I'd usually go, I was thinking this time of just sending two or three of the more trusted vanguard members."   
Avad nodded thoughtfully.  "Yes. I agree.  It should help us cover more angles.  Good thinking Erend."  Avad stood up, "Well. I best get to my duties, I am already running rather late.  I trust you shall join us all for dinner tonight?"   
"Of course" Aloy and Erend both said, nodding.   
"I look forward to it" and with that the sun king left. 

* * *

Aloy turned to Erend, "So who are you thinking of sending?" She asked, although she thought she could probably guess two of them, it was only if he was sending a third that she then became unsure who that would be.   
"Aneta and Kiln." He responded, confirming Aloys thoughts, "But Marad said they were quite a large tribe, so I think it may be wise to send three.  I think I will send Lomaz with them."   
"Yes, need to send enough that they can defend themselves if caught out, but not too many to try and avoid that happening." Aloy said, it was a tricky balance.   
"I'll pop down to the barracks or into the city and find them whilst you are off clothes hunting with Ineva." He told her.  Aloy scrunched up her face, the thought of wandering through the palace finding clothes was not in the least appealing to her. 

Erend sympathised, "Well. You know I'd be happy if you didn't have clothes" He winked at her.  She blushed and gave him a playful slap.   
"I don't think I can go to dinner with Avad with no clothes though Erend" she scorned playfully.   
Erend laughed, shrugging, "Again, I don't think he'd mind either."  He jumped up moving quickly away from Aloy as she lunged for him, causing Aloy to lose balance in her chair and fall out.  Aloy stifled her laughter as she heard Erend stop laughing and become concerned, "Shit, Aloy you OK?" She lay on the floor hearing his footsteps approach, then just as he got near, she reached out and tugged at his ankle, pulling him to the floor too.  He landed partially on top of her, which hurt a little, but she was too busy laughing to care, his angry mumblings just pushing her to laugh even harder as he nursed his dented ego.  Her sides ached from laughing, she couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much, but if she could, she was certain Erend had probably been involved.

As she began to regain composure, she heard a faint knock at the door, "Come in" she called, before realising that both her and Erend were still sat on the floor, one of the chairs overturned near by.  The two maids she had met earlier came in, stopping as they took in the scene.   
"Err. Long story..." Aloy said, getting up, brushing herself down and picking up the chair.  "Hey, Ineva, Avad said I should ask you about finding some clothes?" She said, quickly changing the subject.  
"Oh yes! The palace has many! What do you require?" The maid asked, looking excited.   
"Oh, errr, just... clothes?" Aloy shrugged, "maybe something for dinner tonight?" she wasn't very good at this dressing up stuff.  Behind her Erend sniggered, she glared at him, causing him to pipe up that he was off to find Aneta, Kiln and Lomaz and send them off scouting.  He quickly left, telling Aloy he would meet her in this room later. 

Cynes began clearing away the dishes from lunch, whilst Ineva began chatting animatedly to Aloy about clothing and fashion, which Aloy pretended to be enthusiastic about, but found her mind wandering during the conversation.  After what felt like an eon Ineva suggested they go actually look at some of the clothes and see if any were the right fit, at this point, despite her earlier annoyance at trying on clothes all afternoon, Aloy was almost filled with joy at the prospect of at least having something to do, other than listen to the maid talking.   
They left, walking down the corridor out into the palace foyer, Ineva still chattering about fashion as they went. 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Despite being confident that the vanguard were probably still busy tending to people from their established base in the city centre, Erend decided to go and check the barracks beneath the palace first just in case.  No point walking to the centre just to come all the way back.  But as he thought, the barracks were mostly empty save for a few sleeping guards.  
He set off to the centre walking with a slight spring in his step.  He felt happier than he had done in months, possibly ever.  He'd always been quite a happy person, self-esteem not with standing, but his budding relationship with Aloy was propelling him to new and dizzying heights of elation. 

"Someones happy."  Erend turned to the familiar voice.   
"Hi Jacinta" He said awkwardly, his good mood diminishing somewhat being replaced with anxiety for what the barmaid might want.  "How are you?" He asked, tentatively.   
She shrugged, "not as good as you it seems."  She said with a half smile.   
Erend winced a little at her words.  "I'm sorry." He said again.   
"Oh, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.  I'm fine, really."  She said placing a hand on his arm.  "Where you going to? I was just taking some supplies to the centre."   
"Actually that's where I was headed."   
"Really? Maybe we could walk together then?" She smiled up at him hopefully.    
 _Well I can hardly say no can I, we'll be walking the same roads regardless!_  
Erend smiled back, "Sure.  Can I help you carry anything?" He said, instinctively reaching for some of the bags she carried.  
"Oh thanks.  It was more than I thought there'd be actually, so good job I bumped into you!" She laughed.

They walked in silence for a few steps, Erend unsure what to say to her.   _What do you say to the girl whose heart you just broke? Especially when your mind can't stop thinking about the one you broke it for!_ He pondered as they walked.    
"How is Aloy doing?  People have been asking about her in the centre." Jacinta said.  Erend had suspected as much, everyone who knew Aloy, and even those who didn't knew she loved to help.  
"Good.  Still tired a lot, but the healers say that's fine, she just needs rest."   
"That's good.  Do you have any leads on who poisoned her?"   
"Yeah, kind of.  Its complicated... That's why I'm headed to the centre now.  Need to see if we can spare some guards to investigate further."  He explained.   Jacinta shot him a quizzical look, but he didn't say anything more, there wasn't much more to be said.   
"How many guards will you need to take?"   
"I was thinking three.  I need them to go on a scouting mission and I need there to be enough that if anything happened they wouldn't be overwhelmed. And I need to send a higher ranking officer too, since I won't be going myself."  He ran a hand through his hair.  Jacinta looked at him, surprised.   
"Your not going? I thought you'd be first in line to try and find out who did this to her." Her voice betrayed the sadness and envy she felt.   
"I want to be, but she wants me to stay with her at the palace."  Erend kicked himself once he'd said it.  Jacinta really didn't need to know all this...   
"She's at the palace?" Jacinta looked thoroughly confused.   
"Yeah... it's complicated..."   
"Sounds like your life is pretty complicated at the moment!" Jacinta laughed, nudging him in the ribs.  Erend laughed too at the truth of it, in a matter of a few days his life had gotten substantially more complicated. 

They walked in silence for a little, Erend feeling more comfortable since their joking.   "So, how come Aloy wants you to stay with her?" He heard Jacinta ask.   
 _OK, not so comfortable anymore.  Why was she asking that? Surely she realised she probably wasn't going to like the answer...  
_ Erend sighed deeply,  _well, I guess its better she hears it from me before she hears it as gossip._ He thought, "Well, the thing is..." He scratched the back of his neck, "Aloy and I..."   
Jacinta blushed, he noticed her eyes blink back hurt, "Oh! I see, well... Congratulations..." the pain in her voice was apparent, Erend felt awful for her.   
"Thanks..."   
Uncomfortable silence fell between them for the remainder of their journey, thankfully they weren't far from the centre.  As they reached the centre Erend stopped, realising that if word got out from Jacinta that he and Aloy were a couple now, it would ruin their plans to have people think she was with Avad.   
"Listen, Jacinta... About what I told you, with me and Aloy," he faced her, trying to put aside his emotions and deal with this as Captain of the Vanguard and not as Erend, "It would be better if you didn't tell anyone about that.  As I said, she's staying at the palace right now, with Avad... It's complicated for many reasons.  But its important that no one knows about us, so please, don't say anything?"   
Jacinta looked confused possibly somewhat, angry, but she nodded, "Of course Erend.  For you, anything."  She smiled at him, and walked away. 

Erend watched her leave, breathing a sigh of relief.   _That was close, almost blew the whole plan.  Idiot._ His mental bashing was interrupted by Kiln.   
"Well well well.  Look who finally decided to show up and help" the younger man smirked, speaking quite loudly alerting the rest of the vanguard and citizens to his presence.   
Erend rolled his eyes, "Yeah well, someone had to come make sure you hadn't caused another disaster to break out!" He said, marching towards the tent.   
"I'll have you know I have everything brilliantly under control." Said Kiln, looking rather pleased with himself.  Behind him, a table bearing a heavy load of supplies, groaned and collapsed sending fruit rolling everywhere and water sloshing to the ground seeping onto bedrolls and soaking citizens who sat nearby.   Bending down, Erend picked up an apple that had rolled towards him, dusting it off he took a bite from the fruit, "Oh yeah.  Reeeal organised."  He said sarcastically as Aneta roared with laughter and Kiln turned an impressive shade of red. 

Erend helped them clear up the mess, gathering the food that had rolled away and moving bedrolls and bandages out of the water, he found some pegs and hung them to dry in the sun from the tent awnings.  The majority of the pile was left on the broken table, there hadn't been anywhere else for it to go before the table had broken, that fact hadn't changed just because of the structural failings of the table.  Once, relatively, cleared up Erend turned to Kiln, "Right.  I actually came here because I need to speak with you, Aneta and Lomaz about something."  He said, voice serious so Kiln knew he wasn't messing around anymore.    
Kiln nodded, "We have a tent away from the rest, for if we need to discuss things privately."   
Aneta was nearby, and had overheard them, coming to stand with the two men when she heard her name being mentioned.  Erend looked around for Lomaz, finding him lying in a corner, a cloth over his face to keep out the sun.  Walking over Erend kicked him, "OI.  DO I PAY YOU TO SLEEP!?" He roared, making everyone in the vicinity jump, none more so than Lomaz, who jumped out of his skin, panic flashing across his face as he scrambled to his feet, "Erend! I mean, Captain! Hello! Yes! I mean, no, no you don't captain, sir!" He saluted.    
Erend chuckled, Lomaz was one of the youngest men in his vanguard, it made him an easy target.  But the boy could hold his own, if he couldn't he wouldn't be in the guard at all.  He had been picked out due to his smaller stature and ease with which he could stealth around, almost rivalling Aloy.    
"At ease Lomaz.  I'm only messing.  C'mon, I have a job for you."

The three of them followed Kiln towards the private tent, although when they arrived Kiln waited, allowing Erend to go in first.  Thankfully the tent was empty, they all filed in.   
"So, as you all know, about two days ago, Aloy was poisoned as she left the city.  This was done in a sneaky underhanded way, with a supposed merchant alchemist offering to mix her a healing potion. We now know this of course, wasn't a healing potion, but poison.  We believe that the intent wasn't to kill her, but render her incapacitated so they could take her and hold her to ransom."  He paused, letting the information sink in.   
"Why! Who would do that?" Aneta gasped.  
"That's what we aren't sure of.  The who part, not the why.  We believe the reason why is... Aloy has been asked by Avad to be his Queen."  Again he paused to allow time for them to digest the information.  This time it was Kiln who spoke up, patting a hand onto Erends shoulder.  
"Hard luck boss."   
"Shut up Kiln.  Aloy rejected this proposal **_however_**   we think that whoever planned this doesn't know she rejected him.  They think that Aloy is set to marry Avad, and thus they wish to use her as leverage against him."  They all seemed shocked at this information, but not wishing to answer questions about why Aloy rejected Avad Erend continued on, "Blameless Marad did some digging, and has found that there is a new tribe from the west in the area known as the Dakasha.  We believe they may be behind this plan and seeking to attempt to take Meridian whilst we are weakened.  In an attempt to try and flush out any tribal members within the city Aloy has gone to stay at the palace with Avad in order to keep up the pretence that they are seeking to be married.  Our hope is that they will make another attempt to take her, but obviously we will be there to stop them."    
"Is that our job then? The one you have for us?" Kiln interrupted.  
"No.  By we I meant myself and the palace guards.  I have a different job for you three.  I think it is best we scout out these Dakasha, try and see where their base camp is, see what we can hear about them from the surrounding areas, or eavesdropping on them ourselves.  I can't go, I need to stay at the palace with Aloy in case anything happens.   But I believe I can trust this mission to you three."   
"Yes sir!" Lomaz said, whilst Aneta and Kiln simply nodded in agreement with the captain.   
"When do we leave?" Aneta asked.  
"As soon as possible.  I'd like to say now, but I understand if it isn't until tomorrow morning."   
"Tomorrow is more feasible, we will need to gather supplies and plan a journey.  Is Marad free? It may be wise for us to converse with him before we leave" Aneta said, already planning.  This was why Erend had wanted her on the team.  Aneta was the brains, Kiln was the muscle, Lomaz was the sneaky one.  Perfect scouting team.   
"Avad is meeting with citizens visitors this afternoon, I'm sure a guard can take over Marads position seeing people in and out for a while whilst he talks you through his findings."  Erend told her.   
"Great, we'll sort a few things here and go straight there then?" Kiln asked the group.    
"Sounds like a plan" Aneta said.  Lomaz just nodded, happy to go along with whatever the elder two said.  As they all went to leave Erend grabbed his arm.  
"Lomaz" the boy turned, brow furrowed, looking worried as though he thought he was in trouble, instead the captain spoke softly, "Be careful OK? I picked you because I know your sneaky and stealthy, and I need that on this mission, but don't get too ahead of yourself.  Listen to Kiln and Aneta, but don't let them push you around either."    
Lomaz nodded, "Yes captain."

* * *

Marad entered the throne room, only he was alone this time as opposed to bringing forth another visitor or citizen wishing to plead for assistance in the aftermath of the war.  Avad looked at his adviser half questioning his business, half amused.   
"Your Radiance I have news of Vanveer."  He said with a smile.  Avad sat up straight.   
"The architect who built the lifts? Brilliant! What news?"   
"He would be happy to assist with rebuilding the lifts, however he now lives outside of the city.  He is travelling here and wishes to meet this evening, shall I inform him he can dine with us this eve?"   
Avad pondered, he had been hoping to dine with Aloy and Erend once more, he supposed Vanveer and Marad could dine with them too however.  It would be a nice casual, business meal, good to ease Aloy into her new role.   
"Yes, I think that is a good idea.  Perhaps also inform Aloy of these plans."   
Marad nodded, leaving the room to collect the next visitor for the King, as he could complete the other tasks whilst the king had his next meeting.

* * *

Aloy stood alone in the bedroom, holding various items of clothing up to herself marvelling at the intricate stitching, elaborate beading of the clothes she and Ineva had found.  They had picked out a few dresses, Ineva throwing more and more dresses Aloys way than Aloy liked, but she realised that was probably how she was supposed to be dressing now.  Like a Queen.  Aloy had also dug out some old tunics and leggings she thought would be good to wear for comfort.  As she held a dress up, considering whether to try it on and see how it looked properly there was a knock at the door, she placed the dress back down on the bed and crossed the room to open it.  
"Marad, hello!" She said surprised.   
"Aloy, I was just stopping by to inform you that there is to be a guest at dinner tonight."  
"Oh?"   
"Vanveer, the architect who designed the lifts.  He is coming to discuss a new project for their repair."  
Aloy nodded, "Ah, that's good news.  Thanks for letting me know" Aloy smiled at him as Marad bowed his head and turned to leave.

Shutting the door Aloy made her way back to the pile of clothes on the bed.    
 _Well.  I guess I better wear one of these dresses tonight then..._ she thought, and began to strip out of her tunic and leggings to try one on.  She stood for a while in her underwear, pondering which one would be better.  She eventually decided upon a purple one that rather took her fancy, she wasn't much for dresses but this one was rather beautiful, yet not too flashy and garish as some carja outfits could be.  The dress was long, and haltered over the neck, exposing her back and waist.   Around the neck was a smattering of golden beads as if to form a necklace.  Aloy looked at herself in the mirror, turning slowly, she couldn't help but feel rather exposed.  She looked over her shoulder at her bare back in the mirror.    
Through the mirror she saw the door open, and Erend came in, back from his meeting with Kiln, Aneta and Lomaz.  He stopped in the door way as he saw her, their eyes meeting in the mirror, before she turned her head towards him.  She held her arms out a little, in a questioning gesture to ask what he thought.    
Erend slowly stepped into the room, slowly closing the door behind him, and creeping his way towards her.  He moved so slowly, as though with every step he thought she might disappear.  Neither of them said a word as he reached her, one hand moving up to brush her hair behind her shoulder, he trailed it along the beads then back and down her arm.  Aloy shivered at his gentle caress, closing her eyes for a second, then opening them to meet his, she was about to speak, tell him about Vanveer, explain why she was randomly in a dress, but she didn't get a chance before his mouth engulfed hers, kissing her passionately.  It took her by surprise, Aloy unsure of where his passion had come from, but she accepted it gladly, kissing back with vigour, she could feel his hand on her back, hot to the touch.  Then she felt something cold at her shoulder blades and realised they'd moved backwards and she was standing against the mirror.  They broke apart.

"Ummm..." was all Aloy could muster.  Unsure of what had just happened.   
"Sorry, you just..." he kissed her again, "you look stunning."  He breathed.   
Aloy blushed and kissed him, "thanks, I was thinking of wearing it to dinner.  Apparently we have a guest, an architect called Vanveer about repairing the lifts."   
"Yes, you should definitely wear that.  You should _always_ wear that." He murmured, kissing her again.  


	22. Chapter 22

Aloy pushed Erend away from her, gasping for breath.    
"Sorry" he said sheepishly, "I'm just so used to seeing you in armour, whenever you wear something different, it always looks odd, but  _good_ " he admitted.  Her mind flashed back to when they had gotten ready to go out for drinks at the bar the night they'd celebrated the defeat of Hades.

> _"Are you OK? Your kinda... staring"  
> _ _"Y..yeah, I..I'm fine" he stuttered, "You just... you look...umm" his hand went up to scratch the back of his neck again "You look lovely."_

_Was that why he'd been staring? Had he been feeling the same as he felt now? The same way she'd been feeling seeing him out of his armour for the first time?_ She cringed slightly at their terrible communication skills and looked at him, "It's OK.  I know the feeling." She said, blushing slightly, but not as much as Erend did as he heard that sentence.    
Aloy slipped out from where he had her against the mirror, walking over to the counter that had bottles of carja perfumes and oils, she picked up a few and placed a hand on the door to the bathroom, turning back to speak to Erend, "I was thinking of having a bath before dinner.  Especially if we are to have guests."   
Erend pulled a face, "Yeah, I probably should too.  You go ahead first though."  He moved to look through the oils and perfumes himself wondering if any of them wouldn't make him smell too much like a girl. 

Aloy walked into the bathroom and nearly fainted at what she saw.  This wasn't a bathroom so much as it was some kind of indoor hot spring!  The room was encased in marble like stone, the centre of which had been hollowed out and filled with water forming a deep pool.  Mist floated on the surface of the pool and the room was hot and humid, the water bubbled ever so slightly.  It truly did remind Aloy of the hot springs they had back in the embrace up in the mountains, only those were naturally occurring, this was clearly built to emulate them.   
"Erend!" She called out to him, "Come see this!"  
"Aloy?" She heard his voice tentatively wondering what she wanted, or if it was OK for him to come into the room, she backed out a little to show she was still dressed, he moved forward and into the room, gasping as she had done, his eyes wide.   
"Wow..." he said after a short period of silence.   
"I know" Aloy agreed.  She looked again at the pool before them.  It was huge, more than enough room for them both, and if they were both thinking of bathing before dinner... she turned to him, suddenly feeling mischievous.   
"Uh oh.  I know that look..." Erend said, backing away, but not fast enough, Aloy pounced on him, dragging him toward the pool.  "No no no no" He protested but it was no use, she was too strong for him, wait, that couldn't be right, there was no way she was stronger than he was.   She grinned, realising he wasn't really trying to stop her.

Her plan was simply to get to edge, strip, get in then coax him to do the same, feeling that once she was naked he wouldn't be able to refuse.  However she hadn't taken into consideration that she was unfamiliar with the layout of the room, she found the edge of the pool, or, more to the point, she found the pool as she moved to step back onto marble and instead stepped into water.  She yelped in surprise as she lost her balance, plunging into the water, pulling Erend with her.   The pair fell in, banging a little on the stone ledges inside the pool for people to sit on whilst they were inside, their heads broke through the surface of the pool gasping, coughing a little, but as their eyes met they dissolved into laughter.  
"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pull us in fully clothed!" Aloy laughed, crawling towards the edge of the pool and kneeling on the bench.  Erend was laughing too as he joined her, he looked over at her, his eyes also full of mischief, "Oh? What were your plans then?" He said, floating closer to her until their bodies found each other and their lips locked in a wet kiss from the water still on their faces.

Her hands reached down to his waist, tugging his shirt out from where it was tucked into his trousers, reaching under it to feel his skin, pulling his shirt up.  He reached his hands behind him, tugging it off, throwing it down beside the pool, she did the same, pulling off her dress as he watched, once off he moved to kiss her again, but she wasn't done.  Reaching down, maintaining eye contact she tugged off the underwear she was wearing, dangling it in front of him for a split second before casting it aside and moving to take the remaining piece from around her breasts.    
He watched her remove her underwear, but as she went for the remainder he too began to take off his trousers and underwear.  

For a moment they stayed apart, looking at each other, seemingly both unsure what to do next.  Nervous despite having spent the night naked in bed together, but they were soon pressed together again, both moving towards each other at the same time, their lips crashing together so forcefully their teeth clashed.   She let her hands explore his body once more, making a mental map of each crest and fall, wishing it wasn't hidden under the water so she could see it.  She could feel his hands doing the same, she felt him ghost a tentative hand across the space between her thighs, her breath hitched, she opened her eyes their kissing halting, his own icy blue eyes stared back at her, although somehow they seemed darker than usual.   He moved his hand slowly back, eyes never leaving hers, watching for any sign of discomfort or uncertainty, but she didn't give him any, she just stayed, meeting his gaze, silently begging to be touched.  She felt his hand move across her slit, the new sensation made her tense and gasp slightly, causing him to stop, concern in his eyes but she shook her head and rocked her hips against his hand.

Slowly she felt a single finger protrude into her wetness before sliding along to her nub flicking at it, she gasped, eyes wide, still staring into his which seemed to light up at her gasp of pleasure.  He slowly traced her, his finger moving in circles around her causing her to emit a long moan.  He kissed her then, hand still working, as they kissed he further took her by surprise as his finger found its way back to her entrance and slowly moved up inside of her, she whimpered into the kiss, leaning on Erend heavily, her body fully at his mercy.  As his finger probed inside her she heard him moan too, exiting and returning to rub her causing her to jerk and shake as she buried her head into his neck.   
She became aware she was sitting on his lap now, practically straddling him again, she moved her hips as best she could, finding his cock she tried to move to rub herself against it, he complied, moving his hand and letting his head rub over her.  She felt frantic now, her need for him a burning pit inside of her, she tried to position herself to take him but he moved away from her.  

"No." He said, Aloy looked at him, hurt and confusion on her face, which he reached out "I want you so much, but I want you when I can see you, feel you better, show you better how much I want you. I want to make it special." He explained, she understood, it would be nicer to see him, and probably be nicer to not be the one in control too, she had no idea what she was doing.  She pushed her head forward against his hands to kiss him, his hands finding their way into her hair.

* * *

"Vanveer!" Avad held his arms wide in a welcoming gesture to his old friend, greeting him with an embrace.  "I hope your journey was uneventful?"  
"Avad, oops, sorry!" The elderly man held a hand to his mouth as he apologised, then bowed "I mean, your radiance."   
"Come now Vanveer! You know there is no need to these formalities between us."    
Vanveer sniggered, "now now young Avad, manners is manners." He gently scolded, before his demeanour took on a more serious look, "how are you doing?" He said quietly, eyes scanning the guards around the room, as though he didn't want them to overhear.  
"Vanveer my old friend I am fine." Avad soothed throwing an arm around the old mans shoulders.  Vanveer gave Avad a look which showed he didn't much believe him.  "Really, there is much work to be done to rebuild, and of course my heart aches for the plight of my people.  But we have come out of this victorious!  The war is won, and whilst we sustained losses, 'twas no where near as many as I thought.  I consider this a resounding victory!"  

As he spoke he steered his friend through the throne room into the main palace towards the dining hall.    
"Still as lavish as ever I see." The old man speculated as he touched the marble pillars.   
"Yes well.  Its not really to my taste exactly but, the place was already built.  There was little sense to tearing it down and wasting resources just to build a more humble abode."   
"Of course, of course!" Muttered the man, "Avad, you do a fine job, you deserve some luxuries!" He exclaimed, waving his hands in the hair.   
Avad laughed at his eccentricity.  It would be fun to work with Vanveer once more.  Marad swept across the foyer towards them, "Sire the dining hall is ready if you wish to use it now."   
"Ha ha! Marad!" Vanveer cheered, tottering over and giving Marad a big hug which Marad gladly accepted, beaming.   
"Welcome Vanveer.  So nice to have you back with us."   
Vanveer remained silent, patting Marad gently on the back.  But Avad could see in the old mans eyes that the welcoming sentiments of the palace meant a lot to him.

They made their way towards the dining hall, where Ineva waited by the door, excitedly.   She too was eager to greet their guest.  Vanveer gasped when he saw her, moving forward to take her hands as he surveyed her, "Ineva.  Look at you!  Such beauty!" Ineva blushed as he pulled her into an embrace.   
"Thank you Vanveer, you're too kind!" She said.   
"Nonsense!" Vanveer waved her away, "You are very beautiful! It should be said!" He looked back at Avad and Marad for back up.   
"Of course she is." Avad said smiling warmly at Ineva, who was now blushing even more.  "But for now shall we take a seat?" He gestured to the laid out dining table, eager to get the frail man sitting down and comfortable.   
"Stop fussing boy!  Kings don't fuss!" He chastised, causing Ineva to giggle and Avad to roll his eyes.   Marad smiled, taking over and guiding his friend to a seat, he poured him some water, which the guest gladly took, clearly thirsty from his journey.

Feeling better, Avad took his seat at the head of the table, next to Vanveer.  The table was set with room for three more people, Marad, Aloy and Erend.  A member of his kitchen staff appeared at his side with a bottle of wine, Avad nodded, but stayed watching Vanveer who was eating some bread, peering quizzically at all the places that were set.   
"A lot of places set at this table tonight.  Didn't realise you had other guests.  We could've done this another day lad." He told Avad, who just smiled.   
"Truly, you are my only guest."  He assured.  It didn't really feel like a lie, yes technically Aloy was a guest, but he had to keep up the pretence that she was in fact his fiancée, if that was the case, she wouldn't really be classed as a guest, it would be her home too.  Vanveer looked confused about Avads response, which was to be expected, if he was the only guest, why so many settings?    
Right on cue, Aloy and Erend entered the room, Ineva greeting them with a small curtsy, she moved to show Aloy to her seat, but Avad got up, motioning for Ineva to leave it to him.

He was struck by her beauty that evening, in a green gown that swept down to her ankles, around her waist was a bejewelled belt, cinching it in, showing how small she was without her armour.  Her hair was without its usual braiding, and instead was gently curled.  Some beading had been left in, as was her usual style.   She wore some soft eyeliner, styled out at the ends of her eyes in the usual Carja fashion, and red lipstick adorned her lips, plumping them out.   Around her neck she wore some golden necklaces, and on one arm she had some golden bangles, on the other, a golden clasp around her forearm.   She looked every inch the Queen, and for a moment Avad almost forgot that wasn't.    
He moved towards her, being careful not to look at Erend.  He placed his hand on her waist and kissed her cheek.  "Aloy, you look radiant."   She allowed herself to be brought into his embrace, even kissing him lightly on the lips, which took him by surprise.  Gathering himself he spoke, "there is someone I want you to meet."  He guided her towards Vanveer, who stood up as they approached, eyes wide as he took her in. 

"Vanveer, I would like you to meet Aloy.  Saviour of Meridian, she won us the war, without her this city would not still be standing."  He paused for a moment, clearing his throat, he glanced at Erend, who looked thoroughly uncomfortable and displeased with the situation, he looked as though he was desperately longing to be the one with his arm around Aloys waist right now, Avad didn't blame him.  "Aloy is, also to become Meridians Queen.  My wife."  He said, pushing down his thoughts of Erends unhappiness and instead focusing in on the lie, trying to make it real he beamed at Aloy, pulling her a little closer.

Aloy held a hand out to Vanveer, "Its a pleasure to meet you Vanveer.  Avad has told me many things."  Of course he had  _not_ and he hoped Vanveer didn't ask for any specifics.  Aloy had clearly picked up on the familiarity between the two, noting that Vanveer was someone who was important to Avad, and as such, would probably be someone he'd have spoken about to his fiancée.    
Vanveer chuckled, taking Aloys hand he kissed it, "I'll bet he has.  Pleasure to meet you."  He turned to Avad, "lad she's every bit as beautiful as your mother was.  She would be proud."  Avad smiled, a little sadly at the memory of his mother, and at the fact that she of course wouldn't be proud because he wasn't marrying Aloy at all.  He wished he didn't have to lie to his old friend, but with guards and waiters all around and the potential for Dakasha spies, he couldn't afford to not keep up the pretence.  He moved Aloy towards her seat, drawing it out for her to sit down and pushing it back in for her.  Erend took this opportunity to sit down next to her, he noticed she looked his way and gave him an encouraging smile, which was only weakly returned.  Avad sympathised, this must be hard for him. 

Again a the waiter appeared with wine, pouring them all a glass, to which Avad decided he should raise a toast; "To old friends reunited once more, to rebuilding a city, and of course, to the beautiful Aloy."  Aloy flushed at the attention, sipping the wine tentatively, still remembering the ale and mead from that night at the bar and how she had felt the following day.   
Vanveer looked at her from across the table, noticing her blush, "pretty and modest eh?  You could learn a lot from this one Avad."  He winked at the king, who laughed.   
"Yes, I could and I do.  She inspires me everyday." Again he beamed at Aloy, sure his devotion was shining through but he couldn't help it, this wasn't difficult for him because he didn't have to pretend.  He loved Aloy and he thought the world of her even if she wasn't really his.  He placed a hand over hers on the table.  
"Its so nice to see love blossom despite the bad circumstances" Vanveer said happily.  
"I'll drink to that!" Aloy said, grinning at him, raising her wine glass once more.  Vanveer laughed.    
"Yes! I like her! Watch yourself Avad I may steal her from you!" He said with a wink at Aloy, who laughed winking back. 

* * *

Aloy felt awkward as Avad rushed to meet her at the door, but she bit it down, holding herself high, greeting him warmly.  She even kissed him, which she hadn't been planning on and had thought she should try to avoid it, but it just seemed like a natural thing to do in that situation so she rolled with it.  Careful not to look at Erend.   
She had to pick out a different dress for the evening, her other one still soaked from the pool.  Cynes had helped her accessorise and curl her hair, then had even done her make up for her.  The whole process had been quite frankly, exhausting and she wondered how these Carja noblewomen went through this everyday!  Although, she had felt it worth the while to see the way Erend had looked at her when she entered their room again.  She had to stop him from kissing her and ruining the carefully applied lipstick, although she didn't want to. 

As soon as she met Vanveer she noticed the friendly ease between him and Avad realising that they must have known each other for a while.  He seemed a nice old man, and as they sat down to eat she found herself warming to him and his jokes. Beside her she could sense Erends unhappiness with the situation as she laughed and joked with Avad, flirting shamelessly.  But under the table, she reached out touching his leg, stroking him there, trying to subtly remind him that regardless of her acting she belonged to  _him._  When she did this, he looked over to her, then reached out grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze, she knew this was his way of giving a silent thanks. 

 


	23. Chapter 23

The evening passed in a haze of wine and food.  Aloy noticed that Erend, despite his tendency toward drink was not partaking in as much as the rest of the group,  whilst it pleased her that he wasn't drinking, the change in behaviour troubled her somewhat.  

As the meal ended and Vanveer, Avad and Marad went over to a side table to look over blueprints Vanveer had bought with him Aloy hung back a step, causing Erend to bump into her with a soft 'oof'.   
"Are you ok?" She rounded on him, concerned.  
"Aloy- What?  Yeah, 'spose.  Just hard, seeing you with him..." He scowled over at the king.   
"But I'm **not** with him, I'm with _you_ " she replied softly, making sure no one else could hear her.  
He smiled at her saying nothing.  

"Aloy!" Avad was beckoning her over, "Come see these plans of Vanveers!"  
With one last lingering glance at Erend, Aloy turned and moved away.  The concern on her face melting away into a bright smile as she approached them, Avad has his arm out ready for her, but Vanveer beat him to it, rushing to meet her, placing an arm around her waist bringing her forward.   
"Yes! Yes! Do you know much about lifts or architecture miss?"  
"Aloy, please." She implored, "and no.  I can't say I do.  As we established over dinner, I am just a nora outcast."  She blushed, feeling a little out of her depth in these situations.  Avad moved towards her he gently stroked a hand down her face, "Come now, Aloy.  Do not sell yourself short." He kissed her forehead.  Vanveer looked on, positively beaming.  Clearing her throat Aloy looked down at the blue prints.  They were not as she expected.  She had expected crudely drawn diagrams, more mathematical than artsy.  But these were elaborately drawn, possibly even painted, to give the viewer a real look into what the finished project would look like.   
"Wow" she said breathlessly, "I didn't expect..."   
"How is a man to build beautiful buildings and cities, if they cannot first draw them?" Vanveer asked her.   Was she supposed to answer that?  Unsure she settled for nodding.   
"They are even more elaborate than the last set! Is this feasible?  Given the current need of many of the citizens..." Aloy looked over at Avad. 

"You see Vanveer, just as I said, Queen of the people." He kissed her head again.  "Fear not my queen, although I seek to start work on these lifts as soon as possible for ease of my people, I think we can get a rudimentary service installed whilst we work on other projects.  I'm sure they would also benefit from your great insights Vanveer." Avad grinned at the man, who rolled his eyes.   
"Oh I see how it is.  Get me down here to work on lifts then throw in a bunch of other projects! Can't a man retire in peace!?" He looked annoyed, but Avad just laughed.  Aloy stood between them awkwardly.   
"I'm sure if you do not wish to be involved with other projects you do not have to be..." She said hastily trying to defuse the situation, which just caused Vanveer to laugh at her, pulling her into a hug by the waist, "I'm just messing lass! Of course I will be happy to help with other projects around the city." 

Aloy sighed exasperated.  But joined in the laughter anyway.  She turned to Avad, who was looking at her with bemusement, as she opened her mouth to speak he interrupted, "Yes. He's always like this."   
This caused Aloy to laugh again, patting Avad on the chest.     
"If you wish to seek out other work in the city look no further than Erend here.  Although he is currently assigned as Aloys personal guard, he is captain of the vanguard, whom have set up a help base in the city centre" Avad said, pointing over to Erend who was standing beside the table back to the wall.  He looked over and nodded.   
"Ah excellent! Perhaps we can take a walk down tomorrow then!" The elderly man said, full of excitement.  Erend shifted uncomfortably.   
"Well I'm meant to be protecting Aloy..."   
"I am sure she will be fine for an afternoon Erend.  Besides, she will be with me." Avad was hugging her to him again.  He seemed to be acting rather possessively for someone who knew this was all a farce.  Erend seemed to have noticed this too and a short frown crossed his face, but he quickly covered it, bowing slightly, "Yes your grace." 

Not wishing arguments to break out, Aloy faked a yawn, "Oh dear.  That wine has gone straight to my head, I feel quite tired!" She smiled up at Avad, "I think I will retire to my bed chamber."  
"Of course" Avad muttered.   
"Your bed chamber?" Vanveer looked confused, for moment Aloy wasn't sure why until Avad jumped in.   
"She means our bed chamber.  Its hers too though, so she isn't wrong to call it as such" he grinned.  He beckoned to a guard whom Aloy recognised as Folrig, "Folrig, could you show Vanveer to his quarters?"   
"Of course your grace." He bowed, then turned to Vanveer, "Please, follow me sir."  
Avad turned to Aloy, pulling her closer still so he could whisper in her ear, "You best follow me to my chambers, just for a while.  Make it seem as though you retire there to not arouse suspicion" Aloy nodded, allowing herself to be pulled away with Avad, she turned slightly to look at Erend although seeing his face she wished she hadn't.  He looked at her as though his heart might break.   Turning her head away she walked off with Avad.  

His chambers were not far, more luxurious than hers were, Aloy was glad she wasn't staying here, far too grand for her.   
"Apologies Aloy.  I didn't mean for this to occur.  Perhaps if I had thought faster, we could've concocted another story as to why you are staying in a different chamber to me..."   
"Its fine, Avad.  I knew what I was signing up for here, as did Erend."   
"Yes.  How are things with Erend?  You seem very much, together... now."  He said, struggling to get the words out.  Aloy looked at him sympathetically.   
"Well, we are together now.  That's why I wanted him here.  Although now I'm not sure its best for him, its hard for him to see us together."  
Avad nodded, "I understand.  Lets hope this doesn't need to continue for very long." Aloy nodded, "Come, I think Vanveer will be in his room by now."  He put his arm around her once more, but around her shoulders this time, escorting her out of his room, back to her own.

* * *

Erend watched her leave with Avad, to Avads bed chamber.  Damn that old man, couldn't keep his damn mouth shut! Erend cursed him in his mind, not taking his eyes off Aloy, whom he noticed had turned to look at him, meeting her eyes his heart ached to run to her, grab her from Avads embrace.  He was terrified of what might occur between the two behind Avads closed chamber door.   
_Oh shut up, she doesn't want to be going to his chambers any more than you want her to be!_ The Ersa in his head told him sternly.  He forced himself to look at Aloy properly, noting the sadness in her eyes.  Ersa was right, Aloy didn't want this.  

After they left Erend was unsure what to do with himself.  Should he go back to their chamber?  He supposed he should, it was his chamber as well.   
He moved away, deciding to head there, where he could be alone with his emotions.  As he passed Marad put a hand on his arm, giving him a look of sympathy, Erend gave a small nod of thanks.  He strode off to the room, greeting Tajina at the door with a nod, just wanting to go in, but she stopped him.  
"Aren't you captain of the vanguard?" She asked.   
"Yes." He responded, unsure why she was asking.  
"Why does the captain of the vanguard, need palace guards?" She said, eyebrow raised.   
"I don't.  Aloy does."   
"Riiiight.  But if you are guarding Aloy, why does she need us?"   
"A Queen can never have too much protection.  Especially one who someone recently tried to poison." Erend pointed out, "I'm here incase anything, or anyone, gets past you."   
Tajina snorted, "That's not going to happen."  
"Well then, guess my job will be easy!" With that he opened the door and went in, shutting it quickly.  He let out a sigh, resting his head against the door.  

His eyes skirted around the room wondering what to do in Aloys absence.  First he decided to take off his armour.  Whilst he wasn't in full gear, it was necessary that he wear his armour whilst around the Palace to keep up the pretence that he was there as a guard.  He stripped to his undershirt and leggings, taking off his boots to leave his feet bare, he considered for a moment, then removed his shirt, it was a warm night.  He crossed the room to open the windows, letting loose a sigh of relief as the cool night breeze flowed through them.   
To his left his eyes spotted a bookcase, filled with various books.  He examined it, looking for anything interesting to read, he spotted one about the Nora, removing it from its shelf, moving and sitting down on the sofa he flicked through the book. 

He wasn't sure how long he was sat there when the door opened again.  "Thank you for walking me here Avad.  It wasn't necessary." He heard Aloy saying, followed by the voice of the sun king,   
"Nonsense Aloy!  You are my Queen."    
He heard the unmistakable sound of them kissing, making him feel sick and hot with anger.  He tried to push the feelings aside, focusing on the book.  But he saw movement as Aloy entered the room, he looked up.   She was staring at the door, arms by her side.   
"If you want to stay with him..." Erend started, but was silenced by her glare.   
"What!?  **NO**!" She turned back to the door, then around, leaning against it, looking at him now, "Is that what you think?" She sighed, looking dejected, running a hand through her hair she allowed herself to slowly sink to the floor, sitting knees bent, arms folded over them she lent her head against them.  "Its all such a mess" he vaguely heard her mutter.  They stayed in silence for a while, Erends mind working overtime, unsure what to say, until he was tugged from his chaotic thoughts by the sound of Aloy gasping for breath.  He looked over, she remained in the same position at the door, but her body shook and he realised, she was crying. 

"Aloy!" He rushed to her side, kneeling down in front of her, taking her arms to get to her, he looked at her, confused and concerned, "What's wrong?"  
She shook her head, "I just... You think I want Avad... I don't want to lose you.  I'm so scared." She looked at him and he saw it, the fear in her eyes.  Aloy was never afraid... He pulled her to him.   
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.  I never meant..." He didn't know what to say, instead he kissed the top of her head, "Don't be scared.  I'll always be here, I promise." She moved away, looking at him.  
"Really?"  
He placed his hands on her either side of her face, staring into her eyes, "Hey.  Don't you trust me?"  She smiled a little, nodding. "Then trust me! I promise, I'm not going anywhere." 

She brought her eyes back to meet his, staring into them for a moment, before surging forward towards him, she kissed him, deeply.  Shock prevented him from instantly returning the kiss, but not for too long.  They sat, Aloy curled into him on the floor, kissing, he didn't know for how long.  She moved a hand down to his chest, then pulled away, confusion on her face.   
"Your... not wearing a shirt." She said.   Erend laughed.   
"I was hot" he explained.   
"Well.  Then this hardly seems fair." She said, now it was hit turn to be confused.  Aloy rose to her feet, causing him to follow.  Once up she pulled at her dress, hitching it up, then over her head she cast it aside.  She reached down and removed her sandals, she turned pulling her hair forward.   
"Can you undo these necklaces for me?" She said.  But he was frozen, staring at her.  "Erend?" He jolted back to reality and began fiddling with the clasps as Aloy removed her bracelets.  Finally he managed to get the necklaces off, he placed them by her bracelets on the table.    
She turned back to him, kissing him again, moving him towards the bed.

 _Nuh uh Nora girl.  You don't get to be in charge here.  
_ He picked her up making her squeal, moving to the bed he half threw her onto it.  Her eyes were wide with excitement and naivety, they looked so  _green_ tonight, so beautiful, he pulled off his trousers and climbed over onto her.  Kissing her again, allowing his hands to roam her body, he tugged off the cloth around he breasts, exposing them he moved kissing down her neck he fondled them, before moving to suckle on her nipples.  She moaned, spurring him on, he loved to hear her moan.   
He kissed down, further hearing Aloy whimper as he left her breasts, he grinned.   _Oh Aloy, this will be so much better..._ he thought as he kissed down her taut abdomen and along the line of her pants.  He moved, hands tugging them off, she complied, he moved back down kissing along the red hair on her mound.  

"Erend, what?-" He heard her say, he decided to answer by pulling her legs over his shoulders, he tentatively licked across her slit, she gasped, her question answered. Their eyes met, hers wide with surprise and confusion and lust.  He smirked at her, then delved his tongue in again, deeper this time, she tasted every bit as sweet as he had imagined, and he licked at her hungrily.   He looked up at Aloy, her head was back on the pillow as she moaned in delight, squirming at his touch.  He pulled her closer into him, his tongue delving deeper, as far as he could go, he felt her grab at his hair.  Could taste her getting wetter beneath him, making him hard.  He pulled his cock free from his pants, relieving himself from the strain.  But his mouth never left her, his tongue gently flicking over her clit, causing her back to arch off the bed.   He kept on, flicking at it more, making her shudder and cry out beneath him.  He hoped the door and walls were thick...

"Erend... Erend please..." He heard her voice, he moved up her body to find her face, "I'm ready.  I wanna..." her sentence was cut short as he kissed her.   
"Are you sure?" He asked, stroking her hair at the top of her head.  
"Yes.  So sure... Please..." She was practically begging him, her hips raising slightly, eyes pleading.  There was no resisting this.  He pulled off his pants and readied himself above her, she instinctively moved her legs to grip around his abdomen.  As he hovered just at her entrance he kissed her again.  
"It might hurt, a little... I'll be gentle..." He stroked her hair again, and pushed in, slowly, only the tip. Waiting for her reaction, which came as a gasp, staring at his face, their eyes met, he pushed further, he saw pain flash across her face, he stopped, "Are you OK?"  She responded by simply pushing her hips against him, which caused her to call out in pain from the forceful movement of him sinking deeper.  "Hey hey.  Careful, just.. let me do this yeah?" He looked down at her, "Trust me." At those words he felt her relax beneath him, she stopped pushing for it, letting him take control.  He resumed his slow gentle decent, until finally he was fully inside, she gasped from the sensation and the pain of it, he waited, allowing her body to get used to the new sensation, before he slowly moved himself, thrusting so gently, barely moving out of her, not wanting to cause more discomfort.  He kept his eyes trained on her face, on her eyes, searching for any sign of pain or displeasure, when he saw it he wold stop, wait until she motioned for him to continue. 

Her body accustomed to him quickly though, and soon he could pick up momentum.  Not to the pace he would normally use, no where near, this was slow, deliberate.  His hand that had been at her head moved down, pulling her body towards him in a tight embrace, he felt her own arms around him, pulling him in too.  He moaned, reaching for her head, tangling his hand in her hair she moved, causing his hand to fall onto her face, stroking it he kissed her,  but it was short and sweet, their minds too focused on their conjoined body parts, causing them both to moan into the kiss.   
It was all so much sweeter, so much more sensational than he'd imagined, better than he'd ever hoped or dreamed.  He felt so close to her, as though they had become one person.  They rocked together, moaned together, their bodies in sync.  Erend despite his many trysts had never experienced anything so intense.  He kissed her neck, he was close, he moaned her name, over and over.  Almost as though he was making himself believe it was truly her, he heard her respond in kind,  whispering his own name.  He moved back to look at her, his eyes meeting her green ones once more.  His hand rested on her face, fuck she was beautiful.   
"Aloy..." He panted again, "I..." fuck. Just say it.  "I love you."  He'd said it before, but the situation hadn't been anywhere near as intense as this.  He stared into her eyes, waiting for the response, still thrusting inside of her.  Her eyes lit up with happiness, a hand moving to caress his face too.  "I love you too." She breathed. 

And that was all it took. He held her so tight as he came, only moving her so he could kiss her, before holding her again.  He stayed inside her, not wanting to remove himself and no longer be apart of her body.  Biology took over and left himself move to the side of her, keeping her close.  She seemed content with that, snuggling up to him he heard her sigh happily.   
"I meant it you know." He said, not wanting her to think he'd just said that in the heat of the moment.   
"I know. So did I." She said simply, as though it was obvious, he just grinned wildly, letting his hand run up and down her back, he couldn't remember a time he felt so content, so happy.  He heard her breathing change, looking down he saw she had fallen asleep, head on his shoulder, smile still plastered across her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? Another chapter!? This wasn't supposed to come out yet???   
> Please excuse any typos or terrible writing im kinda drunk but i had this in mind and just decided to write it anyway. But alcohol really started to hit me about half way through, but like... i was halfway through i wasn't just gonna STOP. 
> 
> Anyhoo. YAY! They finally did it! Took them long enough!!! Still bit rude.... In Avads own house! Tut tut ;) Kinky bastards.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting notes at the beginning rather than the end to apologise for such a long wait for an update! Reason being I've been quite ill the last week or so and on seriously heavy antibiotics that literally made me high as fuck. Didn't want to write during this time because my concentration was super low and anything I wrote would probably be terrible. 
> 
> Anyway hope you all enjoy this chapter! Please leave feedback :)

Aloy was woken by the sun streaming through the window, the curtains were open, as was the window leaving the room slightly chilly if it wasn't for the sunlight.   Aloy found that despite this her body was rather warm, the reason being for the man lying next to her was almost as hot as the sun itself.   They were still cuddled up, but their positions had shifted during the night and she was now lying with her back against his body, he was facing her, one arm under her head, the other draped around her waist, keeping her close.  She could feel from his breath against her neck that he was still asleep, or at least, half asleep, she debated for a moment, but ultimately decided that she could wait no longer.  She turned slowly, trying not to move around too much, blue eyes met her own as she faced him "Damn, sorry I didn't wanna wake you."  She said softly, reaching her hand up to stroke across his face.  
"You didn't really.  Was already awake."  He grinned at her, her mind flashed back to the previous morning 

> _"Were you watching me sleep?" She queried, eyebrow raised.  Erend blushed a little._  
>  _"Maybe" he said playfully._

"Were you watching me sleep  ** _again?_** "  She asked, he blushed.   
"Only a little..."   
Aloy rolled her eyes, but snuggled closer to kiss him.   Once they started they couldn't seem to stop, their lips moving together, hands roaming, until Aloy heard a noise outside, the faintest of footsteps walking towards her room.  She pulled away from Erend, eliciting a groan of disappointment from him Aloy held her hand to his face "Ssshh, I think I hear something..."  
Erend went silent, concentration settling across his face as he strained to hear what she could.

Outside the room they heard the mumbled tones of Folrig greeting the king, and Avads greeting back, before he knocked at the door.    
Aloy and Erend looked at each other wide eyed, not wanting the King to find them like this, but now seemingly having no choice in the matter.  Aloy slid out of bed, taking one of the silk sheets with her to wrap around her naked body "Your gonna answer the door like that?" Erend said quietly, eyebrow raised.    
"Well I haven't got time to get dressed now have I!? He's literally outside!!" Aloy hissed as Erend moved to sit up against the headboard, displaying his broad chest, Aloy moved around the bed towards the door stopping for a moment as she walked up his side of the bed to brush her hand across his chest.  Their eyes met...

"Aloy?" Avads voice called through the door causing Aloy to jump away from Erend, shaking her head to clear away the thoughts running through it, which had nothing to do with the man outside the door, and everything to do with the man in her bed.   
"Dammit Avad." She heard Erend growl from behind her, causing her to grin, she made her way to the door, took a deep breath, and opened it.  
"Hey Avad! Whats up?" She said trying to sound calm and chilled but probably sounding anything but if Erends snort was anything to go by.

* * *

Avad didn't know what he'd expected when he'd gone to visit Aloy after his meeting with Tajina.  The Carja guard had sought him out after her shift had ended for what had been a thoroughly unpleasant and awkward conversation.  

"Your Radiance." She curtseyed, eliciting a look of puzzled bemusement from Avad who knew Tajina well enough to know that she only acted so formally around him when something was wrong, or to wind up him.   
"Tajina? To what do I owe this morning visit?" He said beckoning her into the room where he was being served breakfast he motioned for her to take a seat.   
"I have something... That is to say I heard... Its just..." She stumbled, not meeting his eye, her face reddening.   
"Spit it out! I don't have all day!" Avad said smiling at her.  
"I think your vanguard captain is sleeping with your fiancée" she blurted it out, speaking so fast it almost came out as if it was all one word, after speaking she clapped a hand to her mouth, eyes wide.  Ineva who was serving the King dropped a jug of cream spilling it over the table, "I'm so sorry, let me just..." She began dabbing at it with some cloth but Avad stopped her.   
"Nevermind.  Please, leave us a moment.  Everyone." He looked around at all his guards as he asked they all leave the room so he and Tajina could talk in peace.  Once they were alone he looked at her, "Speak." He said, his tone stern.  Tajina looked at him, her eyes betraying a look of fear.    
"I... I don't wish to gossip or spread rumour Sire, its just that..." She was fidgeting with a napkin as she spoke, hands trembling, "I was stationed outside their room last night and... I heard them." She ended abruptly, and quite simply.  Avad sighed, he knew the answer but he couldn't just assume he was correct in it, to know how to proceed he needed to know unequivocally what she had heard.  
"What did you hear, Tajina?" He said, his voice low.  She looked at him, as though she couldn't believe he was asking the question.   
"I heard them... I mean, I  _think_ I heard them ..." She lowered her voice to a whisper, "having sex" her cheeks were bright red, she was looking anywhere but him.   
"Why do you think that is what you heard?" Avad probed further.  He didn't want to know, but he  _needed_ to know.    
"For fuck sake avad!" Tajina burst out, then clapped a hand to her mouth again.  "I am  _ **so sorry."**_ Avad waved his hand, he didn't care about her outburst, he just needed an answer.  "I heard moaning, sounds of the bed... moving slightly... you know that kinda thing... that's it.  That's everything I just... thought you should know."  She reached out to him, eyes full of pity and sadness. 

Avad was angry.  _How could they be so **stupid?**_ _Surely they knew that someone could hear? They knew there were guards there!_ He was also upset, Tajinas confession bringing his reality crashing down around him after his almost perfect evening with Aloy by his side.     
_Now what? Do I let her think Aloy is being unfaithful? How do I reconcile that with staying with her? Do I tell Tajina what is happening?_  
He sat thinking for a while, he had known Tajina for sometime now, she was a Carja women, born to a high ranking military father who had helped Avad take down his own father.  It was highly unlikely she was a Dakasha spy... his thoughts were interrupted  by her voice.  
"Avad? Your highness? Are you OK?" She had moved closer to him, resting a hand on his shoulder, eyes boring into him full of sadness and compassion.  Avad sighed.   
"Yes. I'm OK." He said, Tajina looked puzzled, her face betraying that she did not believe him. "Look, Tajina, there is something you should know..." he faced her, removing her hand from his shoulder and holding it, he didn't know why.  He just felt, bad he supposed for having lied to her in the first place.  "Aloy and I... we aren't really a couple." He said, Tajina gasped the hand he was holding moving to her mouth.   
"What!? But then why is she here? Why say you are??" The questions were coming out before she could stop them, he knew because once spoken she again put her hand over her mouth looking sheepish at her rudeness in questioning the King.   
"Its OK.  I was going to explain that." Avad reassured her, smiling. "The reason is that this tribe the Dakasha poisoned her, we believe because  _they think_ she  **is** with me.  I did ask her to marry me, but she turned me down, told me she was in love with Erend..." he smiled sadly before continuing, "we've decided to try and keep up the pretence that Aloy accepted my proposal.  We think there may be a spy in the palace, hence how they knew about us possibly being a couple to begin with.  Aloy is here as bait, hoping they will attempt to take her again." 

Tajina was staring, eyes wide, "Wow." Was all she said after a while, "that's.... wow."  Avad chuckled.  "Makes sense I understand the plan... also answers why she has a guard with her in her room and us outside..." she looked thoughtful, then looked over at Avad again, reaching out to him "I'm so sorry she turned you down.  She's an idiot." She said, smiling warmly at him, which made him laugh, grasping her hand again.  
"No, she's not.  Erend loves her far more than I do... I spoke to him" he added that caveat following a confused look from Tajina, "I love Aloy, and I do care for her deeply, but I cannot give her a life that she would be happy with.  Erend can." He said simply, suddenly dropping Tajinas hand as he realised he had been stroking it absent-mindedly.   
Tajina regarded him, then stood, "Nah.  She's still an idiot." She said with a wink.  

Then she'd left, promising not to tell a soul about the plan, not even her partner in guard Folrig, and Avad had a mental note to go and speak to Aloy and Erend after breakfast.  A thought that did not make him feel remotely like eating.  
All this had led to this moment in time now, as he stood before Aloy who only had a silk sheet wrapped around her for modesty, behind her in the bed he could see a bare chested Erend.  What a brilliant morning this had turned out to be he thought bitterly.  He pushed Aloy inside, thankful that Folrigs sense of duty meant he was standing to attention, eyes forward, hopefully he hadn't seen Aloy.   
He pushed her quite roughly, moving inside himself, aware that meant their bodies were awfully close, he reached behind him shutting the door forcefully.   
"Hey!" Erend called out, looking angry and making to get out of the bed himself, but Aloy put a hand out behind her.   
"What were you  _thinking!?"_  Avad hissed his face close to hers, eyes moving erratically from side to side, but never leaving hers.  Aloy blushed, looking down, but Avad grabbed her face,  pulling it up so she was forced to look at him again, " _look at me!"_ His anger was evident, boiling over, Aloy looked at him wide eyed, he could tell he was scaring her slightly, probably more because of his change in demeanour than her actually being scared that he could hurt her.    
Suddenly she was pulled away from him, the force making her stumble slightly, he looked to the side, Erend had quickly pulled on some trousers, getting up and pulling Aloy to him.   
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" He growled at Avad, moving in front of Aloy so he stood facing Avad instead, his eyes full of fire, extinguishing the flames of Avads anger almost instantly.   
"I... I don't know.  I'm sorry.  Aloy..." He moved to reach for her but Erend blocked him.  "Yes, of course." Avad muttered, and he moved instead to sit on the sofa across the room.  Sighing running a hand through his hair.  He could hear Erend speaking to Aloy behind him. 

"Are you OK?" He asked her softly.  Avad sat down, glancing over he could see that Erend had bent himself to her level, his hands now on her face, but stroking her cheeks gently, eyes searching hers but in a concerned way.  Aloy still looked a little shaken, her only response a nod, but her brow furrowed in confusion, Erend pulled her towards him, resting his chin on her head and stroking her back. "Its OK." He said soothingly, he glared at Avad, who looked away, ashamed with himself.   
"What was that about?" He asked, still holding Aloy.   
"I... I just had a meeting with Tajina, one of your guards... It wasn't pleasant." He said with a grimace.   
"So? What does that have to with us? With Aloy!?" Erend said angrily.   
"It was about you two!" Avad hissed, trying to keep his voice down so Folrig didn't hear.  "She heard you two, last night." He wasn't going to say it, but anger had flared slightly again and he spat the words out before he could stop himself, "having sex." His lips pursed, his eyes met Erends, despite her face being buried into Erends chest he heard Aloy gasp. 

"Fuck." Erend mumbled.  
"Yes well. Apparently you did." Avad said coldly.   
Erend blushed, Aloy moved away from him, and moved over to Avad.  "Oh Avad, I'm so sorry... we didn't mean..." she sat down next to him sighing, "I feel awful." She said, looking over at him, he looked at her, their eyes meeting, he could tell she did feel bad.  Erend scratched at the back of his neck as he too came over, pulling a chair out to face them on the sofa, "Yeah... me too, didn't mean to hurt you Avad..."   
Avad nodded, accepting their apology, "Its fine, I know you two are a couple and I want you to be happy.  What concerned me is the fact the guards heard you! Luckily Tajina is a trusted enough guard that I filled her in regarding the situation.  Seemed a better plan than letting her believe Aloy was... unfaithful."  Beside him Aloy winced.  "I'm just disappointed you aren't taking this seriously" Avad said sternly, "I understand your desires, believe me I do" He was looking at Erend now, who squirmed, uncomfortable at this revelation that he too desired Aloy sexually, which really shouldn't be a surprise.  "But have some self control.  Please.  Remember why we are here!"   
Both Erend and Aloy looked sheepish, like children being scolded by a parent, they whispered another apology to the King, who turned to Aloy, taking her hands in his.  "However... Aloy.  I shouldn't have been so harsh with you before.  I just, got caught up in my emotions of hurt and worry for your safety, but there is no excuse.  I sincerely apologise, and I hope we can move past this and continue with our plans." He searched her eyes finding them full of compassion and understanding, relief swept over him.  
"Of course Avad.  I understand." She reached out and stroked his face, "I never wanted to hurt you" she lent in, wrapping her arms around his neck, he sat dumbstruck for a moment before placing his own around her waist, pulling her close, he breathed in her smell of wildflowers and machine oil.    
"Thank you" he whispered, he moved a hand up to stroke her back, but found it making contact with soft silky skin and remembered she was only wearing a thin silk sheet.  His senses suddenly became very aware of her body pressed against him, her breasts pressing against his shirtless torso.  He felt himself stirring and coughed, breaking the embrace.   
"Well! Um, that is all I came for... Oh, wait! No it wasn't, actually... I wanted to tell you that I have meetings with citizens this afternoon and wondered if you would join me?  Erend I believe Vanveer is wishing to meet you for a look over the city."  He looked at Erend, expecting to see a disapproving face from his embrace with Aloy, instead all he found was a face of acceptance.  Perhaps his night with Aloy would help him be more comfortable with Avad and Aloys relationship he thought.   
"Of course I will join you Avad" Aloy said, kissing him on the cheek.   
"I'll show Vanveer around, no problem." Erend said, nodding at him.  
"Great! I will get Folrig to come with you this afternoon, but I will put another guard here to make sure no one  tampers with your room.  Can I meet you both for lunch in the dining hall? Vanveer will be joining us as well of course..." They both nodded, and satisfied, Avad left the chambers. 

 

* * *

_Where the fuck were they?_ Aneta wondered, although she knew it was harsh.  Meet at dawn at the north gate out the city, but the sun was only just rising, technically that did mean it was dawn, but even she knew she hadn't meant dawn quite as literally.  She was only there early because she hadn't slept and had instead spent the night packing and repacking, reading and re-reading the notes Marad had given them on the Dakasha.  Eventually she had resigned herself to not getting any sleep and had left her home early, the streets were quiet and dark, must have been the middle of the night as she walked leisurely towards the north gate.  Now she had been sat there on the wall for what felt like  _ **hours.**_  To start with she passed the time by lying on the wall, looking up at the glittering stars above her, but now the stars were gone, hidden by the light of the sun as it began its ascent, so this had left her moody and without anything to do but wait for Kiln and Lomaz to show up.  

Kiln was the first to arrive, in his defence, the sun was still rising, the sky a mixture of the dark of the night and the purples and reds of the sunrise.  It was still dawn, he wasn't actually late, but Aneta clucked her tongue at him impatiently regardless. "What fucking time do you call this? Lazy sod." She said, throwing a piece of fruit at him.   
For a moment he looked shocked, but then laughed at her, "err. Dawn? You know, the time you told us to be here!" He said eating the fruit.  Aneta folded her arms with a "humph!"  
"How long you been here?" Kiln asked.   
"Fuck knows" Aneta shrugged.  "Couldn't sleep.  Ended up here super early."  Kiln rolled his eyes at her.   
"Why isn't that a surprise?" He said, eyebrow raised, smirk on his face, which made Aneta roll her own eyes. 

As they waited the city began to come to life, traders began setting up their stalls, the smell of baking bread and meat began to fill the air.  The sun crept higher, the darkness slowly being illuminated, the reds and purples giving way to the blue light of day.  Dawn had truly broken.  So where was Lomaz?   
"Ugh. I knew that pipsqueak would be late." Aneta grumbled.  
"Hey! Don't go getting all moody just cos you were so early." Kiln gave her a playful shove.  
"I'm not, but we have a job to do. Its important! Captain wants us gone ASAP.  Dunno why he even put Lomaz on this mission, seems a little too important for him."   
"He's a good scout, and its a scouting mission" Kiln poked her, "Be nice. He's only young!"  
"That's my point!" Aneta said exasperated, although she knew she didn't overly mean it, Lomaz was a good kid, fun to have around, but he still had a lot to learn, she felt like Erend was throwing him in at the deep end.  A deep end in a storm.  Infested with Snapmaws.  

A small thin figure came running towards them, pack on his back, face red from running.  He skidded to a halt in front of them, "I'm here, "I'm here" He doubled over wheezing, "sorry I'm late" he panted.  Kiln and Aneta looked at each other.   
"Need a moment there pipsqueak?" Aneta asked looking down at him from her place on the wall.   
"No no, I'm fine, totally ready."  Lomaz said, straightening up and moving to start walking to prove it, only to trip over her bag.  Aneta raised an eyebrow looking at Lomazs sprawled form face down in the dusty road.  
"We'll give you a minute..." She told him. 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there readers! Long time no update! I do apologise. I had to go do my university exams, and I meant to update once I got back, but I find myself finding it difficult to get back into the story despite re-reading it a few times. Anyway I'm attempting this chapter. Please let me know what you think, apologies if it isn't great, I'm basically just biting the bullet here and starting to write and seeing what happens lol.

Lunch with Vanveer was once again an interesting experience for Aloy.  Things still felt a bit tense with Avad following the drama from that morning and so Aloy made intense effort to speak with Vanveer at great lengths about architecture and his new plans for the city, although she couldn't help but feel his plans may change following his tour of the city with Erend later.  
Avad was following the conversation with amusement, "Vanveer my friend, so full of ideas.  Best not forget that there is still much work to be done on restoration of the city before we can begin with all these wonders you wish to create!" Avad told him, smiling fondly.   
Vanveer looked surprised, it was almost as if he had forgotten the circumstances under which he had been called upon, he laughed, "of course! Silly old fool, rushing ahead of myself! Quite right..." He trailed off, brow furrowed in thought.   
"Not a fool.  Just, creative... and hopeful" Aloy said, reaching out and patting him on the arm.  The elderly man placed a hand over her own, smiling at her gratefully.   
"Thank you Aloy.  You must excuse me while I go and gather my things for our trip around the city, Erend.  Shall I meet you by the gates?"   
"Sure, no problem"   
"Splendid" and with that Vanveer got up and walked away, passing Marad on the way out.

"Sire, citizens are beginning to arrive to speak with you."  Marad informed the king.   Avad looked over at Aloy, who suddenly felt very nervous, she must've looked it too because he reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it "It will be fine, just let me do the talking, you don't even have to do anything OK?" He said softly.  Aloy nodded, swallowing thickly.   Avad rose, "Thank you Marad, just give me 5 minutes then you can send the first one in."  Marad bowed and left going back to tend to the waiting citizens.    
Aloy had turned now to Erend for some support too, who like Marad had his hands just shy of her shoulders and was speaking to her with conviction, "Don;t worry Aloy, you've faced far worse than a few upset civilians, hells, you've dealt with your fair share of those too!" He reminded her.   
"It's not really the same, Erend." Aloy pointed out.   
Erend sighed, then shrugged, "so just pretend it is."   
His response garnered a look of confused curiosity from Aloy as she considered his words.  But any response she may have had was cut short as Avad interrupted saying they should go and get ready in the throne room.  Aloy looked up at him, "Of course" she said, nodding, she turned back to Erend, "Have fun with Vanveer!" She told him, grinning.   
"Oh I am sure I will" Erend said, as he got up and moved to pull Aloys own seat away from the table so she too could get up.  Once she did she thanked him, turning to kiss him on the cheek before moving to Avads side.   
"Ready?" He asked her.   
"No." Came the response, which he wasn't expecting, "But I never am.  Things just, happen.  I'll roll with it" she said, staring stoically forwards.   
Avad nodded to her and they moved off towards the throne room.

Aloy immediately noticed that the layout had been slightly altered in order to accommodate a second chair, well, it was more than a chair really but less than a throne.   She couldn't help but wonder what would happen to it after all this was over and she no longer had to pretend to be Queen.  She looked at Avad, who was smiling at her, "Do you like it?" he asked.   He looked excited and so Aloy let herself take it in further.  She noticed that whilst it had some golden adornments and comfy silken cushions it was made with the same familiar wood as the Nora used for their huts and furnishings and was done in a similar style, just made more elegant.  It was a nice touch and it did look lovely, and comfortable.    
"Oh" she breathed, moving towards it she ran her hand along the arm of the chair "It's lovely, but should you really have taken the time to do this? I'm not sure the citizens coming in will appreciate it."   
Avad, who had been beaming at her reaction, blanched at this realisation "oh, yes..."  
Aloy laughed a little "You didn't think of that did you?" She scolded playfully.   
"No..." Avad admitted, "I am being a terrible king right now." He sighed, brow furrowed in frustration at his failings.  
Aloy moved over to him, reaching out and stroking his arm, "Hey now, no your not.  You're a great king! You just have a lot on your mind right now, anyone would be distracted."   
Avad looked at her, then pulled her into a hug, "Thank you.  You always know what to say."    
They stood for a moment, locked in their embrace, before Avad broke it suddenly, jumping back, "oh! We best get ready, Marad will be showing in our first citizen anytime now..." 

 

* * *

 

 

At the palace gates Erend was talking to the guards as he waited for Vanveer, hoping that the old man didn't keep him waiting for too long so as to be back in a timely manner, ready for when Aloy was finished with Avad.  Thankfully, his silent wish was granted as Vanveer walked towards him, only a few minutes after Erend himself had arrived at the gates, although hope was soon diminished as he noted that Vanveer carried with him a sketchbook and a array of pencils, pastels and paints.    
"Do not look so worried Erend," Vanveer called to him, noting Erends concerned look at his sketchbook and tools, "It is merely to document the journey, quick sketches of any ideas I have or places I feel need particular attention that I may look back on these later." He tried to reassure, but Erend found himself wondering just how quick making those sketches would be, but he nodded anyway.   
"Alright then.  Shall we get going?"   
"Yes! I am just as eager as you to start! Although I think for different reasons" the elderly gentleman chuckled.  Causing Erend to look at him quizzically, "I merely mean I am excited to see the city, see for myself what I can do.  You however I think are more eager to have this job over and done with."   
Erend was surprised at the mans candor, "Vanveer... I.."  He was stopped by Vanveer, "It's ok Erend, I understand this isn't a very interesting assignment, and I know you have a job to do already that I have taken you from.  You must be anxious to return to Aloy as her guard."   
"Ah. Well, yes.  That is my main priority, anything that takes me away from that job is a cause for concern, you know, incase something happens..."  
Vanveer nodded.

As they left the royal and upper areas and moved into the city, it was clear Vanveer was struck by the damage around him, although he composed himself quickly, making quick written notes in his sketchpad regarding the state of disarray.   He moved swiftly now, to areas of most import,  beginning with the lifts as was his purpose in being summoned, he set about sketching their current state of dilapidation and Erend realised he had worried for naught.  Vanveer worked fast, his sketching rudimentary but giving a detailed enough overview of the issues, on the back he highlighted the main issues and areas of attention.  Erend was shocked at the speed of the mans work, which must have shown on his face as Vanveer looked over at him, laughing "See m'boy, when you get as old as I do, things you have done for your whole life, such as drawing, become quick pass times." He winked, then closed his book, returning his pencils to his bag, "let us move on." He said, walking away swiftly, leaving Erend standing rather dazed.

 

* * *

 Aloy had to admit that meetings with the citizens was going well.  To begin with she had remained quiet as Avad had suggested, but now that she had become more settled and understood the flow more, she had pitched in a few times with suggestions, or to offer her assistance.  Avad didn't seem to mind and perhaps even relished her involvement, beaming at her when she joined in which only sought to boost her confidence. 

Marad walked in escorting a woman, she looked tired and broken.  Her clothes were still stained with dirt and ashes, her face too, save for the marks made by tears Aloy noted.  Her hair was wild and unkempt, there was no nice way to say it, but the woman was a mess.  Avad looked toward Marad for an introduction to this women, "Your radiance, I present to you, Lulinca.  Citizen of the city, married to a guard, she runs a vegetable stall."  Avad nodded, and Marad bowed and left the room.   
Lulinca looked up at Avad, eyes already brimming with tears, making Avad sit foward on his throne, concern filling his dark brown eyes.   
"Lulinca, what brings you to me today, my citizen." He asked, his tone calm, but caring.   
Silence befell them, as the woman before them clearly struggled to find the words, "I... I am sorry.  I'm not really sure... I just..." she broke into sobs, although she tried to stop herself, she could not.  Avad looked shocked, concerned, unsure what to do.  Aloy however rose, she moved towards the women reaching out, "Hey, its OK to cry if you need to.  We can wait..."  
The women turned, seemingly ready to thank her, but then recoiled, her face twisting into anger and disgust causing Aloy to stop in shock and confusion.  
 **"YOU!"** The woman shouted, pointing at Aloy **"This is all your fault, you did this to us!"**  
"I'm sorry, what?" Aloy asked.   
The woman spluttered, **"What? She asks WHAT?? You and your meddling! Taming machines, you angered them! Look what happened! Because of you!"** She was gesturing wildly to the city, across at the spire too.  But her explanation did nothing for Aloy, she was still confused.  
"Yes, I tamed machines, but... they were tamed.  That meant they wouldn't attack..." she tried to explain.  
 **"Yeah! How'd that work out for you!?"** Lulinca retorted, to which Aloy found she had no comeback, at least not one that wouldn't require a more in depth analysis of all the background information regarding the machines, the old world, project zero dawn...   
"I... I was trying to stop it.  To stop this.  I was helping." Aloy said, although even she noted her conviction was lacking her words sounded meagre in comparison to this woman's anger and passion.  
Lulinca let out a disgusted laugh,  **"Yeah some help.  You raze the city, bring the Carja to its knees, the most prosperous tribe and you destroy it, then you get to be Queen? You? A failed Nora Savage.  Got ideas too far above your station you and look where its got us, everyone else paying the price, everyone but you."** She spat, edging nearer to Aloy as she spoke, causing Aloy to back away, not wanting to fight an unarmed citizen, but also reeling from her words, wondering if there was some truth to them.  Perhaps if she hadn't looked for her mother been so eager to find answers, none of this would have happened...   
 **"Whats up, destroying one tribe not enough for you huh? I heard what you did to the Nora too.  Raze their lands then came here to raze ours, best be telling the Oseram to watch out."  
** "It wasn't like that, I never meant for this, I never wanted this...I just-"  
 **"'wanted to help'"** Lulinca said in a mocking tone,  **"Well some help you are. Their all dead. Dead because of you.** Dead..." She had started strong, but with her words of death Lulinca broke down, dissolving into tears.  Shocked and not knowing what to do Aloy knelt beside her, "Who is dead?" She asked kindly.   
Lulinca pounced on her, taking Aloy by surprise as she knocked her to the ground screaming  **"MY CHILDREN!"** As she kicked, punched, slapped, anything.  Her lack of training and current frailty meant that this didn't overly hurt Aloy as much as it surprised her, and simply broke her heart.  As Lulinca was pulled off of her by guards screaming and cursing at Aloy for murdering her children Aloy could do nothing by lie there on the cold stone floor of the throne room her screams echoing in her mind, he words driving daggers in her heart, she thought too of Rost, of how he had died trying to save her, because of the attack at the proving which had happened because of her.  Lulinca was right, it was all because of her.

Avads face came into view as he knelt beside her, "Aloy, by the sun, are you alright?" He asked, helping her up, but Aloy didn't respond, her mind whirling.  "Aloy?" She looked at him now, taking in his concerned face, worried brow, but as she looked at him her resolve broke with the weight of it all, tears began to fall.    
"I'm sorry." She whispered, before swiftly getting up and running from the room ignoring Avads cries. 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a relatively short one to get back into the swing of it :)

Aloy ran through the palace, she could hear Avad calling after her, but she didn't want to talk to him right now.   She soon found herself at her chamber and realised she must have become more acquainted with the layout of the palace than she had realised.   Rushing past a rather startled looking Folrig she burst into the room, resting her back against the door, meeting and speaking with citizens with Avad had concerned her for a multitude of different reasons, but never had she imaged anything like  _that_ was going to happen.   Yet, the woman had only raised nagging concerns that she held in herself.   Could this be her fault?  How much had her interference and selfish pursuit of answers played a part in the way in things transpired?   
She looked around the room, once more taking in the lavish furnishings and what should be the comfort of it that now just weighed heavy on her, she couldn't help but feel that the woman had been right.  She was just a Nora outcast, she did not deserve this luxury, and she had brought the war to the doors of the Carja, how did they ever think she could be their Queen even if it was just pretend? 

In a flurry of movement she swept across the room, to the draws taking off the dress and jewellery she had put on for appearances sake and discarding them on the floor she crouched to open the bottom draw in which lay her armour and weapons.  She paused for a moment, so much had happened in a few short days that they now appeared as if relics from another life.   Gingerly she traced a finger over the curvature of her bow, maybe hunting would help.  It always had in the past, there was no reason it shouldn't now...   
Grabbing it all out the draw she threw it on the bed, and quickly dressed herself noticing that the armour had been washed since they had arrived which was a pleasant surprise.  She was just hoisting on her weapons and packs when she heard a knock at the door;  
"Aloy?" Avads concerned voice called at her through the wood, and for a second she almost went to him, but she didn't.  Instead she made her way to the window, and climbed out of it, stopping as she did to look back at the door, almost picturing the King behind it.  

"I'm sorry." She whispered, before letting herself drop, and running.  

* * *

 

Avad was angry with himself, feeling as though he should have interjected sooner.  He had just been so stunned at the sheer anger of the woman, shocked at her accusations that Aloy was to blame for any of this, left breathless by Aloys own reactions which despite the venom of the woman had clearly been to just help her and a want to comfort her.  As the woman had launched herself at Aloy though he had realised, too late, that he should have intervened sooner, someone this angry... what did he think was going to happen?   
The guards had reacted quickly, dragging the woman out of the room as she cried and protested.  Avad had not spared her another thought going to Aloy concerned that she had not made to get herself up off the floor, the reason why became apparent as he reached her and found that she was crying too.  Hardly surprising given the outburst. 

"Aloy! By the sun are you alright?" He asked, which even as the words left him he realised their ridiculousness.  Aloy looked at him, her eyes so sad, a mixture of pain, grief, confusion.   
"I'm sorry" she whispered and she got up and ran.   
"Aloy!" He called after her but she didn't stop, didn't even turn around.  Avad stood, and moved to pursue her, but then decided to give her a moment to compose herself, instead he moved in the opposite direction to where his heart was screaming to run.  The direction that would instead take him to his guards.

"Your Radiance, we have placed the citizen in the prisons." One of his guards informed him.   Avad wasn't sure how he felt about this information, as angry as he was with the woman for her outburst and for upsetting Aloy, it was obvious she was grieving, the poor woman had probably lost everything...   
"Thank you, please, I would speak with her." He said.   
"Sire are you sure that is a good idea?" He hadn't even realised Marad was there until he spoke.  
"She came to see me, she is obviously grieving, despite her actions she still deserves my time."   
"As you wish Sire." Marad bowed.   
"This way then Sir." A guard gestured to Avad to follow him down the stairs to the basements of the palace where they held the prisoners. 

He could hear her crying as they descended into the basement, as the stairs ended and they walked into the open expanse of the prison Avad held out his arm to stop the guard following any further, silently motioning that he should stay there.   Avad moved further into the room, peering into the empty cells looking for her.  He found her near the end of the corridor, lying on the floor of her cell, probably where she had been thrown in by the guards, she didn't even appear to have registered his presence.  Looking around he noticed keys to the cell on a hook nearby, he grabbed them and a chair, unlocking the door he walked into the cell, bending down before her and extending a hand to help her up.   
"Lulinca, wasn't it?" He asked.  The woman looked up at him, clearly surprised to see him.  
"Y...Yes..."  
"Please, get up.  Let us sit." He gestured behind him to the chair, and Lulinca gingerly grabbed his hand allowing herself to be pulled up.  Once she was up Avad pulled the chair that was inside her cell towards the one he had just placed in the room.   Wordlessly he gestured that she should sit, as he himself sat down.   
"I... I don't understand... W..Why are you here?" She asked him as she sat down.   
"Because you are my citizen, and you came to see me." He answered simply.  
"Yeah but... then I attacked the Queen, or well, queen-to-be..." she said thickly, sniffing.   
"Yes, and it goes without saying that I do not condone or approve of your behaviour.  However, it is obvious you have sustained heavy losses, your children you said?  I think it is easy to see you are not acting as you normally would."   
Lulinca just nodded.   
"As such, I don't think you need to be locked up, but I thought perhaps I should speak with you first, before I let the guards let you go."  
"Your going to let me go!?"   
"Well, we have established you aren't acting in the right mind. Clearly grieving.  I don't believe keeping you locked up will help you with that process.  So yes, you are free to go, but only once we have spoken, you never did say why you came to me."  Avad lent forward resting his elbows on his knees, looking at Lulinca.  
"Oh.  Well.  I wasn't sure really.  I probably shouldn't have... I just didn't know where else to go, I've lost everything, my family my home..."  
Avad considered her for a moment.  "Hmm, perhaps this wasn't the best place to come, but I understand.  I may be able to help.  The Vanguard have set up tents and assistance in the centre of the city, how about we have a guard escort you there, where they may be able to assist you more than I personally can?"   
Lulinca seemed overwhelmed again, "T..Thank you your majesty... such kindness I fear I do not deserve after my actions today."   
Avad stood up, "I do not pretend to know what you are going through Lulinca, but I do know that I hope I shall never have to find out.  When I sought to overthrow my father, I knew it was the right thing to do, but once I had done so, I was surprised by the loss and grief I felt.  He was after all, my father.  The closest feeling I can use to empathise with you is the fear I felt when I believed Aloy to have been killed during the war..." He trailed off, remembering not only those feelings, but also more poignantly the feelings when Ersa had died, which was a much better comparison but their relationship had been secret, so he could not very well use that example.  He felt Lulinca's hand on his arm, he looked down at her, her eyes were filling with sympathy and relief.    
"Come, I left a guard at the end of the hall, I will have him take you to the Vanguard."

They left the cell, walking toward the guard who had brought him down here, as they got closer Avad noticed he looked confused and concerned that he had let her out of her cell, but knew better than to question the king.  
"I do not feel Lulinca is a danger to anyone despite her outburst concerning Aloy.  I think she just needs help.  As such I hope you will escort her to the Vanguard in the city centre." Avad informed the guard simply.   
The guard nodded "Of course your radiance.  Ma'am, come with me."   
Lulinca turned to Avad, "Thank you." She said and she curtseyed, before following the guard down a different corridor that Avad knew would take them out into the city.     
He watched for a moment, before swiftly moving back up the stairs they had come down, feeling certain he had given Aloy enough time to calm down, and so hoping she would be willing to speak to him now. 

He practically ran through the palace toward her chamber, as he got near Folrig nodded at him, indicating that she was indeed in her chambers, Avad nodded back, and knocked on the door "Aloy?" He called out, he waited but there was no response, although he was sure he heard movement from within.  He knocked again, "Aloy, please.  We should discuss this."  Still no response, he closed his eyes, sighing, not overly wishing to just enter her room, but feeling that the situation demanded it, he slowly opened the door just a crack "Aloy, I'm coming in OK?" He called, still nothing, not even to protest... That did not seem right.  All caution gone he swung the door open now, "Aloy..." he said then stopped short, the room was empty, how could it be empty?  He walked in his eyes scanning the room, he saw the dress and jewellery she had been wearing lying scattered on the floor, the bottom draw of the cabinet open left open.  Her armour and weapons were gone, he spun around frantically, how did she get out without Folrig noticing!?  His eyes came to stop on the open window, he walked over to it, looking out of it, "Oh Aloy... What have you done?"  


	27. Chapter 27

Aloy moved deftly around the outskirts of the city, ducking and hiding from guards and anyone who might notice her and stop her to talk, or ask for her help.   It wasn't until she got to the Oasis that she stopped hidden in the lush plant life.  She had been so busy focusing on getting out the city unseen and avoiding talking to Avad she hadn't even stopped to think about what she was doing, which was running away, which now as she thought about it seemed like a silly thing to be doing and as she made her way towards the river for some water she considered turning back, feelings of guilt at her selfishness now becoming apparent.  Avad would be so worried for her, and she was barely even able to consider what this would be doing to Erend, she knew if she did the guilt would over power her, and as guilty and selfish as she felt right now, she couldn't help but feel she needed time away from all the madness, time to herself.  She had just saved the world, if anyone deserved to be a bit selfish surely it was her?  But then she wasn't even sure where she would go, what she would do, she huffed in frustration as she reached the river, immediately moving to grab her water pouch before stopping herself to remember her focus, she didn't really know what the effect of the pulse would have on the already existing more vicious machines would be, if any, so it would be prudent to scan for any signs of snapmaws before disturbing the water.

As she brought up the interface of her focus though something caught her eye, flashing in the corner, a notification that the decryption of Elizabets private files had finally completed, suddenly Aloy knew what she would do.  What she felt she  _needed._   If there was anything she felt like she needed more than anything right now it was a mother, and although she knew Elizabet wasn't truly her mother, she was as close to a mother as she was ever going to get.  She had always planned to find the ranch Elizabet had spoke of, see if she had managed to make it back before the swarm got to her, maybe this would be a good mission to undertake now, especially if the files were done, she could listen to them along the way.  Hopefully something inside them would point her in the right direction. 

Her mind made up she scanned the river, there were snapmaws, but they weren't nearby, she should be able to gather some water from here safely, next on the list would be to replenish her medicinal herbs and craft some arrows.  She would have to work fast, it was already getting late in the afternoon and she wanted to get further from Meridian before nightfall to avoid been seen.  Using her focus she was able to make some slow progress in herb and wood collection whilst avoiding nearby machines. Once she was satisfied she had enough wood to make a sizeable amount of arrows that evening at camp she began her search for a strider to commandeer.   She knew evening was closing in, Erend was probably back at the palace now and therefore knew she was gone, it broke her heart to think of how worried and angry he must be right now, she regretted not leaving a note for him to find, not that she'd have had anything to say in it at that point.   
Thankfully she had finally found a herd of striders, the need to focus on taming one now giving her mind something to focus on instead of thinking about Erend.   Rummaging in her pack she found a signal, using it to attract the attention of one of the striders who was further away from the rest of the group, she hid in the long grass as it cantered over staying hidden until the last second when she pounced, swiftly moving her staff to connect with the machine and tame it.   As she climbed onto the machine and set off she coaxed it faster and faster, laughing a little at the sheer speed and the feel of the wind in her hair.  She felt free again. 

 

* * *

It was mid afternoon when Erend got back to the palace with Vanveer, finding the place bustling with activity.  Whilst this was to be expected following the war, Erend found himself concerned about the nature of this activity concerned something had happened, even beside him Vanveer had fallen quite quiet.  Erend pushed his way through the people towards the throne room to find Avad and see what was happening.  He found Avad pacing his throne room, Marad and some guards talking animatedly.   
Erend cleared his throat, announcing his presence, "Avad?" He asked.  The king wheeled around, his eyes wide, he rushed towards Erend.   
"Erend, now try to remain calm... but," he took a deep breath "Aloy is missing."

It was as though he could feel the blood rushing in his ears, time seemed to slow down, so many thoughts were going through his head, he couldn't even begin to focus on one.    
"What? What do you mean she is missing!? How??"   
"I... she..." Avad didn't seem to know where to begin, "We were meeting with citizens and, one woman was really upset, started blaming Aloy for the war against the machines... it all happened so fast, the woman attacked her, nothing serious just a grieving womans flailing, but, well I guess it was too much to cope with... She ran, and when I went to check on her the room was empty, her armour was gone..."   
Erend steadied himself, trying to process the information.  A citizen had attacked her? Blamed her for the war? Why? It didn't make sense!   
"Erend?" Avad was looking at him concerned.  
"I... um.. so.. the Dakasha got to her?" He asked still a bit dazed and confused trying to process.  
Avad shifted uncomfortably, "No... I don't think so." He said, their eyes met.  
"What Avad? Tell me!"   
"She... I think she ran away herself."   
Erend shook his head, "No....  **NO!** "

He took off, running towards the room they shared, he noticed there were no guards outside of it now, the door was open.  He stood outside it, looking in for a moment before gingerly walking into the room, eyes scanning the scene.  Bottom draw where she'd put her armour and weapons was open, and empty, just as Avad had said.   
He moved towards it when something clinked by his feet, looking down he saw a dress crumpled left where she'd taken it off and her jewellery.  He bent down, picking up the dress he fingered it lightly, behind him he heard the voice of Avad, low, almost a whisper, "Erend, I am so sorry..." 

* * *

 

True to his word the kings guardsman walked her to the centre of the city, whilst this turn of events had been a welcome surprise as opposed to having to bust herself out of jail, she was now presented with the predicament of being escorted to a place of help when she didn't actually need help.  Unless you counted help getting out of the city.   
As they came up to the centre the array of tents and stations became clearly visible, sensing an opportunity she turned to the guard "Ah, I see now.  I am sure I can find my way to the vanguard from here, I'm sure you have more important work to be doing." She smiled at the guard.   
"Are you certain ma'am? I can come with you if you like, find a competent vanguard to help you?"  
"No no, I'm sure it will be fine.  I have imposed on you and the palace enough after my actions.  Please."   
The guard nodded, "Alright then.  Well.  I hope they will be able to help you."   
"Thank you." She said, and the guard turned, leaving back the way they came, Lulinca watched him go, waiting until he was out of sight before she turned around walking quickly, but not towards the centre and the help of the vanguard, like she needed them.  Hah.   
No, she walked instead to the rendezvous point, she was early, they had planned this with her having to escape from prison, not be let out.  What kind of soft sap was this king anyway? No wonder is kingdom had been under attack. 

It still took her a little while to find the point, being unfamiliar with the city layout, but she found her way to the oasis that bordered the city.  They had scouted around the oasis locations near the city, just a mile or so out from the city walls, and found a decent area, easy to remember, but hidden in the plant life.  She hoped she would be safe there from machines too, but as she arrived she saw that her partner was also surprisingly early.  
"Folrig? How are you here already?" She looked around, "Wait, if you are here... where is the girl?"  
"After you attacked her and were dragged away, she ran off, like we thought, returned to her chamber.  I waited because I was sure the king was going to follow her, but I guess he went to see you first... when he finally came to see her, she was gone."  
"Gone? What do you mean 'gone'"?   
"She had run away! Well,  _has_  run away, took all her armour, weapons, pegged it.  Guess you really scared her..."  
"I barely touched her! Oh this is disappointing, I thought she had more bottle than this.   Fenora won't be pleased."   
Folrig shifted uncomfortably.  No their leader would not be happy about this turn of events.  If Aloy was out there somewhere and with weapons and armour, she was going to be hard to find and hard to capture.   
"Although... she clearly isn't think straight, perhaps she won't be so hard to track..." Lulinca pondered, "and, we can capture her without blowing your cover now, incase we still needed it.  Actually... we can use your cover to use the vanguard and the city to help locate her... Yes... maybe this has all worked out for the better..."   
Lulinca started walking away, beckoning Folrig to follow.  Before anything, they would need to inform their leader of these events, it would after all, be his decision on how to proceed. 


End file.
